Idioter: Gigolo Joe Edition: May Flowers in water
Ass. Idioter: Amanda Jean Turncoat
WORD OF THE MONTH – by Wordy Smith
The word of the month is “shellacking”. Shellacking means, “1 : to coat or otherwise treat with shellac or a shellac varnish 2 : to defeat decisively” (Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary). Shellac is made from lac, “a resinous substance secreted by a scale insect” (Ibid). Yuk! But nature does what nature does and shellac varnish does make things look “shinny”! But I may never touch a varnished product ever again! But what I am most interested in is the second definition in regards to the upcoming election (see below).
BIDEN STINKS, I MEAN, SINKS – by Steve Marriott
Like the Titanic sank (which I am sure was shellacked before going out to sea), after hitting an ice burg head of lettuce, so is Joe Biden sinking in his approval ratings.
This is no laughing matter for the Biden Administration or for the Dummycrat Party. They are very worried about the 2022 fall election. They keep saying that they are going to take a shellacking in November.
Why would the Dummycrats take a shellacking? Well, it is simply because they are not doing anything productive, everything they do is destructive, and the U. S. A. citizens are aware of this. Biden, the worst man to ever inhabit the White House, has failed the United States of America by opening up the southern border (and in May Title 42 goes away) and by killing the Keystone oil pipeline on his first (illegal) day in office. Our economy has tanked (not in an oil tank but as in a Titanic tank), we pay more and more for food and supplies every week. Anyone who makes weekly trips to the grocery store is well aware of this fact, and it began before the war broke out in a rash between Russian and Uke-rang. Gasoline prices have soared since January 20, 2021 – and it is all on Biden’s head (even if there is nothing of much inside the man’s head). The man is a walking disaster area in all foreign policies and methods, especially the way he handled pulling out of Afghanistan (when people really began to disapprove of him). At this time Russia, who is at war with Uke-rang, is making more money (even though they were supposedly sanctioned) than the Americans are. Wow!
Joe is also compromised because of all the business deals and money deals that his son, Hunted, has been mixed up in, along with Biden’s brother Jim. People are slowly waking up to how bad Biden really is, even though, we here at the Gander knew before the election took place how bad he was and how crooked he was. But people were fed so much hate for President Trumpet during his four years in office, that people blamed him for everything bad in their lives, even though it was all caused by the Dummycrats and the mainstream media, so they voted for Biden because of their hate for Trumpet.
The following are more poles on Biden’s disapproval ratings and other stuff:
The question that should be asked is this, who are those low percentages of people still approving of Joe Biden and his job performance? Who are the quacks? They must be the Marxist press, or those who listen only to the Marxist press, or those who are so oblivious to stuff (licking lizards, eating magic shrooms, smoking dope, etc.) that they do not know what is really taking place in the world today!
ELON MUSK BUYS TWITTER – by Avon Collins
Why would Elon Musk, healthy billionaire, want to buy the communist Twitter feed company for $43 billion dollars? Has the man gone nuts? No, he is still sane, but the Left now hates the dude, even though billionaire Jeff Bozo bought the Washington PO-little-newspaper. They did not call Bozo lots of stupid clown names! Max Sized Boot, employee of Bozo’s newspaper, wrote not-so-nice things about Musk’s scent and his attempt to purchase Twitter. People like Boot want to give the boot to conservatives on sites like Twitter. Look at what they did to President Trumpet in January 2021 after the Nancy and FBI’s planned January 6th riot took place? They cancelled him and he still is not allowed to twitter his brains out on the site. Also, the satirical site called Babylon Bee has lost their voice on Twitter. I guess they just stung Jack and his ilk too much.
Remember, Twitter was part of the cover up during the fall of 2020 – about Hunted Biden’s lap dance, I mean, his laptop computer. They would not allow people to talk about the laptop at all. It was a taboo topic. Hunted’s laptop was only Russian propaganda they claimed (they lied). Free speech, among conservatives and Republicans (or anyone else speaking the actual truth), is what Twitter classifies as “hate speech”. And if you do not use their brand of “free speech” then you are not free to speak up on your topic. This, my friends, is called COMMUNISM and FASCISM!!!
Musk did purchase Twitter on April 25, 2022. LOX News’ Tuckered Out Carlson’s Twitter account has been restored. Even President Trumpet will probably be able to return, however, it sounds as if President Trumpet is not interested in twittering anymore. Thank you to Elon Musk! That Musk smell gets to me every time, yum!
Today’s Zodiac – by Astral Projection
If you were born in the last portion of the month of May and in the first half (well up to the 23rd or so) of June, then you are a Gemini, or a twin.
Gemini is an air sign and also a sign of mentality; its keynote (B flat) is equilibrium, baby! Though Gemini suggests duality, the twins remain together as one. This actually makes since if you take Gemini as being the human Second Degree and divine Third Degree coincidence (this is good); but, if it is the immoral First Degree and the human Second Degree in coincidence with each other, that is not so great of a thing.
The thing is that the Gemini twins were not really brothers, they both had different parents, but Zeus put them both up into the heavens as Gemini, because one of them asked him to do so. The two original twins of Gemini were brothers in spirit.
And now, for something completely different; … a man with three cans of Chef Boyardee.
Being that Gemini is now a type crypto currency, go out and spend your fool head off. Just remember, that if you really do not own any bitcoins, that you might put yourself in dept.
And now, for your serious fortune: Do not jump feet first into the swamp, there are gators and leaches in there, you know!
BATTY CRACKERS RECIPE
For all you Mexican food fans out there, here is my recipe for cheese enchiladas.
Put your hamburger in a flying saucer pan, put salt on it, enough Chile powder to taste; and add your onions. Cover meat with water and bring it to a boil, then cook for 30-45 minutes, we are not fussy about the time on it.
Once the meat is cooked then pour most of the meat-juice into a strainer sitting inside a frying pan. Make sure your heat on the stove is not too hot and not too cold, look for the Goldilocks position. Add your Velvety brand cheese. If you purchase it in small blocks then use two blocks. Melt the cheese.
Get a cake dish out and spray with PAM, It’s All About Pam, you know. Now, Rene Zilliwigger likes to drink those big Slurpee’s, so keep her drinks away from the food. Take a tortilla and slip it in and out of the meat-juice and put it on a plate. Then spoon enough hamburger mixture onto the tortilla and roll the tortilla up. Place it into the cake dish (I prefer the glass cake dishes). I sometimes spoon on more meat-juice on top of the enchiladas to help keep them moist in the oven and then I sprinkle shredded cheddar cheese on top. I put aluminum foil over the cake pan dish; if you want extra crunchy enchilladas then you probably can skip doing this the whole time they are baking. The enchiladas are placed in a preheated oven of 350 degrees. Bake them for thirty minutes. Do not be in too big of a rush to eat them or you may burn your boca. You can also put other things on top of them if you want to – like sour cream, guacamole, black olives, more shredded cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, etc.
FACT: Bruce Lee won the Hong Kong Cha-Cha Championship in 1958. No wonder Kato always danced circles around the Green Hornet.
FACT: When the head guy at the FBI Cyber unit testified in front of a Congress committee on March 29, 2022, he told them that they had misplaced Hunted Biden’s laptop! First it does not exist because it is just Russian propaganda and now it is lost? HUM….
DISNEY WORLD HAS GONE WOKE – by Miss Take
No longer will Disney World greet their guests with, “Hello, kings and queens, boys and girls” instead they will just say some type of generic greeting, like “Hello, all you crazy people out there!” This is all due to a warped sense of humor and a weird perception of reality. Okay, I admit, Disney is a company based upon fantasy, yet, they really fell into the Florida swamp, not far from Disney World itself!
Some of their film makers boast on line about putting gay scenes in the movies, or other types of stuff. To be honest, if I had small children today all Disney products would be banned in our household. I do not even want to see their new Buzzed Light Beer when it comes out.
What would happen to Pinocchio if it came out today?
After Disney’s head man, Bob Chafed, listened to the WOKE (1%) and came out against the Gender Fluidity Bill (that Ron DeSantis Clause, Florida’s governor, came out with in order to keep teachers from teaching children in Kindergarten through third grade about sex) Ron DeSantis Clause decided to stand up to Disney, on April 21, by taking away their special tax district privileges that they have had since 1967. What this step will do is to actually put Disney on an even level playing field with other theme parks like Sea World, Universal Studios, Lego Land (etc). Do you know that Disney World has been like its own miniature government where they could have their own rules and regulations? They even have the power to build their own nuclear factory if they wanted to. (Too bad they did not do it?) You have to wonder why Chafed is chaffed about the Florida bill (which he probably never even read) and not at communist China, the government who enslaves people.
According to Florida’s speaker of the house, Chris Sprawls Alloverdfloor, the people upset about Disney losing its special privilege are making up lies about the legislature. He said, “Nobody’s taxes are going to go up” because of the revoking of Disney’s tax privilege.
You Go Gov! I love Ron DeSantis Clause!
PSAKI LEAVING THE WHITE HOUSE? – by Notta Supreme-Asist
There are rumors floating around in the air, like a bunch of moths heading toward a car’s headlights, that Jen Psaki will soon be leaving her White House duties in order to work for MTNBC. Some think she is leaving because she does not want to have to lie, to the press and public, about Hunter Biden’s impending doom. I, for one, do not believe this. I think she is leaving because she will get better pay from the network. She has never had any problems fibbing since she began her current job! Remember how she fibbed about the horsemen Border Patrol whipping illegal aliens trying to cross into our country? These patrolmen, by the way, have been cleared of any wrong doing, yet the White House is going to put out a false report on the topic!
Jen Psaki said during a camera interview with crooked media’s “Pot Save America” that LOX News tells Peter Poochie what questions to ask her. This is, of course, another one of her blatant lies.
The next part of this story could be told by Crocodile Tears Dundee, however, he already has a story, so I will include this story here, as it has to do with Jen Psaki crying fake tears in an interview with News Not New, on a Tuesday (April 19th) Pot Cast. She was speaking about the new Florida bill that Ron DeSantis Clause put out called the Gender Fluidity Bill where there is to be no sexual education taught to children in K-3 grades! It has nothing to do with discrimination at all (like the Left claims). It is what Disney got all upset over (see above). Once more, like the head CEO of Disney, I doubt that Psaki ever read the Florida bill. If she did, she knows what is in it and makes what she said all that much worse!
“I’m going to get emotional about this,” she cries, “because, I just, it’s horrible!” Hey, she talks as well as her boss does! “But um, you know; it’s like kids who are bullied and it’s like all that leaders are taking steps to hurt them and hurt their lives, and hurt their families…” Excuse me? The Left happens to be the real bullies; Jen is one of the original high school mean girls! Yeah, she does remind me a little bit of Lindsey Lowhand! And just who are these so-called “leaders” that she is speaking about? She makes sure not to tell us. “…And you look at some of the laws in these states and this is going after parents who are in loving relationships, who have kids…” Yes, all parents have kids, Jen! I’m sorry, but the states are not going after the parents, it is your DOJ who has gone after the parents, like the dad whose daughter was raped by a boy pretending to be a girl in the girl’s bathroom – remember that Jen? Remember what Merrick Garlicland has done toward parents around this country! “…It’s completely outrageous. Sorry, I’m just – this is an issue that makes me completely crazy…” I’m glad she admits to us that she is actually bonkers! “…but, it is an issue that is a political wedge issue. It’s not a reflection of where the country is.” Where does she come up with her lies and her line of bull that one needs a shovel for? She is wrong, the country is at this point, they do not want (especially the parents who have loving relationships with their kids – not goats but children) public school teachers to brainwash their little innocent children and mix them up about their sex. Most kids from kindergarten to third grade do not even think about sex, or what sex they are. Why spoil their innocence, Jen? It is people like you who are being abusive toward the little ones!
I will tell you why she cares so much about this issue – she is a communist. Sex education is all a big part of Marxism. The Leftist Marxists want to destroy children sexually so that they can be more easily manipulated by the schools and the government. They want the children to be immoral, to be thinking about sex instead of math, English, science, etc. With this immorality they believe they can corrupt the children and turn them away from their spiritual nature, rip them away from their real parent – God (our Father-Mother God). It is a fact that Carl Marx was an atheist and that he worshipped the devil. Would not his followers take the same path that Marx did?
Chung Lee Confusion
It matters not what is your lot of land, so long as realtors guide you to the right spot. Otherwise, you may get lost. (Make sure it’s not swamp land.)
PERCENTAGES OUTNUMBER REAL FACTS – by Cindy Adding Machine
The mainstream media lies so often and misrepresent the facts that people have a skewed idea of percentages in our country (the good old U. S. of A.). The following is a chart I copied from Jessy Watters’ Primebeeftime, I hope he doesn’t sue me. I doubt he will because I am sure he got it from some other source, in fact, I know he did, I wrote the source’s name down but I cannot read my own hand writing! Ducks of Hazardous living I guess.
So as you can see in the chart directly above, people who watch ZNN and MTNBC, and other main news networks (run by the Left), have a skewed idea of the facts and of what is really going on. The annual average income earnings of the American citizen is below $500,000. So most people are not as rich as the democrats and Left-winged media pretends. But most of them (in Congress and Senate and other positions) are in that 1% group who make more than $500,000 per year (Dr. Tony D. Tiger Faust Ed Flake for example, boy, does he have a long name!). Also, I find that there are more than 3% gay people on TV shows today – way too much gay! Sorry, I’m just going by the statistics! Either that or else, Hollywood attracts gay people like moths to the car head lights.
An interesting side note…when the show Xena Warrior Princess began both Xena and Gabrielle were heterosexual women. But by the end of the series they had turned into lesbians. Yeah, sorry folks, I just don’t buy it.
FAME MOOSE QUOTES:
“A true friend is one who overlooks your ugliness and puts up with your bumbling.” – Doug Larceny
“The second you begin talking about what you will do if you lose, you have already lost.” – Sargent Shultz Beer
“Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all.” – President J. F. Kennedy
“Man is not the most extraordinary computer of all; I built the most extraordinary computer there is! – Bill Gates (He is so full of his processed vegie-meats; have you seen how big his gut is getting? Somebody call Dr. Atkins for him!).
“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.” – Lewis Carroll (He only thought this was true because he was on drugs when he said it.)
THE SOLUTION TO POLUTION – by Albert Ironstein
I’ve found the solution to air pollution and the energy crises. My solution works best in Washington Dot Com and most Democratic run cities. You see, I’ve invented an automobile that runs on bull caca! Another side effect with the car is that when you go for a drive in the country, the car keeps attacking cows.
Chung Lee Confusion Again
Lady who live with bull better have shovel ready.
Once upon a time there were two Chinese, now look how many there are!
Right Angle must be clever, because, it has ninety degrees.
Harry worshipped his wife, so he burned incense in her vestibule. (Think about it!)
SECRET SERVICE INFILTRATS JILL BIDEN – by Abe D. Fish (a G. Gutfelt family member)
That’s right; two men (who are not really secret service men at all) infiltrated Dr. Jill Biden. I mean, they snuck into her secret service team. How? That’s a great question nobody is willing to answer (yet)! These two men also had access to the White House and secret documents. The two men were finally exposed while skinny dipping with Joe Biden. FAI alleges the two men spent two years pretending to be secret service employees. A bust of Mozart, at their apartment, found some of the following items: guns, gas masks, tactical gear, drones, and other things. Their passports show that they have been to Iranhereandthere and other not so good places. If they are convicted, which they should be, they may get three years. Really, only three years?
NEW BOOKS YOU CAN NOW GET – by Wordy Smith
A new book by the “not-evil” Shannon Dreams of LOX News is out. It is called The Mothers and Daughters of the BIBLE Speak – Ruff, Ruff! I find it uplifting that she writes about Dinah, the lost daughter of Israel.
Douglas Murray has a new book called The War on the West.
Marc Morano’s book is called, The Green Fraud. It is about the Left’s claims that the world is going to end in 2032, because of climate change (which is okay with me because then I will not to need to worry about Medicare, not that there will be Medicare by then anyway since the SS is going bust). Do you know that there was a politician in 1864 claiming that the world would come to an end because of the weather? The Dummycrats just keep beating the same drum!
On August 5, 1969 the lie went out that by 1989 everyone would disappear in a cloud of blue steam. It never happened. Then in 1989 the lie went out that rising seas could obliterate the world by 2000. Again, nothing happened. And, of course, Alexa Occasionally Cortez, soon after getting into Congress, made the claim that in twelve to thirteen years the world would come to an end. It will if she gets her way with her Green New Steel! But it will be more like the end of the U.S.A. as a great country and great nation because the Dummycratic-communists will have ended it (just like Venezuela has fallen)!
Today, a big part of the Green fraud has to do with electric cars. Our country is not set up to handle electric cars. And companies that have to switch over to electric cars or deal in electric cars and charging stations will be so regulated that they will spend tons of money. Biden is now demanding that every vehicle used by the military is electric. I have yet to see an electric airplane or electric jet.
According to THE HILL (3/30/22), “The SEC’s own estimate indicates that the paperwork burden alone will cost companies $10.2 billion. But the real cost could be multiple times higher than that.” Regulations tie up construction projects and China is in control of the elements used in the batteries. You need to use coal and oil in order to produce electricity, so it turns out that electric cars are not really green after all.
NANCY PILLOWSEE’S X-STAFFER INVESTIGATES SON PAUL – by Hagen Das-Key – Wood eye lye too ewe?
Nancy Pillowsee’s son, Paul, is being investigated of business corruption, but Nancy made sure that Joe Biden appointed someone new to be in charge of that investigation, that’s right, Joe appointed Nancy’s x-staffer to do P. P.’s business probe investigation. How did Nancy pay Joe back for doing her this service? She kissed him after she came down with the coronavirust! Maybe she’s out to get his job after all?
Chung Lee Confusion again
The Leftist’s point of view is never the RIGHT point of view! For example, they want you to believe that white people make the most money in the United States of America because they want you to believe that white supremacy is a real thing.
WINDMILLS OF MY MIND – by Donkey Hote
Round like a circle in a spiral like a wheel within a wheel, never ending or beginning on a nauseous Farris wheel. Like the circles that you find in the windmills of my mind! But what mind is it that goes round and round? Is it enough to power enough electricity for the world? Or are the windmills being used to generate electricity just the enemy that I, Donkey Hote, must defeat, defang, and de-neuter? For I am I, Donkey Hote, the man of La Manga, my destiny calls and I go to Japan!
OBUMMER LIES – by Hugh Who Guy
EX-president Obummer, Mr. B. O., was speaking at California’s Stanford College on April 21, 2022. The topic was “MISS N. FORMATION”. Why he wanted to talk about this darling woman is beyond me, however, he was telling the crowd terrible lies and giving out misinformation to the crowd. OH, wait a minute, Miss N. Formation – misinformation – my bad. I guess he was talking about how the conservatives always spew forth misinformation about stuff when it is really the Left that does that. The Left does nothing but put forth propaganda (just how their leaders Carl Marx and Adolf Hitler taught them).
Yet, Obummer is unwilling to tell you the real truth about himself! He lies every day to people. How does he lie? Well, he has not as yet come out of the closet! That’s right, the man may be married to a butch woman; however, he loves to play around with men.
The Left just needs to look backward to 2016 to see what type of liars they are, especially Hillary Rotten Clinton. According to a Rashmussen Report, taken on the same day as Obummer’s speech to Stanford, 72% of Dummycrats believe it is likely that the 2016 election outcome was changed by Russian interference. Remember how, in 2020, they claimed that Hunted Biden’s laptop was Russian misinformation and that the Russians were once more trying to interfere with the U.S.A. presidential election? THEY LIED!!! I wonder how many of those same people, in the poll, actually believe that Joe Biden won the 2020 election legally and fair square. I wonder how many of those same people actually believe that January 6 was actually an insurrection when it was not even close to being an insurrection. And it if really was an insurrection it was masterminded by the Leftists. I wonder how many of those people would be interested in some swamp land I know to be for sale down near Disney World.
But like January 6, 2020, when all the Dummycrats overreacted to everything, on April 20, 2022 they once more believed that their Capitol was under attack when an airplane began to buzz their air space. Then men were seen in the sky jumping from the plane. When I first heard about this story, I thought it may have actually been a plane from Texas or Florida with illegal aliens being thrown out over Washingaton of Clothes, but NO! The men jumping out of the plane were Golden Knights of Mambrino. They parachuted so that they would land at the nearby stadium. Crisis averted, hey, Nancy?
Oh, one more thing about Obummer’s speech. There was not one time that he mentioned Joe Biden’s name! No surprise there.
WHY DO THEY WANT TO GET RID OF TITLE 42? – by Noah Comprendo
Why do the Donkey-crats want to get rid of Title 42 on the southern border? It is because they are STUPID! But also, it is because they want even more people to illegally come into this country, unless they are from Uke-rang (white people). Title 42 is supposed to end on May 23, 2022 and the illegal aliens know it, and they are getting ready for it.
The governor of Texas, Hey Abbott, says that he is sending a bunch of the illegals to Washington Dot Com. It is about time, he should have started doing this in February 2021! And Florida’s governor, Ron DeSantis-Clause, is sending them to Biden’s home town in Mary-Land. Again, it’s a little too late. But maybe, Biden will get the picture, as to what he has been doing for over a year to this country!? We can only hope. I say, to put them all in an airplane, fly it right over Biden’s house, and push the aliens out of the plane (with parachutes of course).
Recently, when a reporter asked Biden about Title 42 he got it mixed up with the mask mandates – so we really do not know what he meant any more than he knows what he meant! Maybe he does not even know that Title 42 has to do with the southern border while the mask mandate issue has to do with public transportation? Either way, the illegals get away (quite literally) with murder.
EL TAYLOR LOZENGE– by Crocodile Tears Dundee
Taylor Lozenge is with the WASHINGTON POO, and she is a Twitter-head. She recently wrote about former English teacher in Oklahoma, Tylor Wrynn’s, repost found on Libs of TikTok. In the original post and the repost, Tylor was telling LGBTQRUOKO kids (who she claims have been shunned by their parents) that she (Wrynn) was proud of them and loved them…Since being featured on the page (with the exact post she posted herself, but the repost of the same post is a trouble maker for her) Lozenge complains that Wrynn has been barraged with harassment and death threats.
What happens is this, Liberals post things on communist China’s TikTok for kid’s eyes only. They do not like adults to know what they are telling the children. So Libs of TickTok have been reposting Liberal posts so that the parents can know what is being said to their children. This, of course, is not okay with the Left Libs, because they want what they say to the children to be not known by their parents. Even though parents could just as easily go onto TikTok and see the original posts (as Shakespeare would say, “Much ado about nothing”). And this is why Lozenge is really upset and saying that Tylor Wrynn is in trouble (being attacked).
What is ironic about Lozenge, is that she goes on Twitter and bad mouths everybody, and she gives everybody grief! She DOXES people! Then she appears on an MTNBC interview and cries about the same things that are happening to the people in the reposts are happening to her! She complains that her life is now in danger and that she receives death threats, and it’s just not fair! Talk about the black pot calling the kettle black. It reminds me of an old phrase – Don’t stand in the kitchen if you can’t stand the heat! Maybe Lozenge should begin to live by the Golden Rule – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”?
SWIMMING ACROSS THE BORDER – by Mae Winn
Besides illegals swarming across the southern border, they now are taking swimming lessons in order to swim into America! These classes were reported on by Hispanic TV – Univision (which means “one vision” – which is communistic vision). I do agree that all people crossing the Rio Grande need to take swimming lessons, if they do perhaps our good men will not drown trying to save their asses and donkeys lives!
In March 2022 at least 80,000 aliens were released in this country. This doesn’t even count the people who got away (crossed the border without being caught). It is a fact that more illegals have died under Biden than Trumpet (and Trumpet had four years compared to Biden’s 1 year and three months).
Also, if coronavirust is not a concern on the border, because of Title 42 coming to an end in May, then why are they (the Leftist Marxists) so concerned about coronavirust on public transportation? Why did Biden and crew get so angry about one Trumpet appointed judge who made it oh-key-doe-key (finally again) to not wear masks on public transports? They got mad because they saw themselves losing power and control over U. S. citizens! The communist press claims that District Judge Kathryn Gumball is too young, and has no experience in the courtroom. They complained that this one woman does not have the power to do what she did and to go against their precious CDC! Yet other judges, who make rulings on their own side of the line, are okay with those judge’s decisions and they never complain about those decisions. They want to appeal her decision. They really hate Judge Kissin’ Kate, because, Trumpet appointed her.
DR. FAUST BETTER WATCH OUT – by Inda Kit Chen
Dr. Faust had better be on guard if the Republicans win the 2022 election this fall. He may actually have to go to jail, but then, nobody on the Left ever seems to get punished for anything (there are too many leftist Republicans [RINOS]. People like Hilariously Rotten Clinton, Joe Biden, K. Harris, Corry Spartacus Booker, Liz Warren-Batty, the squad, Mr. B. S., Nancy P., Up-Chuck Shoemer, Adam Schifty, Jerry Needler, Eric Swelledhead, etc., seem to get away with everything they do.
A MAJOR PAIN IN THE… – by Jonathan Togo
You may remember how the Biden’s dog Major went around biting people in 2021. These attacks by the dog were down played. However, it turns out that the secret is out on the incidents in the Secret Service reports. Major took out a good chunk of meat from one of the agent’s legs. I have seen many injuries like this during my days in M*I*A*M*I-in-Miami?
HAUNTED HUNTED DJ KOKO – by Emma Skew Lenity
An Arizona DJ was under fire for wearing blackface to a school fund raiser in Scottsdale. It sounds serious until you find out that the DJ, Koko Kim Hunted, was not wearing blackface at all, because, he actually is a black man!
An e-mail from the Scottsdale parent council read: “They [Hunted’s group] were allowed to remain on Campus and deejay for the entire event in blackface without any rebuttal by those in charge. I am sure that the historical context of blackface is something you are familiar with in the year 2022…and yet in spite of the continual outcry – it continues to happen.”
I guess it continues to happen because black people just cannot turn their faces white! The only thing I could figure out is the complainers may have thought the man was wearing blackface because he was dressed in 1970’s disco clothes, had an afro wig on, and was wearing sunglasses. Still, they should have done some investigation instead of just doing assumptions, as when you assume anything you make an ASS out of U, but not ME, only U.
FENTANYL DRUGS POOR INTO USA – by Regis Mortes
China, the worst country in the world (way worse than Russia even), is sending fentanyl to Mexico, then the Mexican cartels make sure the drugs (disguised as fake prescription drugs) are smuggled across the border and into the USA. They then take these drugs to major big cities throughout the country and sell them. Often people are overdosing and dying with just one pill. Talk about killing your customers and having no ongoing business with them. More people die from fentanyl than they do from the coronavirust – why isn’t the Biden administration doing anything about this? It is because the administration does not want to do anything about the drug problem. These cartels are taking over our cities. These gangsters are like the mafia, but they are even worse, because, they are cannibals and they worship demons. And yet, Biden is perfectly happy getting into bed with them.
STAR TREK DISCOVERY’S PRESIDENT ABRAMS NOW A MILLIONAIR – by Devin N. Starr
After Stacy Abrams lost the 2016 goober pea race in Georgiapeach, Abrams was a half million dollars in debt. Today she has around three million dollars! Where did she get that kind of dough from? I doubt that Ms. Montgomeryward is that lucrative of a sexual fantasy novelist writer. Her money has probably come from all those expensive lectures she is asked to give ($50-$100 thousand per speech). Who knows? Perhaps the IRS should look into her? I think the IRS would look into her, but when they do look into her face they turn around and run.
EMPIRE STATE – by Gigolo Joe
Liam Needsome Hainsmakesitworthit Hunky (looking different than his brother Christ does, you know, the Thor but not Angry dude) and Dwayne D. Bathtub Johnson, the Rock, are in this B movie. Liam’s character is the son of a retired policeman, who works as a janitor in a joint run by a mobster, until his son, Chis, messes that up and his dad gets fired. (I do think it is funny that Liam is playing a character with his brother’s name! When the name Chris was called out on set did Liam look around for his brother?)
Chris wants to be a cop like his dad use to be, but his friend messed that up for him (years before), because his friend is no good. This is the hard question, if a friend messes up your life why remain friends with the jerk, especially when they really are a jerk (and brain dead from birth)?
Chris becomes an armored truck guard, but on his first day he finds out that the place he works for is so seedy that lots of plants are popping up all over the place. This story is supposed to be based on a real life story, it is supposed to take place in the (I believe) 1970s, and it is supposed to take place in New York City when Rudy Jewelianny is District Athorney. Dewey Johnson plays a cop.
What is really weird about the movie (maybe this is what it really is like but I do not know it) and what makes no sense to me at all, is that the security company stores all the money they collect from places and stores in their building (with bad security). Why are they keeping millions of dollars at their place and not taking it to banks? This money just sits there? How can the businesses using their service make any money this way? How can they get to their money if they need it; and what about their businesses being able to collect interest on their profits? So this makes no sense to me at all. It might be different if the money was just there as a pit stop, but it sat there months on end, perhaps even years on end. So what was the point of this Empire State business?
On Chris’s second day on the job these two masked men that drive around in a blue van throw a bomb under the armored truck. They shoot Chris and his partner, his partner struggles for the gun and gets shot a few more times and he dies (he has a wife and daughter). Chris had a bullet proof vest on so he survives being shot at. Later on he finds out that the security company is going to only give 10% of what they should to his ex-partner’s widow and child, so he steels a bag of money and gives most of it to his ex-partner’s family. His big mistake is he shares some of the stolen money with his criminal friend.
Chris’s stupid friend has a big mouth and he wants in on the action – why he deserves the money, like it is his! (I guess that is the crook mentality.) Chris decides to go all in and let his friend and two other men help him. These two other men work for the mobster that fired his father. These two men are not supposed to tell their boss about what they are going to do. One of the two men is smart and bows out. He promises to keep his mouth shut, but he is not going to have anything to do with the robbery. Out of the four men, this man is actually the smartest one!
On the night of their planed robbery the two men wait at a public phone booth for Chris’s call. Remember the two men with the blue van? They decide to hit the Empire State Security company that very same night. Yet, the police show up before the men in the blue van do. The police got a tip, from where and who was not made clear. So Chris calls his friend to tell him that the police are present, not to show up. However, the other man thinks that his co-worker-friend blabbed to their boss so he hunts him down and shoots him, leaving him for dead. Yet, you never hear any news about him being dead, so you wonder why that is?
While the blue van men try to rob the security place there is a big shoot out and Chris saves the Rock’s life. After all of this goes down, Chris decides that robbing the place is probably not a good idea; however, his friend will not let it go. He wants to get in on a big drug deal with these Columbians and needs the money. To be honest, I would rather have the money than have to become a drug dealer! But, like I said, this guy is brain dead, probably from birth! So Chris’s friend breaks through Empire’s roof and falls into the place. Being stupid, Chris allows his friend to take the money. His lousy friend has a gun with him, why he thought he needed one I cannot say. When he enters the money room the German shepherd guard dog begins to bark, the gun is fired. But it turns out, he did not put the dog out of his misery, he missed hitting the dog and the dog just fainted. I guess the pooch was not use to such excitement! To be honest I really felt sorry for the dog, he was held captive in this money room all day long; did anyone ever walk him? Who fed the dog? How did the dog relieve himself? They never showed it. The lousy friend also hit Chris on the head with his gun knocking Chris out.
Later on, the next day I suppose, his friend gave Chris half the money. Where did Chris put his share of the money? He put it inside a garden statue that he gave his mom, which was back at the beginning of the movie. They played with the time line a little bit. In real life the police supposedly never did find the money. Chris was arrested, along with his friend. Chris’s dad also was arrested, but probably not held for long, as he only shot the friend (now wanting Chris’s share of the money) because he was pointing a gun at Chris.
Okay, so I have to backtrack a little. Why would he now want Chris’s share of the money?
Remember that man who was shot by his co-worker? Well, he did not die, and he went to his boss and told his boss what had happened, so the boss now felt like the stolen money belonged to him. What is it about crook mentality? So he clued in the Columbians about it, and the Columbians killed the third man, kept the friend’s 4 million dollars along with the drugs. The friend escaped to drive straight to Chris while police sirens headed to the motel where they were transacting the drug deal at. I guess somebody reported the gun shots to the cops? If so, that was a fast reaction by the police.
Well, all in all, this was not the best movie in the world but not the worst either. I would just say that people who commit crimes are really stupid, and these movies based on real life stories prove the fact that people who commit crimes are stupid! So obey God’s Commandment that tells us, “Thou shalt not steal!” If you don’t obey the Commandment, what can I say except that you are stupid!
ZNN LAUNCHES NEW FRENCH FRIES – by R. U. Kidding
On March 30, 2022, ZNN started up a new branch of their floundering network. It is a streaming down the river service and is called ZNN- (ZNN negative). Their first day has come and gone and their numbers tanked, or took a shellacking. The company used over $300 mill to prepare ZNN- for public consumption and another $100 mill in promoting the website.
Brian Seltzer, ZNN’s Pillsbury Doe Boy, invited a male and female (Can I use those pronouns today?) reporters onto his show. These two reporters use to work for ZNN and were on the air 20 years ago. The interview did not exactly go as Seltzer had hoped. When Seltzer asked them if they still watched ZNN every night they said, “Yes, but we cry every time we do, because the network, well, the old grey mare, she ain’t what she used to be!” The man said, “I use to anchor at ZNN, now I just yell at ZNN.” They even said that they hoped the network would improve under new management! The new CEO happens to be Chris Licht Einstein.
ZNN, believing that they are better than LOX News, tried to copy their rival news network; they actually thought that people would pay money to watch ZNN-, boy, were they delusional, because, ZNN- lasted only one month before it was killed.
“Brian Seltzer doesn’t like two sides to a story; he only likes two sides at KFC.” – Greg Gutfelt!
THIS GIGALO GANDER HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY — ZNN, THE MOST BUSTED NAME IN NEWS!!!
Gihon Goose 