Dear Diary,
I so want to be the new President in 2020! Sure, I am a communist, but then so are most of the other Dummycrats running in the race. I am a Rhode’s Scholar and that means I am a communist! So, I am all for the Green New Deal.
As I have often told you many times before, I am a homosexual. All homosexuals should keep sex in the home! Just a little joke I made up, because it seems like it should have something to do with homes, not Sherlock Holmes. I use to get along just fine with Vice President Mike Tense. But now that I am running for President I need to make him look bad, after all, he is a Republican (not a socialist). I have said some nasty things about the Vice President as of late, none of which are true, they are just communistic propaganda methods that I must use against my competition in 2020. It is nothing personal.
I recently told people that God would have never chosen President Trumpet to be President. But that is just another lie I fed to the public. After all, I have heard that God is no respecter of persons.
So why should people vote for me over some other communist, like Senator Burnie Sanders? Because I am a much younger dude! Plus, I’m a homosexual. It is time for a homosexual (who is actually out of the closet) to be head of this country! It is my right! Forget the women in the race. Plus, I want my husband to be the First Gentleman! He’s so cute!!!
Why should everyone vote for me over old Vice President Joe Biden-his-time? Well, because, Mr. Joe is going to be caught up in a scandal with the Ukrainians and Chinese (threats and bribery over his son). Yeah, he is going to be shown to be no good. Plus, I am pretty sure that he knew all about the, approved by his boss, deep state attempt to spy on the Trumpet campaign and all the other stuff involved with the Russian Hoax. But maybe the Dummycrats want someone like Joe to be in office because they think he is the only one capable of beating up President Trumpet (behind the school gym)!
Camel-la-la Harris is a pretty good contender, after all, she is black and she is a woman. But if the American people want a woman, I’m willing to put on a dress for them. Camel-la-la thinks that she took on Attorney General Good-Barr during the question session she had with him. She thinks that she won! Please, that was a terrible display of showmanship; or should I say, “show-woman-ship”? She expected Good-Barr to read all the thousands of pages of documents given to him by Mule-er and his donkey team by the time they asked him to come to their House of Concrete? It took over two years for them to compile all of that material. She would have never gotten through all that material herself. She and good ol’ Joe want to give free medicare to all the illegal aliens, I mean, all the immigrants. That would break our national piggy bank, which is exactly what we communists want to happen! So good work you two!
Corry “Sparkleless” Booker T. Washington is a black man, also with Congress, and he is having a hard time with his campaign. He too is a Rhode’s Scholar (communist)! He too is leaning too far to the Left, just as Camel-la-la is. But that is the in thing, just like me, I lean too far to the Left!
Then there is Beto O’Dork. Dude, we’re not interested in seeing you getting your ear hair cut!!! He needs to take some A. D. D. medication! Either that or cut down on the shrooms! Finally, Denver, Coloradodo, legalized the things, they are my kind of town (sanctuary). The Pot-Heads really fell for that one, legalizing mushrooms! And speaking of Denver, two Dummycrats from that place are running as my competition. There’s Governor Hoopinloopy and Mike Bent. Bent’s anti-gun thing went badly after the school shooting in his state. He was up in front of the people at the vigil, and loads of them walked out and then yelled “mental illness” (or was it “mental health”?). I don’t recall. Anyway, they stood up to the leftists. That must have been very embarrassing for Bent.
Poky-haunts-us Liz Warren has not made too much progress in the race. Of course, she is all for the communist programs and agenda. But who isn’t on the Left?
Don’t you just love the way the Donkeys are fighting to get President Trumpet out of office – to de-legitimatize the 2016 election? They are going after A. G. Good-Barr too. They are using the weaponized Muel-er Report to do it, which is exactly what Muel-er and his team of Dummycrat Lawyers planned all along. Good-Barr was stupid. Instead of telling Congress, during his confirmation hearing, that he would release the Muel-er Report, he could have simply said, “It is not my duty to release the report when I get it, it is my job to only present its findings.” Or he could have said, “I will only release the report if there has been a crime committed.” But he fell for our trick hook, line, and sinker – he fell for it because he wanted to get the job. We knew there was no crime, but we fooled him into releasing the report anyway! The Muel-er Report is a smear job on Trumpet, his family, and his people. It leaves out exculpatory evidence (loads of it)! So, thank you Mr. Good-Barr for releasing the Mule-er Report!
Should Dummycrats be afraid of what Good-Barr may look into? Heck, no. They will never prosecute any of us for anything that we may have done illegally! They are all too nice – or too GOOD to get us behind bars, even if his name is Good-Barr! They could have taken down Hillary Rotten Clinton years ago, but they did not want to do that. They ARE Kentucky Fried Chickens!
Did you see or hear about Alexandria Occasionally Cortex not knowing what a garbage disposal was or if it was “green”? Where has she been all her life that she does not know what a garbage disposal is? Maybe she has no idea what a hot water heater is either? She claims she does not know what a garbage disposal does, but the name tells you what it does – it disposes your garbage (as in food items)! Just so she knows, “Alexandria, a hot water heater heats up your cold water to where it is hot in order to give you warm and hot water so you can take baths or showers and do your laundry and dishes!” She is probably one of those people who puts their clothes in the dishwasher and their dishes in the washing machine.
So this is really funny. She now claims that her statement that because of climate change we all are going to die in twelve years was her telling a joke! She was serious about it at the time, she just did not want to look bad when the scientists told her she is wrong. And Beto O’Dork also has said the same exact thing, following her lead! The whole thing is stupid! A. O. C. is stupid, so is O’Dork!
Dear Diary, below is a selfie I took of myself while looking in the mirror (after parting my hair on the opposite side – just to mess with people), that I gave to my campaign people to put on a poster. (Talk about run-on sentences!) It looks like me as how I always see myself when I look into the mirror to see this precious mug of mine! President Trumpet says that I look like Alfred E. Neuman of Madd Magazine. I do not see the resemblance myself! Maybe The Gigolo Gander could put my portrait in their rag?
I sure hope that one of us communist dummycrats win the 2020 election, I hope it is me. But if not, it better be Mr. B. S., because he is a true communist (he is my hero). He honeymooned in Russia. He has been seen in a video where he is sitting around with Russians and he is shirtless! I wonder what that was all about? However, he did not turn me on. Dude, keep your shirt on. It also would not hurt him to brush or comb his hair once in a while! No wonder President Trumpet calls him “Crazy Burnie!” Those young children who were on his old TV show were right, he does resemble Doc in the Back to the Future movies.
I have not mentioned Chill Gillabrand (what a cold fish) yet. She is such a phony, she should be named Flipper, but that would be an insult to the bottlenosed dolphin. I do not see her getting very far in the race. That was funny when she was at some restaurant bar talking to people and the one woman was wanting to get some Ranch dressing. Then she uses what the woman said to her and plasters it on some t-shirt and dons it while lifting weights in a gym! I would fire my campaign manager if he let me do something like that!
Guess who just got into the race? Mayor Bill De-goat Blah-blah-blahsio. Can you believe he decided to run? He and his wife are Marxists. The majority of New York City citizens do not want their mayor to run for President. I can’t blame them, after all, he has run the city into the ground, he has provided America with a real good example of socialism, that’s for sure! I only hope that I can aspire to such grand results as he has reached. What can you make skyscrapers out of if you do not use glass and iron like he plans for his city? Maybe that is why he wants out of his mayor duties, because he is worried he cannot make skyscrapers unless he does use glass and iron?
I think I did a pretty good job on the FOX News Town Hall Meeting on May 19th. I did a pretty good job of hiding some communist programs I want to implement if I get elected. People are stupid though. Like when I was talking about getting rid of the electoral college because our country is a democratic country and everybody’s voice should count. I never tell people that the U.S.A. is a Republic, because a Republic is different than democratic rule. You don’t want anyone to catch on to what you are really doing though. Nobody in the audience even objected to my claim in regards to being a democracy! Chris Wallet did not even say anything, I think he likes me. And none of them got upset when I lied about President Trumpet and I said horrible things about him! I also slammed Fox News in general, even though I am a closet viewer, because they are the only news network that provides anyone with real news. (Mum’s the word.) My secret apologies to Tucker Cardson, Sean Hamity, and a-Lurring Ingram for what I said about them. I really like all of them, just like I really like Vice President Tense. Hamity’s show has been spot on for three years about President Trumpet and the Dummycrat’s witchhunt. That is why my Party has to lie about him, and the others, and accuse them of not telling the truth. Rule number one of communist propaganda – accuse everyone else of doing what you are actually doing!
Well, I will log off for now, Dear Diary.
Love, Peter Paul (cause sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t!)
Gihon Goose 