EXTRA, EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT IT!!!
Over a period of several years San Francisco planned on installing a 1.7 billion dollar public toilet. That was, until after it was spoken about on the Jessy Watter’s Primerib LOX News show. Then Governor Gravel Nudesome decided to look into the exorbitant price and scrub the toilet deal! Whoever the contract was with, I would say they were trying to clean out the city instead of toilets.
Good work to Watter’s Team for flushing out this money laundering scam! Hopefully, they will have the same effect on the homeless street sleepers connecting washers and dryers up to local power and water companies to get free electricity and water use for their laundry!
Chung Lee Confusion
“We’re following the science” really means “we’re playing politics”.
FACT: It takes an electric Hummer up to four days to fully charge, twenty-four if you install a special charger.
FACT: After Hurricane Ian and the flooding of salt water – electric car batteries corroded and have caught on fire, these fires are very dangerous and very hard to put out, as they are chemical fires.
FACT: There are politicians and cabinet members who have stock in bus companies who are going to be producing electric school busses. Go ahead and sing – “Batteries on the bus go up in smoke, up in smoke, up in smoke. Batteries on the bus go up in smoke all over town.” (Song idea is from regular audience member of Jessy Watter’s Primerib.)
“I’m John Fetterwoman!” – by Pander Ing
John Fetterwoman is running for Congress in Transylvania, I mean Pennsylvania. He is running against Doctor OZ (famous TV doctor who has many degrees in Audio Visual Technology for repair work). It had to hurt Doctor OZ when his mom , Opera Windfall, came out and said she would vote for Fetterwoman over the Doc.
On October 25, 2022, the two men had a debate, even though over one million people had already voted and turned in their ballots. Another problem with having the debate is that John Fetterwoman could not speak without the aid of a teleprompter. When he goes out in public he has a stenographer with him. This is because he suffered a stroke earlier this year. The Dummycrats were not so dumb, as they kept the stroke problems quiet and did not let the people really know about his comprehension and speech problems. This is called “pulling the wool over their eyes” trick. They pulled the same trick in 2020 with Joe Biden (who was a hiddin’ in his basement).
It turns out, however, that Fetterwoman’s bi-sexual wife is from a foreign country. Gazelle Burrito Fetterwoman will actually be running her husband’s business (if he gets elected), just as Doctor Jill runs Joe around the White House. We know this because Joe Biden just as much came out with it and said so at the Silly-Philly rally. There is one big problem with Mrs. Fetterwoman being so closely connected to Congress, her father was (not sure if he still is) with foreign intelligence in their country. I suppose that this does not mean that Mrs. Fetterwoman would spy on our country, but you never know; has anybody asked her about this? I doubt it. You can be sure, however, that Gazelle Burrito Fetterwoman is as far Left (to the communist regime) as her husband is, because she believes that swimming pools are prejudice! I wonder if she also thinks that car pools are prejudice? What a ridiculous statement she made about pools, I have known many swimming pools during my life and not one of them are prejudice!
I would not vote for Fetterwoman, because, I do not live in Philadelphiacreamcheese, but also because of what his name means. It means, to imprison (fetter) women! But the real reason why I would never vote for the man is because he is a communist, not to mention (but I must do so), he was another really bad mayor (and this was before the stroke).
Another bad fact about this Fetterwoman candidate is that he was on a parole board and he voted to release murderers and let them out from prison (I believe it was 25 times). Many murderers were released because of him.
Fetterwoman, while he was mayor, profiled an innocent black man and followed him and then held him prisoner with a shot gun until the coppers arrived. The black man was innocent, but, because Fetterwoman is a Democrat he got off scotch free and duty free from having to apologize to that black man, nor has he been harassed by Black Lives Mutter.
Biden thinks that Fetterwoman is a great guy, they get along fine. This is because Joe has finally found somebody that he can actually communicate with. They both understand each other perfectly well. Biden is to make a second trip to campaign for Fetterwoman, and he is bringing Harris with him. President B. O. is also supposed to make a trip to Fetterwoman country.
Campaign Slogan for Doctor Oz – “FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD TO YOUR POLING STATION AND ELECT DOCTOR OZ!”
We admit this is a rather long slogan, so maybe it should be shortened to just: FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD TO OZ.
Our Map Department made the following map of Oz, based upon The Wizard of OZ book. We thought you might be interested in seeing what the land looks like!
Who knew that Oz was so circular?
LEE ZELDA DEBATES NEW YORK GOV – by Bow Tie Gamer
On the same night as the Oz-Fetterwoman debate another important debate took place in New York between the female governor, Kathy Hackle, who never got elected (I bet you thought I was going to say she never got a dinner), and Congressman Lee Zelda.
We all think that Lee won the debate, as Hackle refused to address the naked man in the room (who is an illegal alien criminal from Canada that broke into Nancy Pilono’s house later on in the week) about crime and violence. Her idiotic reply, for the crime problem, was, “Why is it so important to you?” She really does not understand why crime and violence is such an important issue in this upcoming election! Well, they do not call them dummycrats for nothing.
Over the past few months Lee Zelda was attacked on stage by a man with a kitty-cat keychain and gunshots went off outside his family’s home. His daughters could have been shot, but fortunately they were kept safe (by God). Hackle does not understand why the issue of crime and violence is so important to Lee Zelda and her New York citizens! She told Al Sharptone that it is all a hoax by the Right, as they never tell anyone about how much violence is in red states. But we are not stupid, we know it is only the blue cities in the red states where all the crime is being committed (for the most part). If she played CLUE she would not be able to figure out that it was Colonel Mustard in the Library with the revolver!
This woman and Joe Biden are responsible for all of those people who lost their jobs in New Yorkso over the past year – because they felt it was unsafe, not necessary, or the idea goes against their religion to be vaccinated for the coronavirust – so they did not get vaccinated (and lost their jobs). Some of them were firemen who worked on the front lines during 2020 when there were no vaccines, yet they were forced to either get the vaccination shots or be fired. It is a hard thing when a fireman is fired!
Joe Biden had his two shots (not tequila) both before he was inaugurated, even though he denies this fact. (His mind is either soup or else he hates President Trumpet that much.) He also had his two booster shots before he came down with coronavirust and then got coronavirust again (just like his precious Dr. Faust). They both had the same treatment; they were given some new drug that Faust is promoting (so he can make even more money)! Does it sound like his new drug works? I’m thinking hydroxychloroquine works way better (and it’s cheaper). You may not believe me, but you should watch an episode of The Dead Zone, from 2003, about a coronavirust disease!
Then, again on the same week as the debates we’ve been talking about, Biden got another booster shot! This old man is really afraid of the disease! He knows that getting vaccinated does not keep you from getting sick from the disease, yet he is still pushing mandatory vaccinations! What a WACK-A-DOODLE-DO he is! Kathy Hackle does not fall far from Biden’s family nut tree. She is just as stupid about the coronavirust as Biden is.
And the U.S. Government is continuing to pay for the “free” vaccination shots. But, to be honest with you all, nothing is free. You may not have to pay when you get your shots, but you still are paying for them via your income tax. That’s right, nothing is a free ride. And the farm-a-cuticle companies are raking in the big bucks, huge does, and green lettuce (which out lasts the latest British Prime-rib Minister).
FACT: A New York policeman was caught on camera pulling up Lee Zelda campaign signs from people’s yards and placing them in the back of his police vehicle.
THE UNREALITY OF ABBOTT ELEMENTARY – by Tele Critic
The Halloween episode for Abbott Elementary was totally unrealistic! All the Halloween decorations were off the charts! Nothing like that ever happened in any of the schools I went to while I grew up. Second, there were tons of candy for those kids! To be honest, I remember very little candy when I was in grade school. So the whole thing was fiction. I know, the show really is fiction, but at least they could be more realistic about their fiction. Maybe the show portrayed what the writers actually dreamed about having when they were in school? That seems more logical.
But this show is not the only one that goes way out on the idea of Halloween. You always see tons of kids out trick-or-treating on TV shows. In my neighborhood, the most kids we see any more are thirty (that’s a good year, like 2022). Last year we had maybe five or six, I’m not sure we even had that many! Of course, I live in a cold state, so maybe in the warmer states more children go out. I guess Halloween is a really big thing in Berlin, DelawaresNewJersey, which is an inhabited ghost town.
DOCTOR WHO REGENERATION REPEAT? – by Donna Nobel Peace-Prize
Well, the final episode of the female Doctor finally took place. She was killed by the Master (who is not Jesus but put his face in place of Jesus in The Last Supper) and regenerated into – are you ready for this – David Tenant (who played the tenth doctor).
To be honest, I never liked the actress who was playing the female Doctor. Now, if the Doctor had been played by someone like me, Donna Nobel Peace-Prize, then yeah, I could see that she would have been very popular. But, the actress they hired, I’m sorry, she just was not able to cut the mustard seed (which is a very difficult thing to do) or cut the cheese, little loan successfully pull off being the Doctor (this is, of course my opinion and there are probably people out there who strongly disagree with me). Or even the black woman actress who played the first generation of the Doctor could have cut the mustard seed and cheese and pulled it off. I liked her as a Doctor, just ol’ blondy was not to my taste. I did not like her at all. I did not cry when her life came to an end either. I even preferred the Master over her, and he got his chance!
The last episode seemed sort of gimmicky because they brought in old timer Doctors and some of the older companions. But we are all sort of getting use to that type of thing after the Queen Elizabeth episode happened (with Rose Tyler as Bad Wolf). Yet, David and Matt pulled off being together with the Warrior (Doctor) – John Hurt (I hope he feels better now – take two pills and call the Doctor in the morning).
And yes, when the new (old?) Doctor’s identity was revealed it left us ALL saying, “WHAT?” Even the new (old?) Doctor responded over and over with, “WHAT?” When I told a relative about the ending, even he responded with, “WHAT?”
And I said, “YES! I want that to happen a lot, I never wanted him to go away in the first place!” So hopefully, this was not all just a grand practical joke being played upon all of us FANS, and it will be what really does happen.
And for those of you who missed seeing this final episode of the female Doctor, I hope I didn’t reveal any “Spoilers”! If so, it’s too bad (take two pills and call River Song in the morning).
POOR PAULIE P. SENIOR ATTACKED IN OWN HOME – by Jack Hammer – UPDATE ON JANUARY 27 and 31, 2023
On October 28, 2022, sometime after 2 a.m., an illegal alien from Canada (because his VISA ran out of gas), who has a criminal record longer than any LP in my collection, smashed a glass door in, with a hammer (?), at the Pelono’s house in San Francisco. David Depoppy hit Paul Pelono on the head with a hammer. Depoppy is mentally not all there; maybe someone took a hammer to his head? He does not live on the Streets of San Francisco. However, he does live in an old school bus in Berkley.
“Who doesn’t like yellow school buses?” Khameleon Harris has asked.
Depoppy also loves to be naked as a Jay Bird (he prefers not to be one in prison, even though this is where this man belongs). Depoppy is also a drug addict, which is why he probably really is nuts (not because he has had a hammer to the head, because he probably has not had a hammer to his head). Depoppy also claimed to be Jesus Christ for a whole year, however, he did not heal one single person while thinking he was “the man”! Depoppy raped his own children, yet he is not in jail for the abuse. Why is this?
He entered the Pelono house yelling, “HERE’S JOHNNY!” What’s that? That’s not what he said? Oh, he asked, “WHERE’S NANCY?” That makes way more since! But the story keeps changing, because the Leftists want to use it as a political story to affect the midterm election – to try and make Republicans look bad (and remember, Nancy is up for being re-elected – sympathy votes?). Another reason why the incident may keep changing is because the police camera footage has not been released. Why is it that the district athorney has refused to let anyone see the police body cams or any security footage from the Pelono home. One story heard on the day of the nasty deed, is that the Pelono’s neighbors are familiar with Depoppy, as he hangs out around there, so he may even have run into Nancy on a personal level (unless his relation-ship is only with P. P..; providing this information is correct.) On the 911 phone call Paul tells the operator that he does not know the man in his house. Also, on the 911 phone call, he mentioned Depoppy by his first name and that he came to see his wife. It has also been reported (on November 2nd Ann Southslice’s birthday) that Paul made the 911 call with the speaker phone on and that David was right by his side. After hearing the 911 call you could understand that Paul was trying to be wise in the words that he chose to tell the person on the other end he was in trouble. The 911 operator seemed to be clueless as to what was going on. To me, it did not seem like Pelono wanted to tick off his intruder, but that he definitely wanted the police to respond to his 911 call. And how stupid is Depoppy that he was right there during the 911 call and he stayed at the house? I am also not sure why Depoppy allowed Pelono to answer the door when the police arrived, but he did.
Nobody knows why David Depoppy wanted to know where the woman of the House was at. However, since Friday he has admitted that he wanted to talk to Nancy, ask her questions (about what he did not say). He said that if she told the truth he would let her go, but if she lied he would break her knee caps so that she would need to enter Congress in a wheelchair. So, it does not sound like he wanted to really kill Nancy – just interrogate her and possibly cripple her (which is not a nice thing to do). But his entering the house and asking, “Where’s Nancy?” was enough for the Left-winged nut-bagged media to compare Depoppy to the January sixth protesters. And that is exactly what Joe Biden did during his November 3rd speech! That man is so full of hot air it’s a wonder he isn’t floating around in the sky!
Right away, this story gave the Leftist News Media people a reason to lie to their audience in order to gain votes for the dummycrats in the midterm election. They say, “This man likes President Trumpet! Because he had plastic zip ties in his backpack he is just like the January sixth insurrectionists!” Truth is that David Depoppy likes President Obummer not President Trumpet. The Leftist Media people have forgotten that the man who wanted to kill Bret Kavanaugh this summer also had plastic zip ties, a hammer, and duck-tape (quack quack) in his back pack. Yet, if they would have done some actual leg work (you know actual reporter investigations) they would have found out that the man was an illegal alien from Canada, not a MAGA man. But that is the point, they did not want anyone to know the real facts, like the fact that D. D.’s yellow school bus house had a BLM banner and in the front of the bus there is a pride flag waving around.
Question: Can a person from a foreign country be an insurrectionist to a country he has no legal citizenship to?
Of course, because, this man actually broke into the home of a Democratic big wig, he will be charged and held prisoner (no bail of hay for this man), unlike how he has been dismissed by the law over and over again up until this time. Seems hypocritical, doesn’t it? Rest assured, however, if David Depoppy would have used a hammer on a local San Fran citizen he would be let go. Depoppy was taken to the hospital when Pelono was. We finally found out it was because his arm was broken, probably when he struggled with the police. But that is just a guess.
Dummycratic politicians, besides Joe Biden, are also using the attack for political reasons, like Governor Gravel Nudesome. Nudesome, who might like Depoppy’s pass time of nudity, was claiming that Jessy Watters’ show was mocking Paul Pelono during the summer. Jessy was not mocking the man, he was telling the facts about the man’s auto accident, due to his drunken state when he crashed, and then the local law helped cover up the accident, and helped him out in court. Actually, if Jessy mocked anyone it was the district athorney handling Pelono’s case (The D. A. has family ties to Nudesome and the Pelono’s – did not she have a conflict of interest in Pelono’s case?).
Another thing which does not make any sense is right after the incident Political reported that there was a third unknown person in the house. In fact, they reported, this person opened the door for the police when they arrived on the scene. This is not true at all. After Elong Musk mentioned what Political reported in a Tweet, Political accused him of reporting fake news! I could hear David Tenant saying, “WHAT?” clear across the pond!
After seeing the police footage, of the police’s arrival to the house, it raised questions as to why the police could not get to Depoppy before he bashed the hammer onto Paul’s head. Were they really not sure of what was going on in the house so they hesitated entering the home? Did they think Pelono’s attitude (where he seemed to be trying to deescalate Depoppy) as being confusing? They could have rushed in to grab the intruder but they did not to it. But why not release the police footage sooner? Was it to insure that Depoppy would be able to get a fair trial with a non-bias jury? On the morning of November 4th, NBC’s Today show aired a report, which was quickly taken down from their website. In it the reporter stated the correct facts, that the police arrived at the house and knocked on the door. Paul Pelono answered the door himself. The NBC reporter was hung out to dry near Canada Dry somewhere, as they have him reporting weather in the SNOW. Was it because his report was 100% correct? The real facts is that Pelono answered the door and Depoppy was at his side (on his right side). Depoppy had the hammer in his hand and Pelono had his hand on Depoppy’s hand or the hammer (not sure). The police told Depoppy to drop the hammer, and he said, “No.” And that is when he went after Paul Pelono. Depoppy lost it and swung the hammer on Paul and then the police ran into the house to arrest Depoppy. A lot of speculation and false rumors could have been quelled if the police footage would just have been released, along with the 911 phone call.
A FAME MOOSE QUOTE:
“I have my mother’s eyes. I keep them in my sockets.” — Doctor Frankenstein
CHINA PURCHASES LAND IN FLORIDA – by, Mother Crock
Will Governor De’Santa Clause allow China to have a lab in Florida on the 1400 acres of land that they purchased? I want to know how foreign countries are even legally allowed to buy land in our country! China has also bought up farm land in other areas of the country. How is this right? It’s not Right, but for sure it seems to be Left!
Butt, and this is a big butt, what China wants to do on the Florida land is even worse! They want to use the land to do medical experiments on monkeys. Why would they want to do this? Do they plan on releasing something worse than coronavirust in the USA so that their own people, hopefully, are not affected by it? We cannot trust the Chinese; we cannot even trust our own government if this happens. We, for sure, cannot trust Joe Biden who is compromised by China (via his son’s business deals).
According to PETA, PETA, PETA – during the coronavirus pots’n’pandemic 100,000 monkeys were pulled out of Asia. We, here at the Gander, are not sure if all of them were taken from the wild or if they just acted wild as monkeys do, as the woman said the moneys were taken from disease ridden monkey farms, then packed up in cages, put in cargo bins of planes, and flown to the USA. Upon arrival untold numbers of the monkeys were diseased or dead. This representative did not say if these were Dr. Faust’s monkeys, but they probably were. Is Faust (still) working with China? Is he planning on giving monkeys to China in Florida? These are questions I have and would like to have answered by somebody. Retirement for Faust cannot come soon enough for me! He is a very dangerous person.
CROSSING THE BORDER – by Carnitta Burrito
The following facts are true about the southern border illegal alien crossings. As of this fiscal year (October 21, 2022) 227,547 illegals crossed the border in September 2022. There have been 2,378,944 migrant encounters on the border (and that is without their UFO spaceships). There have been (calculated, because how could they really even know) 600,000 got-a-ways. The FBI made 98 border arrests of people on the non-domestic terror watch list; this number has gone way up, because over the previous past five fiscal years only twenty-six FBI terror watch list arrests were made.
In the Del Rio border section, during the first three weeks of October 2022 over 29,000 illegal crossings were made. In the Rio Grande Valley drug smugglers load drugs up in waiting cars during broad daylight.
F.A.I.R. says that since January 20, 2021 (the day Biden was inaugurated) 5.5 million illegal aliens have entered into the USA.
When is enough, enough? When will the dummycrats own up to the truth and admit there is a border crisis? When will DHS Secretary Mayorkass stop lying and stop making things up?
UPDATE: On November 1st many illegals were crossing into our country. They were waving big, huge flags from their own countries (Venezuela being one of them). They also proceeded to throw rocks at our border patrol agents! The border patrol protected themselves by shooting pepper balls at the illegal immigrants. On the video aired on LOX News, the illegals did retreat, but if they came back across the water I cannot say. THIS IS AN INVASION and if you do not think this is the case then you need to think again. If you were to enter a foreign nation (illegally) carrying your country’s flag (even though you were going to claim asylum making a false claim that your own country is dangerous), and then you attack that other nation’s soldiers, wouldn’t you be invading that country? Be honest. Your reply must be “YES”! And this is what happened. Who gives these people the right to do this? These people do not want or need refuge in our country, they must still love their country to be carrying around its flag (such big ones too)! Where is their respect for our country? The answer is, they have none, if they did they would try to come here the legal way.
Everyday hundreds of people (mostly single adult men) are crossing our border (illegally) and let lose to go mostly anywhere they want to go to do what ever they want to do, even if they commit crimes or not. On November 2nd there were 700 illegals that just walked into Texas. And this is a daily occurrence thanks to Joe Biden and Mayorkass! Our country cannot sustain these numbers of people. But Joe Biden knows this and is laughing all the way to the voting booth. So let the joke be on him, let the yoke fall upon his face, and when you vote on November 8, 2022, do not vote for the demon rat dummycrats!
UPDATE: It seems as if illegals are now crossing the northern border as well, “EY”! What is Canada Dry doing about it? Why are they allowing illegals to enter their country and then cross our northern border? Just what is going on?
ELONG MUSK OWNS TWITTER – by Seata D. Pants
Billionaire Elong Musk, as of October 27, 2022, owns Twitter. Right away he began to fire top executives. No great loss there; as one of them, a woman, is an out-an-out canceler of Conservative viewpoints and is against the First Amendment. She practiced the art of “shadow banning”. I do like to see all those hand shadow puppets, they are cool. The foreign man who got fired is also against the First Amendment and he deserved to be fired. Too bad Twitter’s original boss was too chicken to do it! When the new boss walked into the Twitter building he was carrying a sink. He posted, “Let that sink in!” What a joker he is, if he ever wants a job with the Gigolo Gander news staff, well, he need not apply, I’ll just hire him on the spot. He also began to fire a lot of other people, this may cause him legal problems, as I hear he did not give them 60 days notice according to California law requires him to do.
May Elong Musk succeed with the company and may it turn around and really exercise the First Amendment from this day forward!
SUPPORT HOSE RUNNING FOWL AGAINST A.O.C. – by Dance Along
Recently, in town hall meetings and get-togethers, Congresswoman A. O. C. has been getting yelled at. The woman’s supporters are put out with her for voting to support the war in Euk-rang. They should be put out with her on everything! The woman is a poor sport about it all. She refused to comment on it to one man because, as she put it, he was being “rude”! All I can say is that it takes one to know one.
In another get together they were saying a negative chant. She sat up on the stage floor moving her body with their rhythm, like she was oblivious to their negativity against her. Not long after that, when they were all yelling, she put on a phony Chick-Anno dialect and said, “Listen! Listen!….” Well, that did get people’s attention, but was it really effective? Maybe she was just trying to be a Breakfast Taco?
Here’s hoping she’ll lose in her next election!
BLIMPIES – by Wish I. Hadone
The recent times I have gone to a SUBWAYS’ sandwich shop I have not enjoyed their food. I remember back in the 70’s before SUBWAYS became all the rage that there was a sandwich shop near me that made the best hoagies or subs. But I could not remember their name. But then, I watched a very recent episode of The Food That Made America Fat on the History Channel. And they were talking about BLIMPIES. That was it; that was the place that I really loved so much. They made the best sandwiches, way better than any SUBWAYS’ sandwich I have ever had! It has been decades since I had a BLIMPIES.
Recently we got three foot longs from a SUBWAYS French fries shop. It was not a great experience, they over charged me without my knowledge too. During the TV episode they mentioned how the owners of SUBWAYS wanted people to smell their bread when they walked in the door. Well, do you know what I smelled the last two times I walked into the same SUBWAYS shop? CLOROX! That is what I smelled. I could not smell any delicious bread rising or baking! TOO BAD! Is it my imagination or did SUBWAYS’ bread taste better when it had yoga mat chemicals in it? And why is it they never seem to have any ripe tomatoes?
Also on the show, the one man talked to a friend who was about to go to college. If he worked at the sandwich shop he could work the business to make money for college. Only the dude never did go to college, at least they never said that he did. Well, they became rich, so he did not really need to go to college.
GREG GUTFELT BECOMES FATHER – by Evil Shannon Beam
In October LOX News’ Greg Gutfelt became a proud papa of a bouncing baby puppy, a French Bull Dog to be precise. The puppy has salt and peppered hair just like his dad! Greg named the puppy Gus. The way Greg is with bodily fluids, bodily non-fluids and bathroom jokes, I’m surprised he did not name the dog Gas. Well, I suppose he can afford vet bills, but that is the main reason why I don’t want a pet. Besides, I do not like all the floating hair, and all the bodily fluids and bodily non-fluids.
Gihon Goose 