GIGOLO GANDER – October 2023

BATTY MASTERSON – Dead Man’s Blame – by Amanda Jean Turncoat

            The narrator Bill Baldwin, no relation to today’s Baldwin brothers, unless he is their father which could be, but who knows (?), then again, he could be Adam Baldwin’s dad too, and that is quite possible, but doubtful, we here at the Gander prefer Adam to the others (he’s way more handsome – and oh, what mussels he has!)  The Bill Baldwin I use to know was a soloist at our church.  He was no relation to any of the acting Baldwin families, but he sure could belt out a song.  Anyway, I digress.   Bill Baldwin said, “The mining area around Monumental City, Nevadada is where thousands answered natures call, I mean, siren’s call of a silver strike.  The new diggings and re-worked tunnels were offering fortunes by the spades full if you were lucky.  Sometimes only a grave if you were not lucky.  Puss N. Boots had already lived eight of his nine lives so he was just about out of luck.  He had to go search for a fallen star.  But that’s another show entirely. 

            “Returning to the revitalized ghost town to roll the dice with lady luck and sing songs with Frank Sinatra, was Batty Masterson, the man who became a legend in his own mind.”

            Batty Masterson rode into town on his pal-o-mine-o horse.  He headed directly for the Ass-Say-Or’s Office.  There was a line a mile long heading into the office, okay, it was not really a mile long, but you get the drift.

            “Pardon me,” Batty said to the men, “I’m not trying to cut in line.  I just want to say hello to a friend of mine.  Hello, Vermin Elwood.”

            “Batty Masterson, how are you?  It’s been a long time since you were here.”

            “Four years to be exact.  It was before I even got my own TV show that is named after me!”

            “I’m sorry, Batty,” Vermin asked, “but what’s a TV show?”

            “About thirty minutes long.”  Batty smiled.

            “I don’t get it.”

            Batty said, “Perhaps you have bad reception in this area?”

            Vermin seemed to be concerned, “Hey, Batty, you had better go out and check your claim that you made four years ago.  There are some people who are willing to move magic markers and make false claims, like Joke Biden.”

            “Thanks for the warning, Vermin.”

            A man that had been at the front of the line was getting perturbed at Batty.  “Mister, I don’t care who you are, but you need to go to the back of the line!”

            Batty said, “I don’t think so!”  The man pulled out his six-shooter and pointed it at Batty.  “Wow, hey, okay, don’t get all bent out of shape.”  He headed for the door then made a hundred and eighty-degree turn and used his bat to knock the gun out of the man’s hand.  Then he made another hundred and eighty-degree turn and headed for the door.  Batty got on his pal-o-mine-o and rode out to his claim.  After he got there he found two ornery men who had moved his stakes.  Batty was not happy because he planed on eating them for dinner. 

            The two men were named appropriately, the hefty guy was Harvey Masonjar and the thinner man was Clay Adamah.

            “Hey, you guys!” Batty exclaimed, “That’s my claim, I made it four years ago.  You can ask the Ass-Say-Or Vermin Elwood about it in town if you don’t believe me.”

            “Yeah?  Well, we don’t believe you, this is our claim,” Harvey said.

            Another man approached, “Batty Masterson, it is you!  Hey, it’s good to see you again.  What’s it been four years?”

            Batty said, “Yes, it has.  It was before I had my own TV show.”

            “What does a TV show have?”

            “Plenty of commercials!  It’s good to see you again, Judd.”

            Adamah said, “You better get out of here, because this is our claim and it’s two against one.”

            Judd said, “No, this is not your claim, this is Batty’s claim.  He made it four years ago!  I was there.”  The two claim jumpers jumped back and left the scene.

            Later, back in town, Batty and Judd went to Judd’s hotel.  Elkin’s Inn was a nice place. It had a back door, a front desk, a coat closet, a couch for lounging on, and a stairway to heavenly bliss – Judd’s niece.  In fact, she came waltzing down the stairs, “One, two, three, one, two, three!”  Batty could not believe his eyes; The Girl from U.N.C.L.E. was all grown up.  Well, I’ll be a monkey’s U.N.C.L.E.” Batty said.

            She said, “Batty Masterson, you finally came back!  It’s sooooo good to see you!  You like-y what you see?”

            “I sure do!”

            A few minutes later Batty and the Girl from U.N.C.L.E. (her name is Ann Elkins but her real name is Steponthe Powerbutton) got into a wagon to head out to his claim.  Judd was asleep on his couch when the two claim jumpers from earlier showed up.  “Hey, Gus,” Adamah said, “We’ve come to apologize to you.  We were out of line and fishing bate.  How about we go buy you a drink.”

            “Well, I really,….”

            “Great, come on!” Masonjar exclaimed.

            Out on the road, from the wagon, Batty and Ann noticed smoke rising from the town.  He turned the wagon around and headed back toward Monumental City.  When the couple arrived in town they saw that it was the Ass-Say-Or’s office that was burning.  Vermin was not inside, but Judd, Judd for the defense, was.  Batty heroically ventured in and brought out Judd’s body.  He was dead.  But a mysterious wound to the head was in evidence lockup – and they had to get it released before they could take it to court.

            The Girl from U.N.C.L.E. was upset that her U.N.C.L.E. was now dead.  “Who do you think did this, Batty?”

            “I think I know.  I have a plan to draw the culprits out into the open.”  He pulled out a blueprint diagramming his plan.

            “Wow,” Ann said, “You’re fast at the draw!”

            “My old six-shooter’s just a achin’ to spout!”

            In the town saloon Batty approached the bartender working at the tender bar.  He let it leak that under pretense Vernon was going to take Judd’s body to another town in order to turn in the original claims, as they had not been burned up in the fire, a lucky break for all claim holders.  Then Batty left the tender bar.  The bartender went over to a few men and told them what Batty had told him.  “But I know nothing more, and I’m not going to say another word about anything!” 

            Harvey and Clay were sitting at a table near the tender bar and overheard everything.  Then the Girl from U.N.C.L.E. walked out from a back door and went to the bartender at the tender bar, “In the morning, Vermin is taking my U.N.C.L.E.’s body with him in a hearse.”  Again, Clay and Harvey overheard, so they planned an ambush.  The following morning, while the hearse was on the road, they stopped Vermin and then opened up the hearse’s back door.  They saw Batty sitting there with a drawn gun.

            “That’s a pretty good picture of a gun,” Clay said.

            “Why, thank you!” Batty exclaimed,  “Now both of you move!”

            One thing led to another and Harvey got shot and died and Clay lived to see another day, even though that day would be behind bars (not tender bars but bars of steel).

            Batty was getting ready to leave town, I guess his claim turned up having no silver.  The Girl from U.N.C.L.E. was there along with Vermin.  “Ann, why don’t you meet me in a few years,” Batty said to the Girl from U.N.C.L.E.  You can meet me in Saint Louis-Louis, yeah, Baby, I got-tuh go now!  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!”

            She said, “I’ll be there, Batty!”  But little did she know that she would miss her date with the man old enough to be her father’s younger brother because she would be on a secret spy mission for her other U.N.C.L.E.  She would even have a sexy partner who was the son of Rex Harrison.  And his name is Noel, and yes, he does love his Christmas songs.

            Eventually Batty would get a different TV show by the name of Burp’s Law, but that’s an entirely different show altogether.

The following is a reprint article from The Ascended Times.

PANOOBUS ATTACKS DAIQUIRI – by Murky Watters (no relation to Jessie)

            The old Egyptian Bowl-a-food god, Panoobus, who is in limbo (he ascended part way, but was unable to go all the way), gathered up all his drone soldiers in order to attack the Jiffy-Pop outpost on the planet of Daiquiri.  His evil intention was to destroy all the Jiffy-Pop soldiers, or make them run, so that he could be in control of the Holy Tabernacle Choir’s ancient weapon that can wipe out all life throughout the galaxy.

            But thanks to the quick interference of one Doctor Daniel Snackson and Omahmama DeSalad the Egyptian god’s plans were foiled and plastic wrapped.  Omahmama DeSalad used her ascended energy to fight Panoobus; they will probably be in battle for eternity (or until one of them cries “Girl From U.N.C.L.E.”). 

            After Panoobus and DeSalad disappeared from Der Waffle House the ancients gave Daniel Snackson a choice.  He could either ascend or they would allow him to return to earth in his original S.P.C. form, as he appeared before being stabbed to death by Decorator Spam Cartwheel.  Daniel decided to return to Cayenne Mountain in order to continue his work with Starplate Special-K.  But, as we Ancients so love to do, we made him return without any clothes!  TEE HEE HEE!!!

COMMANDO STRIPPED NAKED – by Pero Snapper

            Joke Biden’s German shepherd, Commando, has bitten way too many people (over twelve so far) to be allowed residence at the White House any longer.  Not only has he bit secret service agents, but he has also bit a grounds keeper, a maid, a butler, a chef, and two Carpenters (who like to sing music together).  He will be relocated, probably to one of Biden’s homes (unfortunately, it is not the Home for the Mildly Foolish and Inane). 

            Joke Biden had problems with his previous German shepherd, Major Chord.  He liked to bite the Secret Service Agents too.  But the Secret Service guys and gals have disliked taking care of Joke Biden, even when he was a Vice President.  They really did not appreciate having to see Joke Biden go all out COMMANDO while taking a dip in the pool.  Perhaps he thought he could impress them all with his blond hair prickling up all over his body?

PRESIDENT ELEVEN TO MEET UP WITH BIDEN IN NOVEMBER – by Sum Mitt Meat

            Next month Joke Biden is to meet with China’s President Eleven in order to discuss – well, who knows what they will discuss?  Maybe it will have something to do with Joke taking more bribes from the communist Chinese government?  What’s that you say?  His name is not Eleven?  It is XI, which is pronounced “she”.  At least XI has his preferred pronoun in his name already!

BOGUS BUSINESS TRIAL – by Kanga Roo Court

            New Yorkso’s Athorney General, Leticia Shames campaigned on “getting Trumpet” in order to get her job (when she did this the legal bar, not the tender bar, should have debarred her).  Unfortunately enough stupid people voted for her. 

            President Trumpet has been in court, during the first week of October, in New Yorkso City, on charges brought by Leticia Shames.  What is it about?  Property in Florida being estimated too high for the New Yorkso banks loaning money, which are bogus claims and charges.  The judge of the case is no better, he doesn’t like President Trumpet, but he likes to smile for the cameras.  This bias judge went in front of college students, some years ago, and told them that he was bias, as he used blue and red sweaters as an example – the two colors of the two main parties of USA.

            One of the judge’s helpers was seen hanging out with Senator Upchuck Shoemer, and Trumpet made a comment on Truth Social about her being Shoemer’s girlfriend.  After that the judge put Trumpet under a gag order.  The question is now out there; does Shoemer have a connection to the trial, is he working with and for the prosecutors?

            So, what is the big beef?  Well, it’s not Batty’s steaks, for sure.  No, the beef is the price of the Mar-A-Large-O property in Florida.  The judge claims that Mar-A-Large-O is worth only $18 million, when it is worth way more than that.  How does he get by making this false claim when it has absolutely nothing to do with mining silver?  Well, he is confusing the property tax value with the real estate value and when real experts testify to try and enlighten him he makes sure his noise canceling headphones are wrapped tightly around his head.  This probably accounts for the lack of blood supply to his brain.

            There was one thing good that this judge did on the first day, near the end of the court’s session.  He dismissed eighty percent of the charges because the statute of liberty, I mean, limitations had elapsed on those charges.  Stupid Leticia Shames!

            One question remains.  How is it that this judge can remain on the case when he is so unstable?  The unified rules of court say, “You cannot sit on a case where you have a personal bias or a prejudice concerning a party.”  And he told Shames to go after President Trumpet, yeah, sounds like he is bias to me!  How about you?  Does it sound like he is bias to you?

NO BORDERS BIDEN – by John Henry

            As most of you know the southern border has been invaded with millions of people from around the world since January 20, 2021.  There have been many “GOTAWAYS” too.  But the past couple of months have broken all records, and many musicians are most unhappy about it!

            As most of you also know, there is an election coming up on November 8, 2023.  I am almost 98.8% sure that there will be some important seats up for election and the Dummycrats want to make sure that more Dummycrats are elected in the election.  So they are pretending to care about the border, when they do not care one i-oat-a.  That is all it is, a pretense.  Even Joke Biden made it clear that he is only putting up 20 miles of wall (fence) to keep from breaking the law.  When has breaking the law ever kept that man from doing anything?  He’s been breaking laws for decades, especially since he was inaugurated and inebriated. 

            So, yeah, after Biden sold off much of the tax paid materials, at low-end costs, for fencing the border, they (he and Mayorkass) will (maybe) build twenty miles of border wall (fence) in Starr County, Textus, in order to placate the Dummycrat Party over the invasion taking place, but that is it.  In fact, how much fencing can be installed before November 8th?  But, there can be no doubt, that they are doing this for the 2024 presidential election too.

            Biden and Mayorkass will continue to fly people into the country via airplane and let them go after their arrival.  They will still cut the razor wire that Abbott had installed [Idioter’s note C sharp – At the end of October the court made it illegal for Biden to have his people cut the razor wire – Will Biden obey the court’s order?]; they will still sue Textus over the boys in the river, and this and that.  Now, it is all a front, a wall one could say, that is being put forth by Mayorkass and Biden.  They have a huge political crisis on their hands.  Biden is, for the most part, a big fat liar, however, he was honest about one thing, he was not able to appropriate (steal) the money from Congress and use it for something else besides building a wall on the border, even though he tried for six months!  He could not appropriate the money from Congress; yet, he is the one who stopped all work on Trumpet’s border wall (fence) in the first place!

CONGRESSMAN BOWEDMAN PULLS ALARM – by Sigmund Fraud

            When a vote was to be taken by the House, in order to keep the government open, Congressman Bowedman pulled a fire alarm.  He said that he was in a rush to get to the vote, but he could not escape the building he was in, as the doors were locked.  He then said that he thought that the fire alarm would help him open the doors. 

            Bowedman used to be a middle school principal, and he is trying to convince everybody that he thought it was a good idea to pull a fire alarm?  Of course, the Dummycrats and State news media stood up for him and took his side.

            If we follow the January 6th example then he was trying to cause an insurrection by interrupting a very important voting process taking place in Congress that day, and he should be arrested and put on trial and serve a sentence like all those being punished over the January 6th “insurrection” as Nancy P, refers to it.

GAYTZ GIVES McCARTHY THE BOOT – by Not Happy

            Kevin McCarthy, who was voted in as Speaker of the House in January of this year, was just given the boot by Congressman Matt Gaytz, a few other Republicans, and the Dummycrats.  It was a nice brown boot, and made of the finest Corinthian leather, still, Kevin McCarthy would rather be Speaker.  “Rough, rough!”

            It is hard to say if Matt Gaytz did it out of vengeance or not, because of his ongoing (?) sex investigation.  Gaytz says it was not because of that but because McCarthy had not kept his promises to them (the Republicans), the promises made in January.  Yet, it was only four percent of the party that voted against McCarthy.

            We will see if it turns out to be a good thing, or if what took place will blow up in the Republican’s faces, especially when the November election is coming up soon and when they must take care of a postponed government shut down in the same month! 

            After war broke out in Israel on October 7, 2023, Congress is really itching to get back together in order to give money to the Jews living in Israel.

            Some people want to vote in President Trumpet as a temporary House Speaker, but I cannot see how he can do this when he is required to be in court so much – thanks to Joke Biden’s all out assault and pepper on the president!  Other candidates are Steve Scoldesse and Jim D. Jordanriver.  Both men are good choices, however, Scoldesse is battling Cancer, Leo, and Virgo right now.

            It remains to be seen if Gaytz screwed over the Republicans or not.

UPDATE and PRUNE – The Republicans finally got their act together and nominated and voted in a new Speaker of the House. Wolf N. Tweeters announced Congressman Micky Johnson as the new Speaker.

MORE MONEY WANTING TO BE SPENT BY POLITICIANS – OR – PORK EARMARKS – by Sow Sorry

            It is doubtful that many people knew that Senator John McCrain, after biting the dust, now has a library on 22 acres of land.  Biden used covid recovery money to build said library – $80,000,000 to be exact.  McCrain was never even a president, even though he did run for president and lost, so why does he deserve a library when Red Buttons never got a library?  The only reason why Joke Biden paid for the library is because he knew that McCrain hated PRESIDENT Donald Trumpet as much as he does, but I think Biden actually hates Trumpet more than McCrain did!  What makes me laugh is that John McCrain thought it would crush the president and hurt President Trumpet’s feelings when he did not get an invite to the McCrain funeral!  What an ego that man had!  Yet all the other former presidents, along with Biden (who finds it hard to be in the present) were present at the McCrian funeral.  It was like they were rubbing Trumpet’s nose in it all.  If I were Trumpet, which I am not, I would have been sighing a big sigh of relief that I did not have to go and attend!  Who likes to go and sit at a boring funeral?  NOT ME!!!

            Getting funds for politician’s pet projects is basically just paying back their donors.  According to LOX News, most earmarks are Republicans.  Eight out of ten earmarks, in the Senate, are Republican.  Republican Senator Susan Collins wants six hundred million dollars for Maine.  Both Democrats and Republicans must cut the wasted spending!

$1,416,000 for carbon neutral bird sanctuary in Virginia – it remains to be seen if migrant birds will invade the carbon neutral bird sanctuary or not – I’m also wondering, how is it that it is carbon neutral?

$1,044,000 for solar pots and pans rooftops on low-income houses in California

$235,000 to give electric Tesla cars to people in the projects, I thought the Left hated Elong Musket.  Another $650,000 is wanted to build electric car charging stations in the same projects

$3,000,000 for a playground in California, which should, in the real world, only cost around $30,000 tops

$7,000,000 for an inclusive and equitable park

$4,713,618 to put WIFI in a park (sounds like a song that Chicagogo would have sung “WIFI In The Park”)

$1,000,000 for parks and trees to be placed in a parking lot – to sod a parking lot would really cost $2 per square foot and 30,000 square feet would cost only $60,000 and a cost of $500 per tree – makes $50 grand for 100 trees – would come to a total of $110,000 – not one million dollars

$11,000,000 for a machine gun range (this one must be for the Republicans, unless it’s meant for all the new IRS agents who now carry guns); J. Watters of LOX News says he just shoots at boulders, this could be a bad idea if those bullets ricochet and bounce back at you!

$55,000,000 for an elevator at a train station (probably in San Flancisco); earmark Nancy Pelono.  Just how high in the sky is this train station – how many floors are there?

$1,000,000 to remodel a bathroom in a library; earmark A.O.C.

$1,000,000 to refurbish an outdoor basketball court; earmark A.O.C.  To pave, paint, and put two hoops with glass backed plates would only cost $75,000 tops.  Reality sucks, doesn’t it A.O.C.?

$100,000,000 for the Hard Rock and Tootsie Roll Hall of Fame

$200,000,000 for Baltimore’s Great Wax Museum; the owner of the earmark got his own wax statue six months ago (bribery or vanity?)

$5,000,000 for a Hip-Hop Museum in New Yorkso; earmark Senator Upchuck Shoemer

$1,000,000 to widen sidewalks; earmark Jerry Needler (not sure where the sidewalks are – his own property?)

$2,000,000 for a bike lane in California

$5,000,000 to re-imagine an entrance to a Subway Station named after Harvey D. Milkman; earmark Nancy Pelono (it might be worth it if it was for entrances to all Subway fast food joints)

$4,000,000 for a farmers market in Miniapples; earmark Illham Omar

$4,000,000 for a George Floyd Square at a certain intersection; earmark Squad member

$3,000,000 for a scientific study to see if a rusted old barge should be removed from the harbor; earmark A.O.C., she also wants another half a million to make an anti-racist oyster reef – as there are no oysters in Flushing Bay (Is it named Flushing Bay because that is where all the toilet water is flushed away to?  This would explain why there are no living oysters there.).  Flushing Bay is in Queens where the rusty barge is located.  I could see spending money on an oyster bar on the reef where people would go to get drunk and maybe get some good seafood to eat – but half a mill?  I don’t think so.

Millions are wanted for traffic light cameras (nobody wants that – to be spied on)

Somebody also wants to spend a wad of gum on a zero emissions street Zamboni !  I’m also not sure why anyone would want to use the ice paving machine on the streets?  That sounds dangerous to us!

$4,800,000 for a public bathroom at Venice Beach, California; earmark Tim Lou-Lou

$2,485,000 for solar panels on a recreation center; earmark Bob Goldbar’s son

$3,500,000 for a “wellness trail” in Michigangan; earmark Radish Taleebie

$1,800,000 to repave a walking-trail (for repairs); earmark Jamey Summers Raskin

$2,000,000 to build a senior home for gays; earmark Iowa Presley (no relation to Elvis)

$8,000,000 to make a bird nest island; earmark Barbarbarbarbarbarbar-Lee in Oakland

            Well, if there are more Republicans than Democrats wanting Pork Earmarks they sure did not get listed here (all information I have reported to you has come from LOX News).

HILARIOUSLY ROTTEN CLINTON IS AT IT AGAIN!!! – by Tired’o Dis’Be-Atch!

            Hilariously Rotten Clinton was on some silly news show on some State TV news station, like MTNBC or ZNN, putting out the hit on MAGA people.  Calling the followers of President Trumpet a “cult”.  So, once more, she is against more than half the country just because they disagree with her and her communist Comrades.  According to her, in 2016, the MAGA Republicans use to all be deplorable, but now they are also members of a cult.  She says that all of the MAGA Republicans take their “marching orders from Donald Trumpet”.  With this comment it is easy to see that she is alluding to MAGA people as fascists – doing some silly goose step.

            She bitches, in the bad way, about how Trumpet is immoral and is a crook – being he’s in court and been indicted.  She seems to forget that in America the law says that you are innocent until proven guilty!  And if you are not proven guilty then you are innocent!  The only reason why Joke Biden has not been indicted and is not facing charges in court today is because Biden has people in high places, like the DOJ, the FBI, the CIA (etc.).  They are all protecting him and keeping him from being investigated!  They are even trying to obstruct Congress by keeping documents sent to them or blacking them out.

            Just recently, Biden had his guy Garlic Maryland appoint one of Hunted Biden’s best lawyer friends to be in charge of a special council looking into whistleblowers.  The whistleblowers that are whistle blowing stuff about Hunted and Joke Biden!

            “Maybe,” Clinton says about MAGA folk, “they don’t like migrants?  Maybe they don’t like gay people or black people or the woman who got the promotion at work they didn’t get?  Whatever the reason…it seems like a cult.”

            I would like to personally respond to her “maybe” questions.  Maybe we don’t like migrants entering our country illegally, breaking all of our laws, getting stuff for free that we, the tax payers pay for, and then having to share our Medicaid, hospitals, schools, sidewalks, airports, police stations, motels, and other stuff with them!  Do you think we believe for one minute that ALL of the people who have broken our laws are really seeking asylum from their countries especially when they bring the flags of their own country with them and wave them in our faces?  Remember the slogan in Europe – “Rebels go home”?  Well, I say this to all the people that have broken our laws – “Migrants go home!”

            The man that she hates the most and lies about the most, President Donald J. Trumpet, was for gay marriage, she is the one who was against it.  Yet she accuses MAGA people of being against gays.  I’m not saying some people are not against the idea of two men getting married or two women getting married, but not all of us are against it.  I for one, an independent, say that people just should not get married – we all must be celibate and have no more children.  But see, I am in the minority here.  Should not my feelings, because I am a minority, matter more than all the LRGXOUQT people out in the world (who are a very small percentage of the population)?  I think so!  But you don’t see me crying over it or going out to riot and steal because I am in the minority of ONE!

            She is partially right about black people.  I do not like ALL black people – I strongly dislike the ones who loot, go out and steal, go out and riot, go out and BREAK OUR LAWS!!!  I have nothing against black people who follow the law or want laws in our country. It is not the color of someone’s skin I have problems with – it is their bad attitudes and when they are immoral.  A lot of honest, hard working black people do want police in their neighborhoods.  I am not saying that the black people who break the laws are evil either.  I think that people who make a living off of baiting blacks with prejudice causes, like Al Sharptone, and the Leftist teachers and Leftist professors (who actually are cultists) have falsely educated (you know, brain washed) these black people!  Critical Race Theory is not helping matters either, and that is what Clinton and her ilk are trying to do – brainwash our children into believing that they are oppressors if they are white and the oppressed, or the victims of whitey, if they are black – so all we can ever have is chaos and people trying to get revenge and justice!  But who are really against the black people?  It is and always has been the Dummycrat Party (they are the slave owners – Biden’s family owned actual slaves; they are the KKK, they are the ones who adopted Hitler’s fascism and then lied to say fascism belonged to the Republican Party).

            Again, it was H. R. C. who had a war room against women, maybe because they got the job that she wanted?  Is this not why she has a war with Trumpet going on?  Because, he got her job, the one that the Global Leftists promised to her?  But she forgot that America is not run, not yet anyway and I hope it never will be, by the Leftists, or the Globalists (one world order jerks), it is still run by “WE THE PEOPLE”!!!  But that is why she claims that we are all cultists; she wants us out of her way (their way – the globalists’ way)!

            H. R. Clinton’s little talk was the opening topic, the A Block, on LOX New’s show THE FOUR PLUS ONE, on October 6, 2023.  The “Plus One” – Jessica Takeoff – said that Republicans call liberals “anarchists, anti-American, deranged, communists, corrupt, compromised, groomers and perverts, thugs and traitors.”  Well, aren’t they?  If Jessica is honest with herself, she has to admit that the Dummycrat party does have their share of “anarchists, anti-American, deranged, communists, corrupt, compromised, groomers and perverts, thugs and traitors”. 

Examples:  All the people who allow rioters and looters to get away with their deeds and do not arrest them or put them in jail.  Oh, they do it when they want to arrest their enemies – the MAGA “cult” – but when it comes to groups like BLM, or Antifa and Unclefa, or the hundreds of people who go steal everything out of stores after breaking into these store, and one congressman who pulls a fire alarm – well, they can get by with all the anarchist deeds they pull and not one bloody thing is done about it because the large cities are managed by George Soreass district athornies!!!

The Left is anti-American – just look at Joke Biden who breaks all the American laws he can, on a minute by minute accounting of time and bad deeds!  He has ruined the United States of America since January 20, 2021.  He is one of the most anti-American people I can think of, except perhaps his puppet masters. 

The Left are deranged as they suffer from TDS (Trumpet Deranged Syndrome).  Point in case – all the illegal court indictments placed on Trumpet in 2023 just because he is running for president in 2024 and Biden knows he will loose if he does not cheat (again) to keep hold of his job.  So they are willing to play all the deranged games they can in order to keep the man out of the Oval Office!  Plus, that one lady who was screaming her head off because Trumpet won in 2016 – that is a pretty good example of derangement!

Everything the Left does is in goosestep with communism and fascism, not to mention, but I am, Marxism!  Taking away taxpayers’ money to give free things to illegal immigrants – that’s communism to the max!  Redistribution of our tax paid money (our wealth) is also communism – and that is all that the Left side does – is redistribute our wealth – that is what welfare is, that is what social security is!  WAKE UP!!!

I just have to say two names to prove that the Dummycrats are corrupt – Bob Goldbar Mandoza and Joke Biden.  And that leads into the next word “compromised” – because when people like Bob and Joke take bribes from foreign governments that makes THEM compromised and they do things against the interest of USA!!!

Who are “groomers and perverts” of today’s children?  It is all the public schoolteachers and the teacher’s union that teach sex education to the children in K-12 – that’s who!  And they also allow pornography into the school libraries.  Then there are the weird people allowing Drag Queen Story Hour (I wonder if they have pop up books?)  They are also perverts because they want to “sexually” pervert our children!  That is what a pervert is.  One definition of pervert is “corrupt”.  Is that what happened to Joke Biden and Bob Goldbar?  Is that why Biden loves to hire sexually perverted people for his administration?  One example is the Samsonite man who dresses up in stolen dresses he pinches at airports.

The next thing on Jessica’s list is that of “thugs”.  Thug is defined as “[he covers, conceals – more at THATCH]: a brutal ruffian or assassin: GANGSTER, KILLER” (Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary).  That sounds like a good description of Hilariously Rotten Clinton to me!  She covered up her own e-mail scandal with the aid of FBI Wookie James Homley.  There is rumor that she and her hubby are responsible for the assassinations of certain people – but nobody really wanted to do serious investigations to prove their involvement.

And the final word is “traitors”.  Well, Joke Biden is the biggest traitor to our country we have ever seen, not Donald Trumpet.  Biden is the one who took bribes from the leaders of countries who are our enemies.  Biden is the one who allowed millions of people to INVADE our country while claiming that the border is closed and while breaking all of our immigration laws that are on the books.  So, you can see, why the MAGA people may say these things about the Dummycrats – because they are ALL TRUE!!!  So it is not actually name calling at all, it is just “stating the facts”!

            Nobody on the Right calls for silencing people’s voices, or threatens newspapers and social media when it comes to a story about a lap top right before a presidential election!  Nobody on the Right tries to suppress anyone on social media just because they do not agree with what the Dummycrats are saying.

            What H. R. C. is doing, in calling MAGA people cultists and stating that they need to be deprogrammed or re-educated – well, that’s the type of thing they do in COMMUNIST countries, one like North Korea – chun-mon-aa-yo!

            So here is what Greg Gutfelt said about cults, “A cult is not defined by its supporters, it’s defined by destroying those who don’t support you.  So Scientology is not a cult because it has followers [who do so blindly], it is a cult because it goes after those who leave [because they no longer follow blindly] or people who are against it [sane people].  That defines the party of the Dummycrats who created cancel culture (it wasn’t the Republicans).  What you are seeing now is a bigger issue; you’re seeing cancel culture on a wider scale.  You wonder why people are worried about 2024?  Because there is a group of elites who are already placing targets on people’s backs.  From the top – Elong Musket and Trumpet – to the bottom – the January six trespassers.  And, if you dare to call it out a target will be placed on you.

            “If you talk about issues that matter, that the Dummycrats have abandoned whether it’s immigration or crime or education, you will be deprogrammed, you will go to the camp.  Again, this is cancel culture.  It’s no longer a bug in the system it is the system.  You have the FBI now targeting MAGA Republicans as terrorists; that’s part of this equation.  So, how should the rest of us react?  How should half the country react?  Should we just laugh it off?  I mean, you [Jessica] said, ‘this is what people say about Liberals’ fine, that’s name-calling.  [Of course, Greg did not just present to you, like I have, how the Left’s idea of the Right’s name-calling is actually the Right stating facts.]  Trumpet targeted people in power; he didn’t go after voters.  Right?  She [Hilariously Rotten] goes after voters; she goes after Americans.  He went after the [state] media and he went after politicians and after the Dummycrat Party.  He never went after, quote, the small ‘d’ Dummycrat.  So that validates everything that Trumpet said about others, ‘They are coming for you’.  They [Dummycrats] are just no longer hiding it.  They want us to be scared.  They want us to stay home.  They want you to think twice before you say anything or like a post by Trumpet on Truth Social.  Ah, what are we supposed to do, because, if we say something about it, then we get targeted, right?  That’s what’s happening.” 

            If any political party is a cult it is the Dummycrat party because everything they do is a perfect example of what H. R. C. spoke about the MAGA Republicans (or MAGA people) being like.  Yet, MAGA simply means, “Make America Great Again”!  What is so wrong about that?  NOTHING!  Why would we even have to make America great again?  It is because the Dummycrats have ruined America with their policies!  They are the ones who have George Soreass employees in district athorney offices throughout the country.  They are the ones allowing millions of people to come into the country illegally since January 20, 2021.  And this invasion is destroying the safety of our country – what with over 7 million people flooding our border.  The Dummycrats are the ones who established “no bail” policies.  They are the ones allowing criminals to roam the streets.  They are the ones who have allowed the homeless to live on city sidewalks and in city parks where people are likely to step in human poop and human urine and hyper-dermis needles!  It is the Dummycrats who de-funded the police, who will not defend the police, and who have allowed our police forces to dwindle into nothing.  It is the Dummycrats who will not prosecute BLM rioters, antifa and unclefa rioters, and all the shoplifters and store looters.  And because their policies do what they need them to do, ruin USA, they accuse MAGA Republicans of being against democracy, of being anti-American.  This is a trick of the communists and Marxists – accuse your enemy of what you are guilty of being and doing.  They constantly accuse (and name call) Republicans and conservatives as being racists when they are the racists (just examine their policies and how they work against people instead of helping them).  So, Jessica accuses the Republicans of not being nice because she can’t stand the fact that it is her side who are the horribly immoral name callers. [Idioter’s note A flat: Will Jessica come to her senses and wake up when she, a Jew, sees how her own party treat the Jews? I doubt it.]

            In fact, there is a new nasty name for the MAGA folk.  It is AGAAVE.  It is what the FBI is using for people they aim to harass, arrest, and incarcerate.  What does this new name mean?  It means “anti-government, anti-authority, violent extremists” and that is how they are classifying MAGA people, because racist just won’t do any more.  They will go after these people and go after the people who plan to vote for Donald Trumpet in 2024.  To be honest, I really do not know that I want Trumpet to be president again; I would rather let somebody else have a chance to do it (so long as they are on the Republican ticket).  But by golly, if there was any candidate who is really going to be willing to take on the deep state, the state itself, and the Dummycrats, I do believe it will be Donald Trumpet – because look at what they are doing to him!  And as he says, they are going after him in order to go after US (UNITED STATES) PEOPLE!!!

Notice that under President Trumpet only eleven known terrorists tried to enter into our country.  Yet under Joke Biden, so far, there have been 264 known terrorists who have tried to enter into our country.

Under the Biden Administration over 1.5 million known “Gotaways” have come across the southern border, which is more than the cast members of Dallas, the TV show.  Well, do you feel safer than you did four years ago?  I know I don’t.

_____________________

2 – These country names were made up in order to protect innocent journalists on this rag!

GIGOLO GANDER – September 2023

FACTS:

One of the Left’s strategies for the 2024 presidential election is to keep President Trumpet in court.

Three of the Trumpet prosecutors have all campaigned on getting President Trump and got elected anyway!

Operation Popeye was a weather project used in order to drown the Vietnamese during the Vietnam War, not the name of a spinach-canning factory.

During one year of the O’Bummer presidency three million illegal aliens were exported (by Federal Express).  “Let’s Do It Again!”

The USA looses $250 million per day because of Biden’s war on oil production.  He just made it impossible for Alaska to open up more oil production.  His retarded reason – it’s too dangerous to truck the products!  Hey, Biden, that’s why God invented pipelines!  Rumor has it that he also is against all Omega 3 oil, so he’s closed up all sardine and salmon canning facilities near Bearbanks, AK.

Nancy Pelono acts like and thinks that she is above the law.  Maybe she is when she flies on her broom?

CROP CIRCLE WARNING – by Morris Code

            A crop circle from August 15, 2021, found in Westminster Cathedral, England, depicted a grey alien and a disk covered in binary code.  The message on the disk happens to read:  “Beware the bearers of false gifts and their broken promises.  Much pain but still time.  There is good out there.  We oppose deception.  Conduit closing.”

            Our experts, here at the Gander, deciphered the meaning as: “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, he might bite you nose off.  But there is still good in the universe.  We, the aliens, are against and fight against Joke Biden, his conduit flow of mental activity is closing.”

CANADA TO REPROGRAM PSYCHOLOGIST – by Big Broth E.R. Worker

            Psychiatrist Dr. Jordan Almond Peterson (some times you feel like a nut), from Canada, has spoken out for years on topics of importance.  But the Leftists, especially the Primeribminister of Canada Unjust Prude-Dough, are forcing him to be re-programmed in the ways of Marxism.  I know, it sounds so 1984!  We wish the Doctor well, and he should take video cameras into these sessions and then broadcast them on public TV or make a documentary out of them – so that the world can see what evil is transpiring and perspiring.  Unjust Prude-Dough is the one who is a real NUT.

            If you want some good reading, then read Peterson’s book Twelve Rules For Life.

OTHER IMPORTANT BOOKS – by Word Smith

            The Last Politician, by Franklin Foer, is about the two and a half years that he got an inside view into the Biden Administrations’ White House activities.  The author is known as being on the Left side of politics, but what he has written exposes Biden’s weakness as a president.  He has reported that Joke Biden often complains about being tired.  Biden also got upset and said that they, those around him and those who are really running the show, treat him like he is a child. 

            My question is, because of his stark honesty in reporting the truth about Joke Biden, will the Left shun his book or will it be celebrated in order to help keep the old man from running for president again?

            Charlie Kirk, no relation to James T. Kirk, also has a new book out.  It is called The College Scam.  I fast-forwarded through the commercial advertising his book so I really do not know what his book is about, but I believe that it is probably an important book.  And perhaps the title speaks for itself?  It is easy enough to say it, so I am going to say it, that the people behind the college scam are really the college scum!

            THE DUMMYCRAT PARTY HATES AMERICA, by Mark R. Colors Levin, is all about the Dummycrat Party and how they love destruction of prosperity and growth.  They want equity over equality.  They love single women with children, children with no parents, and children with children.  They are behind two systems of justice, “There is one set of laws for us where we, the Dummies, can get by with every crime and break every law in the books (and even the laws we’ve broken exposed in Levin’s book), and a different book for the conservatives, if they break the law we will throw the book at you and afterward put you in a very damp and dark prison for the rest of your lives.”  Boy, that was a run on sentence!

DEBATE OVER

BURNING MAN – by Shadrach, Meshach, and Tobed Wego

            Many cars, trucks, and campers were held up on a two-lane desert road by eco protesters.  These protesters wanted to keep the travelers from getting to the Burning Man event, whatever that may be.  The protesters wanted to tick off the people that they were holding up (fortunately, nobody was robbed of anything but their time and gasoline).  The protester nut bags placed a metal-framed trailer across the road so that nobody could pass (unless they drove off the road and onto the dirt, which nobody seemed to do).  Finally, a Nevada Ranger, we heard he was from the Reservation, came along and he used his pickup truck to run into and move the trailer.  Then he began to arrest the protesters.  They were not happy and now this Lone Ranger, not named Tonto, is under a review because the protesters are big babies and they complained about how they were mistreated by the Lone Ranger (not named Bass Reeves either).

            I’m sorry, these protesters deserved to be treated like lawbreakers.  It is against the law to hold up traffic and it is time that these dirt bag ecology protesters need to learn that they cannot get away with these stupid illegal deeds!  They deserve what they get.

            One protesting lady sat on the side of the road being recorded by one of her friends.  She pretended to be upset that the Lone Ranger was treating them unkindly.  She bleated, “But we’re protesters!”  Then she pretended like she was crying and looked into the phone’s camera.  When she saw the phone being held on her she came off being insincere and PHONE-EE!  We need to find out who was funding their little protest.  Was it George Sorass?*

            When they back up traffic like they did, they are causing more fuel to be burned and more carbon emissions to take place.  These protesters are so stupid!

*Note – A Sharp – George Sorass is funding loads of moo-la to immature brats, where they go on TIC-TAC and do speeches using false propaganda (to lie) in order to fool people into voting for Dummycrats in 2024.

BURNING MAN – by Holy Prophet Batman!

            The protesters who blocked traffic on the roadway were sent there on porpoise to help protect the participants.  They were only trying to keep them all from becoming devil worshippers – where people dare to burn down a Burning Man every year!  This unhallowed event was a literal WASH OUT, as the rain came down on all those who were present. 

            These stick-in-the muds all got stuck in the mud!  Would they all not have been much happier if they had just turned around on the road that the fine protesters had blocked, and gone home?  Then none of them would have been caught in the rain and mud and all would be well.

            Those protesters were there to keep all those people safe but the police just allowed them to proceed on their merry way so that they could be caught in bad weather due to climate change (even if the government is really responsible for massive rain storms and such because they seed the clouds with silver iodine crystals and use ray guns on the clouds).  The activist protesters were heroes and they should not go to jail or be punished!

NEW INSULTS THAT JOKE BIDEN COULD SLING, TO FOLKS HE’S ANGRY AT, INSTEAD OF “LYING DOG FACED PONY SOLDIER”

Lying Cross Faced Chicken Wing 

Lying Sausage Faced Pizza Slice

Lying Pressed Faced Pancake Stack

Lying Cat Faced Kitty Litter Box

THAT’S A BIG HAWAIIAN PUNCH!!! – by John Henry

            Three weeks before the island of Maui, of Hawaii, caught on fire an “emergency proclamation” was passed by government officials.  This proclamation would allow certain peoples to grab land after a disaster took place.  A wild fire would be a pretty big disaster!  Is it a coincidence that they happened to pass this law three weeks before all hell broke loose on the island – or was it them co-in-side-ing a planned burning of the island?

            Why is it that the politicians of the island all seemed to not do their jobs right?  Why is it that the electric company failed to take care of the non-natural grasses to the island near the power lines?  Why is it that one man in charge of water refused to give the fire fighters water for the fire?  Do they all think that they can blame the tragedy on climate change and get by with it? 

            Something smells rotten on Maui, and it’s not the charred pineapples.  (By the way, contrary to its misleading name, this fruit is not grown on pine trees; it grows on the ground in pineapple fields.)

            Further more, why is it that FIMA people were staying at motels (that cost hundreds of dollars per night, per room, even if they got a government discount)?  And why is it that FIMA people are being forced to attend equity-training courses instead of taking care of the tragedy?

            We are also going to need FIMA in the southern states after Hurricane Iowealotamoney hit land.  Joke Biden did go south to visit Florida people, but he has yet to go to Ohio after the train wreck, he still has not visited that town.  It’s probably because he is afraid of being poisoned by the chemicals in the air and water.

            Maui held a meeting that Governor Josh Go-Green attended.  He is the politician having everything to do with the “emergency proclamation.”  Yet he left before the citizens of the island could get up to ask him question about the disaster and about his “land grab” – because he does not want to answer their questions.

            After the governor’s quick disappearing trick, former UFC Champion, P. J. Top got up to speak.  Hawaii has a new slogan thanks to him, “Aloha is the law.”

THOSE THAT CAN’T GOVERN PROPERLY, TEACH – by FNN’s Victoria Nuze

            It seems as if the Leftist politicians that get booted out of office and various jobs seem to get choice professorships and professorboats at American Universities.  This year Hilariously Rotten Clinton was given a teaching job at Columbia You.  Harvard has offered New Yorkso City’s former mayor, “Lurch” DeBlahblahblahseo, a job; they have also provided one of ZNN’s ex-journalists (no affiliation to FNN) a job as well; he is best known as the Pillsbury Doughboy, but his real name is Brian Seltzer.  And now, a Chicago university, Whatsamatta U., has offered Lori Lighthead, Chicago’s last mayor, an instructor position.  Will she teach political classes or will she teach how to do TIC-TAC videos?

SUMMER VACATIONS FOR JOKE BIDEN AND KAMELEON HARRIS – by R. I. P.

            As much vacation time doled out to the two top people in this country – one has to be asking, “Who is running the country?”

            It turns out that Joke Biden actually worked harder than his V.P. in August.  He only had twenty-three days off while Khameleon Harris had twenty-seven days off.  I guess that is not too bad if that is the only vacation time Harris actually took off during 2023, but how do we know she did not take off more time than that?  The weird thing is that nobody noticed that she was gone.  Of course, Joke Biden seems to take off vacation time any time he feels like it.  And he feels like it most of the year.

            Just recently Joke was approached by some reporters and he gave the excuse that he was at this particular house (in Delawares, New Jerseys) because his other house (in Maryland, Delaware) was being updated for security reasons (to keep Hunted out?) – yet the lame reporters did not say to Joke Biden, “But, Sir, what about the White House?  You could stay there!”  I wonder what his reason for not staying at the White House is?  Maybe there is still too much snow there for him?  It’s only going to get worse, as the winter approaches!  Or maybe it will get better if Hunted actually does get indicted where he actually has to serve jail time?  A sad drug joke – “The fix is in.”

            What is sad about Joke’s comment is that he was actually joking when he claimed to be “homeless” – really?  What an insensitive twit he is.

            To be honest, I would rather that Biden and Harris be vacationing!  It would be better than to have them ruin our country even more than they have by doing stuff we do not need or want!  But, alas, he is still hard at work, hardly working, to ruin the United States of America!  He does not need to lift a finger, as the millions of people invading USA (pronounced OO-SAW) will ruin it fast enough, just ask New Yorkso’s mayor Erik Myeye Adam Shame.

BIDEN SKIPS SUMMIT WITH NURDOCRUMBNESIA – by Gene Sunburn

            It turns out that during the first week of September Joke Biden skipped the summit with Nurdocrumbnesia.  He sent Khameleon Harris in his place. 

            The president of Nurdocrumbnesia was very disappointed that Joke Biden ignored the summit.  He said, “I know that our country is one of the worst countries in the world but we are not to be ignored or overlooked by the worst leader of the free world!  This may mean war, especially if Chinaware decides to invade our neighbors to the north of us, you know, Tuperware.  There will be a lot of burping taking place, and that stuff is noisy!  Plus, after it sits around for ten years or more it begins to get all sticky to the touch.”

            So, where was Joke Biden?  Well, his wife came down with coronavirust (again) so it could be he stayed home to nurse Dr. Jill.  On September 5th he went to give an award to an old military man, who justly deserved it.  Biden, who professes to wear a mask because of Jill’s condition, did not have his mask on when he breathed heavily down upon the man, while placing the award around his neck.  Then after Biden had finished his deed he just walked out of the ceremony, before it was finished, and was, again, mask-less while passing through the crowd.  Later on when the Binder (Kareme Abdule-Jabar Pierre) was asked where Biden went to, she covered for him (made a Pinocchio) by saying that he did not want to expose the crowd, if he were contagious, any more than necessary. 

A ZNN BARBER POLE – August 25-31, 2023 – consisting of 1,503 adulterers, affiliated with FLOWBE

58% of barbers know that Joke Biden’s policies make the economy worse (61% of these people now live from paycheck to paycheck and the average bear now owes $54,000 of debt)

58% of barbers have unfavorable opinions of Joke Biden (They just don’t like him personally nor do they like his barber.  They also think that Joke Biden is a bad person and not likeable.)

76% of the same barbers seriously are concerned that he cannot serve a full second term if he were to be re-elected  (Vin Jones, on a different rival news network – MTNBC, asked if we should give him another six years?  This just goes to show that Vin Jones cannot count, as there is only one full year left on Biden’s first term and a second term would mean just four years.  Aside from that there are only about four months left on this presidential year [have to go into January of 2024], and that would be a total of five years and four months.)

67% of Dummycrats think that somebody else, other than Joke Biden, should lead the party’s ticket  (But when it comes down to actually voting in 2024 these same dull 67% will actually vote for Joke Biden, so the joke is on WE THE PEOPLE!!!)

61% of the barbers now KNOW Joke Biden was involved in Hunted’s business dealings abroad, as well as with de escort broads, while Joke was VP and that he broke the law

MIGRANT OVERLOAD CAUSES NEW YORKSO SLUMS – by Suzy Statistic

            This week New Yorkso’s Mayor, Erik MyEye Adam Shame, was complaining about his migrant infestation to some group in a school gymnasium.  He was quick to blame Republican Governor Hey Abbott from Textus, but not so willing to yell at his Commander and Chef, Joke Biden.  During the last year more than 100,000 migrants have been placed in New Yorkso, yet, Abbott sent only 13,100 of those migrants to New Yorkso via bus!  How did the rest of the migrants get to New Yorkso?  No, they did not hoof it there by them wittle wonesome selves; Joke Biden sent them on airplanes via the darkness of night! 

            This makes me think of a line from Butterflies Are Ambidextrous:  “There are none so blind as those who will not see!”  But the real truth is that:  “There are none so dumb as those who will not speak out against Joke Biden and his destructive policies!”

            These Dummycratic politicians are not just dumb, they are STUPID; they claim they have no way to solve their illegal migrant problems.  Here’s how you to it, so pay attention!  First off, you photograph and fingerprint everybody coming into your city, you put that with the name they give you, even if it is not their real name.  You find out what their country of origin is.  Then you put this information into a database.  You group all the people from the same countries together and keep them together, then place them on a bus that goes straight to the airport, and you put them on a fast plane to their home city.  But before they leave on the plane this is the message you give to each and every one of them:

We now have your mugshots and fingerprints so we know who you are and you are now registered in our “illegal” system.  We are going to send you home because you crossed into our country illegally.  If you dare to come back across the border we will run you through our system or if you prefer we can run you through with a foil.  When we find you we will not allow you re-entry into our country.  Hear those beautiful words – OUR COUNTRY, for this is OUR COUNTRY it is not your country and it will never be your country.  IF you do comeback and somehow get back into OUR COUNTRY we will put you on a flight that goes over YOUR COUNTRY and we will throw you out of the plane over YOUR SAID COUNTRY and we will not provide you with a parachute!

            It is time that USA begins to play hardball with all those people taking advantage of us!  Sure, it will cost a lot of money to fly all those airplanes back and forth, but in the long run it will be a whole lot less money than giving the illegals free healthcare, free room and board, free food, free this and free that (this is not the meaning of having a FREE country)!  Think about it Mayors of BLUE cities and Blue States; stop being patsies for Joke Biden and his communist comrades!

            There is also a way to give the Venezuelans, that Joke Biden has given work visas to, good city jobs.  Most of them may need training, especially the ones we train to be police officers in those sanctuary cities.  For example:  San Flancisco is asking Textus for police recruitments, what better choice than to take new immigrants and train them to be policemen so that they can govern The Streets of San Flancisco

            Another way we can legally put these people, with work visas, to work is to appoint them as city maintenance crews.  They can go into the inner cities and clean up all the human excrement, hypodermic needles, and trash or garbage, etc.  Oddly, they may decide to return back to their home country, after all, who wants to pick up after homeless Americans?

MAN ON TIC-TAC PLOTS MURDER OF FUTURE CHILDREN – by Sure Shocked Holms

            A Transsexual Mann was bragging on TIC-TAC that he plans on transforming into a woman by getting a real woman’s healthy uterus and having that transplanted into his body.  Then he plans on having free sex (again, not what it means to have a FREE country) with other men until he gets pregnant.  Then once he gets pregnant he is going to go have an abortion.  This man should be put into a mental institute and a straight jacket!  He seems to have a sexual fetish to murder infants.  And what ever you do, do not ever allow him, as a man, to have sex with a real woman and get her pregnant!  Because, he really does not want to be a father anymore than he wants to be a mother – but he actually is a bad MOTHER-SUCKER!!!

Did you hear about the turtle that went crazy?  No, he did not want to transplant a female turtle’s uterus into his body, have free sex, get pregnant and then get an abortion; he was much more sane than that!  But, the turtle did have to be put into a padded shell!

IS YOUR PRINCIPAL A DRAG, THAT IS, A DRAG QUEEN? – by Bust R. Keaton

            It turns out that another group of people receptive of George Sorass funds happen to be public school principals.  Oklahomo’s West Heights Elementary School hired Miss Shant’tell E. Lace, a drag queen, as their new principal (We do not need that kind of prince or pal in our schools, thank you!).  He also hired another drag queen, a friend of his, to hold another position in the school (hopefully it’s not a sexual position).  But the State Superintendent, Ryan Walters (no relation to Baba) has plans to fire Miss Lace, and hopefully he will also fire the friend Shant’tell hired.

SENATOR JOHN KENNEDY READS PORN IN SENATE – by Al Blush

            During a committee meeting in the Senate, one fine day in September, Senator John Kennedy read from a book that is available in many public school libraries.  He read the homosexual words to the room.  The people who were there for questioning sat in the front row.  One of the women had a big smile on her face as Kennedy read the porn, like it was some sort of big joke, or perhaps she was getting off on it!  Someone in the chamber was shocked that he was reading those horrible excerpts from the book – how dare he?  Yet, it is what these people, who were all sitting in the front row for questioning, want the small children of USA to read!

            Many parents and adults may wonder why pornographic books have been placed in elementary and middle school libraries without majority parental consent.[1]  These books contain words that cannot be said or read on TV without having them be bleeped or censored yet they are placed in elementary schools so that the children can have access to them and read them.  These nasty books are placed into the libraries under the pretence that they are LRGOUQT literature and we must not be bigots where this miniscule percentage of people are concerned!  What these books really are is part of the plan, under Marxism or communism, to program children to become immoral so that they are spoiled and no longer pure, and that they have a harder time relating to each other, to their family, and most importantly to God.  Marxism is worship of the devil, you may not believe me on this, but it is so.  Carl Marx worshiped the devil.

            These are the same people in love with Drag Queen Story Hour and think it is okay to cross dress and be the principal at the same time.

            The real goal of the “educating programmers” of our younglings is to morally degrade them.  The communists want to turn the children away from God and goodness and turn them to the dark side, where Darth Sidious lives!

FATHER DAVID IGNATIUS HAS LAID DOWN THE LAW – by David M. Starsky

            It was back in the 1970’s when my partner and I first met up with Father David Ignatius.  He was in charge of a halfway house of ill repute.  After Hutch and I exposed him in all his evil dirty underwear he was forced to serve time in the big house.  After serving his time he was hired at the Washingten Poles as a journalist.

            After becoming a journalist, Father Ignatius began doing the SEE EYE A’s bidding.  Perhaps the non-intelligence office had something hanging over Ignatius’s neck – like a garlic necklace?  It could be that he is afraid of vampires, who knows?  Ignatius would report whatever the SEE EYE A asked him to report on, weather it was wet, dry or hot. 

            What is the law that Father David Ignatius has laid down?  He has put forth the edict that Joke Biden and K. Harris are not to go on serving the country as they have been pretending to do since February 20, 2021.  They are not to run and hide again; they are to let someone else take over for them.

            Time will tell if the rest of the State Media will follow Ignatius’s lead or not.  Some have and some have not been doing the goose step.  Time will also tell if the DNC will find a replacement for the old coot or not.

            One reason why the contract for a hit has been put forth by his unholy-ness is that the Repubs set up the impeachment inquiry.  I would be worried too since the Spanish Inquisition has been called in to participate in the investigation.  After all, “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition to go easy on Joke Biden!”  Nor should they! 

WORLD INVASION OF USA AND THE LAND – by Hostile Takeover

            ATTENTION USA CITIZENS!!!  While you are busy working and trying to make money for your loved ones and yourself, and taking care of your daily chores the man in charge of your country, Joke Raisonette Biden, is allowing everybody from any country to come over our southern border no matter what excuse they have.  My friends, not everyone coming is crossing the border because they need sanctuary!  THEY ARE LIARS, because they do what Joke Biden does – LIE!  Many come in and go to the border patrol but others sneak in and are in this country and we do not know who they are, where they went, and most importantly, how dangerous they are!  And whoever voted for this man in 2020 is to blame as much as the man himself.

            Thousands of people are coming into USA every day now; it is nonstop.  And down near the Panama Canal are thousands more just waiting to cross over the Darien Gap and come up into Mexico and then USA.  I am telling you – it is not a pretty picture.  And many people have flown there via airplanes from China, Africa and many other places around the world.  They are not just from South America!

            If the people keep streaming in we will no longer have a country, but that is what the insane Leftists (communist pigs) want!  They are also doing actual land grabs.  They are going to take away the farmer’s lands, so who will grow food for us?  They are turning everything they can into a national monument so that companies cannot drill for natural resources.  They are buying up property, like in Maui, that has been burned up!  They are buying houses up too, so that all you can do is rent them out (if you are lucky).  So, where are all the people going to live that they are allowing entrance?  Who knows, I do not think they even care about us (or U.S.).  Why should we matter to them?  To them we are just puppets. 

            The only thing I can think that will solve both problems is to vote a Republican in 2024 so that he or she can begin to undo all the nasty, terrible things that Joke Biden has done since January 20, 2021!  But it is not enough, we must vote out all Dummycrats across the nation – in local counties, states, and yes – in Congress and Senate.  And Mitchum Deodorant McConnell must also be given the boot, no matter what color it may be.

            Another simple thing we could do to help save our country is to have the National Guard, with actual guns and standing on our side of the border, halt the incoming traffic.  And telling them, “Halt, or we’ll shoot.”  If they do not stop then shoot over their heads, they may get the picture.  If they still insist on coming then aim for a leg or two!

            I am questioning Congress too!  Why are they allowing our country to be invaded?  Why don’t they ALL go yell at Joke Biden himself and tell him he better close the border?  Why not grab him and fly him down to the border so that he can see what is really going on (yeah, I know, he really knows what is going on, he has to, unless people around him do not let him watch LOX News)?  Why, are they all chickens?   Or why don’t they ACTUALLY impeach Biden for endangering our country – THE PROOF IS OUT THERE!  All they seem to do is “talk”.  Talk with no action does not get any of us anywhere!  It just allows our country to go down the tubes.

            We also need to shove all their GREEN Agendas up their tight green butts!

KLAPPER AND BRANDON REHIRED – by Eye Spy

            After the Republican Elephants opened up the Joke Raisonette Biden impeachment inquiry Broke O’Bummer has drawn lots of pictures.  He’s almost as good as Hunted Biden!  But to be serious, which I hardly am, O’Bummer brought his old pals and buddies, Bell Klapper and Lesko Brandon, out of retirement from their old deep state positions. 

            The two men are now going back to the State News companies; you know the ones – ZNN and MTNBC.  It is while on the air, and what other drugs they are taking, that they will tell wild and crazy stories about President Donald Trumpet and any other Republicans they can name – in order to try and make Joke Biden look good in the eyes of the country for the 2024 election.

            It is a tough, and some might say “impossible” job to do, but someone loyal to the communist regime has got to do it!  You may be aware of some of Klapper and Brandon’s big hits – The Steel Dossier Is Real, Trumpet Committed a Quid-Pro-Quo, Trumpet’s Imperfect Youk-rangian Phone Call, The Hunted Biden Laptop is Russian Disinformation Letter (with the Norman Tabernacle Choir’s 57 deep dish state performers), Nobody Cheated in the 2020 Election, and Trumpet Organized January Six.

            It does not take much to speculate, but I’m going to do it, that Klapper and Brandon will be feeding the mainstream commie press lies about President Trumpet’s upcoming trials.

            However, the un-dynamic duo will not mention the fact that the See Eye A let Chinaware interfere with the 2020 election, way more than any Russian interference in the 2016 election that took place.  Nor will they mention that the FBI shut down a Biden campaign probe looking into a two million dollar mystery.  (It’s a mystery because I forgot what the two mill is about, sometimes I do not take very good notes!)

JAM IN AUSTIN, TEXTUS – by P. B. N. J.

            It turns out that the police tried to pull over an A. I. taxicab.  I’m not sure how that went.  All I do know is that there was a big A. I. taxicab traffic jam.  Who is really behind the wheel of such vehicles and who gets the traffic ticket (or tickets)?  I am wondering, how does the driver of an A. I. vehicle know that the police are asking them to pull over?  This, of course, followed the A. I. traffic jam problem in San Flancisco earlier in the summer.  Perhaps the A. I. cars just like these types of jams because they are so delicious?

MORE FACTS:

Recently in Berlin, Germany, 1,000 Germans got together and had their picture taken.  Many of them were wearing dog masks.  Perhaps they were all just a bunch of German Shepherds?

On 9/20/2023 over 10,000 illegal aliens entered Eagle Pass, Textus.

On September 23 four hundred seventy-two thousand Venezuelans crossed the southern border.  As recently reported Biden had 114 gates put into the border fence (that President Trumpet installed) for the antelopers.  And this month, of September 2023, he had Feds (probably ordered Border Patrol to do the evil deed) cut the raiser wire so that illegal aliens could sneak in.

After mayors of big sanctuarymuch cities, like Dummycrat Erik Myeye Adam Shame, complained about too many immigrants being sent into their cities, Biden wants to make a “remain in Textus” order for aliens.  Why not just make it “remain in Mexico”?  One thing that seems obvious, the one place that Biden hates more than USA is Textus!

Biden is going to make it okay for one half million Venezuelans to get work permits and keep them safe from deportation.  Can we try Joke Biden for high treason yet?

Joke Biden is not the president of the United States because he is not protecting the border.

RIDDLE ME THIS BATMAN!!! – by The Riddler

What do chubby pirates wear on their bellies?

They wear a Fatty AR-buckle.

FROM THE WASHINGSINS EXAMINER and THE NEW YORKSO TOAST POASTIES

            In August of 2023 there were 230,000 illegal aliens allowed, by Biden’s Department of Homeland Insecurity, to fly directly into 43 US cities. 

            Paul Bandana reports:  “The Biden administration has unleashed a new program to boost illegal immigration that allows immigrants to fly directly from their hometowns into a U.S. city of their choice.”  There is an app to make all of this possible.  Over 230,000 people have been processed since January of this year.

            In March, Maryann Martini, from New Yorkso’s fine paper reported:  “Drug cartels likely caused wild United States-Mexican bridge chaos to distract from their crimes.”  Yet, the same exact thing happened this month when many people entered Textus (averaging 10,000 per day). 

            Joke Biden does not care about the drugs or the human trafficking or who any illegal alien is, because, there are no background checks being made.  Terror cells have been allowed entrance.  Two children this week (one was a three year old boy) died on the other side of the southern border.[2]  Biden has blood on his hands and he cannot wash it off! 

            Bidden blames the Republicans for all these border problems because, he says, they shot down his policy on it (what he gave them in January 2021).  But he did not have to stop at one submission; he could have gone back to work (a thing he seems unfamiliar with) and resubmitted what he wanted to do.  Plus, he did not have to sign all of those Executive Orders that did away with Trumpet policies on January 20, 2021!  But he did not even try to return to Congress, because it is easier to blame the Republicans than to fix a problem he did not really want to fix (he just wanted to exasperate it and blame the Republicans for his dirty work).  If memory serves us all right – which it should – he had Senate and House control during his first two years – so what is he really saying?  It seems to me that it would be his own party that shot him in the foot.  Maybe this is why he falls down a lot?

ABBOTT TIME! – by N. Vasion

            Good news for those United States citizens living in Textus, their governor, Hey Abbott, finally declared an invasion.  What took him so long?  This may give him the power to actually do something that Biden’s administration cannot challenge him on or do anything about.  We can only hope, but I’m not going to hold my breath, because, I would probably turn blue!  And that’s the last thing I would ever want to do!

            In the mean time, Abbott needs to get on the ball doing something else.  Recently, nasty little boogers (who happen to be Dummycrats) made it impossible for the Textus Athorney General to investigate voter fraud.  The A. G. is trying to change this, but he doubts that he will be able to do so before the next election.  Hey Abbott, get on this and do something about it!  Whoever came up with this nasty little trick needs to be kicked out of their positions, maybe arrest them and put them in a dark and dingy jail cell somewhere.

THE CLINTONS ARE AT IT AGAIN! – by Dough Na’Sion

            On September 15, 2023, while the United Nations was having a gig take place in New Yorkso City (no not their annual “hooker convention”) five minutes away Billiard Ball and Hilariously Rotten Clinton were having a donation get together.  They announced their program to rebuild Youkrang, the New Haiti, even though the war is far from over.  Perhaps the couple wishes to get a head start on the project, being that neither one of them is getting any younger.  They are calling their new project, “The Clinton Global Initiation Youkrang Action Network”.  The World Bank is in bed with them and some early investors include actor Matt Demon, Live Subscriber, the Ford Theatre Foundation, and Air Bud BNB.  Biden says that the United States is sending the World Bank $25 million.  So the World Bank will send this on to the Clintons and the Clintons will send the money to Youkrang.  Or will they?

            Joke Biden appointed Dummycrat mega donor to Youkrang for economic reconstruction.  Her name is Penny Pressedskirt.  She was the formal Secretary of Commerce under O’Bummer.  She is also a billionaire heiress of high-end hotels.  While she was the Commerce Secretary she traveled to Youkrang three times.  In fact, she hand delivered the taxpayer’s money to the country.  You know, the same money that Biden leveraged to get the prosecutor fired who was looking into the Barerissma oil company (the one that Hunted was working for at the time).  You know, when an actual Quid-Pro-Quo took place!

PERUVIAN ALIENS ORDERED TO REMAIN IN MEXICO – by Venus De Alieno

            For once Mexico is stopping aliens from coming into USA!  But it is no big deal as these two aliens are DEAD.  They’ve been dead for at least a thousand years.  They died in Peru but they are actual aliens from outer space.  They have been named Clairese and Marios Speed Wagon by Mexican scientists.  After x-raying the couple the scientists said that Clairese was pregnant when she died. 

            Both bodies are short, very short, even Greg Gutfelt is taller than they are.  They also have three fingers instead of five.  Their heads are big.  In fact, they look and resemble the alien known as E.T. from the movie E.T. that was produced and directed by Stephen Spilledburg.  Was he privy to information that the rest of us were not?

CLIMATE FARCE GOES ON – by Hottie Temperature

            In a recent speech that Joke Biden gave he actually said that a rise of 1.5 degrees over the next ten years is way more dangerous to the world than a nuclear war would be.  He’s so full of it (whatever “it” is, probably bologna)!  His statement makes it clear that he knows nothing about physical science, as a nuclear war would actually cause a nuclear winter where everything would freeze and die!  I guess he likes the cold better than the heat.

            There may actually be some hope for billionaire Build D. Gates!  This week he said that, “There’s a lot of climate exaggeration.”  Bloomburger and Prince William, two other prominent men who use male pronouns, have come forward in their opinions about the climate farce.


[1] We later heard, after writing this article, that some weirdo activist parents wanted these books in the school libraries.

[2] Three people died while trying to cross during a three-day period.

THE GIGOLO GANDER – August 2023

Idiotor: Gigolo Joe

Ass. Idiotor: Amanda Jean Turncoat

August of wind, 2023 Edition

NUTFLEX’S LOST IN SPACE – by

R. U. Serious?

            Well, I began to watch the series LOST IN SPACE, that NUTFLEX has in their line up, and I liked it so I kept watching.  To my chagrin I should not have kept watching it.  I’m telling you that the scriptwriters were out on strike before the strike even began!  How could the characters of the show, supposed to be so smart, be so stupid?  They were stupid when it came to knowing that Dr. Smith, not really Dr. Smith at all, was a bad, a very bad, woman!  And then after they found out the truth it is like they neglected to warn everybody else about her not being Dr. Smith! 

            How could the pioneers (there were other people stranded on the planet besides the Robinson family and Dr. Smith) not have figured out that the perimeter fence was turned off (by Dr. Smith) when wild beasts showed up?  They did not even investigate the perimeter fence.  How could they not know that Dr. Smith was manipulating them?  Why would the Robinson parents, after telling the children to stay away form Dr. Smith (who was locked in a garage closet), not tell their children to stay away from Dr. Smith because of her forked tongue and how she manipulates everybody with her lies?  Why did they not tell their youngest son, Will, that Dr. Smith, not Dr. Smith at all, is a liar and not to be trusted because nothing she says is the truth.  Perhaps the robot, not Robbie the Robot, would have been important in getting this information across to Will had not Dr. Smith manipulated Will into destroying said robot?  But then the robot would have only said, “Danger, Will Robinson!”

            So, what is so stupid about all of it is that Dr. Smith knew that the planet everybody was stranded on was going to burn up, or something bad would happen to it because of some black hole thing.  But she did everything in her power to sabotage everything they did to get off the planet, except for Dr. Judy who caused them to loose most of the fuel in order to save a man’s life, and he wound up dead anyway.  So, why would she sabotage EVERYTHING?  Did she actually have a death wish for herself and everybody else on the horrible planet?  It just did not make any sense at all!

            So now that I completed season one, I will not be watching any more.  I will just assume that it was only a one-season series and that everybody on the planet died because the scriptwriters wanted it that way and they are big fat jerks!

COCAINE SHARKS – by Hammer Head

            Dope smugglers, traveling in planes, have dumped their cargo’s of dope rather than get caught by the authorities.  They’ve thrown their stash out of the plane while over the Atlantic Ocean near the coast of Florida.  And it turns out that sharks are ripping into the packages and getting stoned on the drugs.  They begin to act weird, and this may account for more recent shark attacks on people.

            However, you may ask, if sharks are snorting coke, then what about the other sea creatures in the area?  Are the drugs affecting them too?  And what happens to the animals when they need a fix and can’t get one?

            A group of scientists are experimenting on these sharks, placing fish powder in packages and placing them on the bottom of the ocean floor.  This makes me wonder what fish powder even is, and I bet the sharks are very disappointed when they find out that the packages do not contain cocaine.  They probably go into wild frenzies. 

OTHER NOT SO FAMOUS QUOTES

            “I’ll tell you why I could never be a lawyer.  It’s because I could never pass the bar.” – Dean Martin

            “I went to the cheapest school in the world.  They taught Drivers Ed and Sex Ed in the same car.” – Richard Cunningham

            “Lecturing us [WE THE PEOPLE] over white privilege is like having Alec Baldwin lecturing someone on gun safety.” – Senator John Kennedy

CHUNG LEE CONFUSION

            When a conspiracy theory is no longer a theory it becomes a conspiracy.

            When Joe Biden take spin class during Lake Tahoe vacation he is not on stationary bicycle, he is taking “Spinning Stories” refresher’s course.  (Not that he need practice.)

AMISH MUSH STORY – by Count Chocula

            The FDA has been hiding its ongoing health study of the Amish people because they do not want the truth to come out.  What is the truth?  Well, it turns out that thanks to their diet the Amish people are way healthier than regular Americans.  The Amish do their own farming and raise their own vegetables; they do not eat processed foods.  One Amish man walks a mile everyday because he does not have a camel.

            Now John Kerry-Heinz, and family, wants our school children to eat processed foods for lunch.  The KRAFTY LUNCHABLES, now with fresh fruit (grapes, pineapple chunks, apple slices, and oh my Darling Clementine slices,) in every package of fake meat, fake cheese, and crackers, are now available in the lunch line, along with Mike Obummer’s fruit juice (not juice at all).

BIDEN TURNS THE GRAND CANYON INTO A NATIONAL MONUMENT – by Justin Other Trick

            On August 8, 2023, Joke Biden turned the Grand Canyon into a national monument on porpoise.  His reason being that once it is a national monument there can be no more mining in the area, not even for uranium, which we really need for power plants, nuclear powered submarine sandwiches, low emission electricity, and medical radioactive treatments.  We have very low uranium stockpiles.  We import most of the uranium, 95%, from other countries like Kazakysacky (21,227 metric tons), Russia here and there (2,408) Canada Dry (1,351), Australia (4,687), Uzbekistan (3,300), India (600) and others (483).

            The company ROSATOM’s (which sounds like an antacid but isn’t) has been gobbling up Ukerangian’s nuclear plants.  They also took over Canada’s uranium company URAINONIAN who donated millions of dollars to the Clinton Foundation when Hurricane Hilariously Rotten was Secretary of State for Obummer.

            While at the Grand Canyon Joke Biden had a softball interview with some woman from the Weather Channel (which is owned by a leftist loon).  The Weather Channel owner is more interested in climate change garbage than he is in uranium charged materials for the country.

FUDGING THE BORDER NUMBERS – by Cindy Addingmachine

            Once more the Biden Administration is fibbing to USA citizens when it comes to how many illegal aliens are coming across the southern border.  In fact, Bidden has been flying in some folk from countries like Venezuela, Cuba, Haiti, and Nicaragua (who are not being counted).  They have not been counting any of the people that have been using Bidden’s phone app either.  Talk about finding new ways of sweeping people under the rug.  Are you going to believe anything that comes out of that man’s mouth?  Bidden speaks with a forked tongue, pretty much like Dr. Smith does!

PSEU-PSEU-PSEUDONYM and BIG FANNIES – by S. N. E. Body Interested?

            It turns out that when Joke Biden was Vice President he was known under the pseudonym of Robert L. Peters.[1]  He used this fake name in order to try and keep his contacts and messages hidden, you know the illegal stuff, so that nobody would catch on that he was doing the illegal stuff (like RICO violations).  But why did he use the name Robert L. Peters?  Well, Robert is Joke’s middle name.  We are not sure why he used the middle initial of “L”, it probably stands for “Liar”.  “Peters” seems to be a wishful desire of his, as he is a Dick in many things that he does.  This email evidence of the use of this pseudonym happens to prove that Joke Biden commingled a lot of phone calls, e-mails, and business deals with foreigners.

            It also turns out that Joke Biden really has committed real RICO crimes.  This holds true to the old adage that the Dummycrats accuse their opponents (seen as enemies, even if they are handsome guys) of committing the crimes and actions that they actually are guilty of doing.  Is this not why, in August 2023, Joe Biden had Georgia Peaches’s Full-on County’s District Athorney Big Fat Fanny Willis bring up RICO charges on President Donald Trumpet?  We, here at the Gander, believe this is why she did so.  Also, it is a political game for her, because she is going to be running for office again. 

            Ms Big Butt Fanny Willis has a total of 19 people named in the indictment, with 41 felony counts and having it be 91 pages long.  One of the mentioned demanded a speedy trial, so he will be sentenced and tried alone.  Hopefully, this will cause Willis problems in the future.  Fanny’s list follows (many are lawyers):

TOP OF THE TICKET – President Donald John Trumpet

Rudolf “the Rednose Reindeer” Julianifries (the last good mayor that New York City has had in a very long time)

John Charles Eastman Kodak

Mark Tony Randal Meadows

John Cheerios

Jeffrey Clarkbar

Jeana Lynn Ellis Chile

Ray Stalling D. Karr, the Third

Robert David Chile (no relation to Jeana)

Michael A. Roman Centurion

David James Paul Schaffer

Sean Micro Treasure Steel

Stephen Clifford Red Dog

Harrison William Pressedcod Floyd

Trivial Pursuit Cuddies

Sidney Australia Powel

Kathleen Austin Lithiumbattery

Scott Grahamcracker Hall

Misty Hampton, a.k.a., Emily Misty Haze (for real)

            The thing is, none of these people broke a law, little loan the RICO law.  What is Willis’s big butt complaint about Trumpet and friends?  Well, it is that they complained about the 2020 presidential election, that things happened around the country that gave Joke Biden the win.  It is not illegal to ask questions about an election or try to get recounts; in fact, it is the right of the USA citizen and president to do so!  If it is now illegal then the following people should also be charged for the same crimes:

Kamala Hairyass

Hilariously Rotten Clinton

President Jimmy Peanut Carter

John Kerry-Heinz

Stay C. Abrams (who believes that she was voted in as president of the Federation in the Star Trek universe)

(and many journalists and some celebrities)

            During the time that Willis has been District of Athorney for Full-on County there have been 200 homicides and 250 rapes – yet getting President Trumpet in her cross hairs has been her top priority, in fact, it is what she advertised doing in order to get votes to get her job.  I have to wonder who backed her campaign?  Was it George Soreass?  And this year she is doing it again, in hopes that the people in her district will vote for her, as she has already announced her running for re-election.  (If this is so, then how could President Trumpet even get a fair trial, as the jury pool has been pooped in.)  The fix is in folks, as the judge assigned to this case use to have Big Fanny Willis as a boss!  As Bill and Ted would say, “The whole thing is BOGUS.”

            All I know is I keep hearing Gary Coleman asking, “What you talkin’ bout, Willis?”

            Another odd thing that happened on August 14, 2023 in regards to the Georgia Peaches indictment, is that it appeared early in the day on the Internet before the Grand Jury had even met to vote in order to reach a conclusion!  Willis’s people claimed it was a mistake and took it down, however, it was a perfect match to how the Grand Jury voted later on in the day.  How is this possible?  Was there a mind reading clerk who knew exactly what was going to be voted on by the Jury?  Or did this pre-indictment instruct the Grand Jury how to vote later on in the day?  All I can say is that something smells bad in Full-on County, Georgia Peaches, and it’s not rotten eggs.  Fanny is also bringing in evidence from six other states, even though she is in charge of only Full-on County in Georgia Peaches.  She is really a big fanny!  This is major over reach and it may be her downfall.  We can hope it is.

            President Trumpet and the others were ordered to report to the courthouse on August 25th, before high noon, one and a half days after the first Republican debate.  Fanny also wants a mugshot taken of Trumpet, so she can look at his face every time she takes a sip of coffee; she secretly is in love (fixated) with Donald.[2]

UPDATE:  On August 24, 2023, at 19:40 (that’s 7:40 p.m.) President Donald J. Trumpet reported to the jail and turned himself in.  They electronically fingerprinted him, which is nice, as you don’t get black ink all over your fingers.  They also took a mugshot of him.  He does not look very happy, in fact, he looks angry and perturbed.  One radio host said President Trumpet looked like he had a lot of testosterone and this scared and frightened the Left, as they are not use to seeing men with testosterone anymore.

            Yet President Trumpet has taken a cue from the Left – never let a good tragedy or disaster go to waste.  So he is marketing the “mugshot” and plastering it on T-shirts, coffee mugs and other items to make money to help defend him in court.  As Greg Gutfelt would say, “You go, Boy!”  Did Trumpet copyright his own mugshot?  Now that would be funny!

            Needless to say, but I am anyway, the Leftist loons are very unhappy about the mugshot’s backfire.

FAST X YOUR SEATBELT – Movie Review – by Gigolo Joe

            Just be sure that you want to spend time watching this flick, because it does not end, you will need to watch FAST X YOUR SEATBELT TOO

            Originally I know Jason Mommyoa from Starplate Atlantic Cod.  But then he moved on to the much bigger cinnamon roll known as the King of the Sea.  In this movie he plays an evil crazy dude.  His character is interesting, but I was tired of him by the end of the movie, and I’m not sure I want to see him in the second part – but I probably will see him and it eventually.

            Also, the main character is actor Van Diesel Fuel.  And then there is a cast of regulars (from previous F&F movies), even Clint Westwood’s son pops up.  The Rock of Gibraltar is only in the very end, after some credits have rolled, so he will probably be in the next installment.

            I figure that at the end of the movie Dom said, “Dam!”  And his son probably echoed his reaction.  Dom’s dead brother, played by John Seneca, probably said, “Heaven, not Hell, please!”

            Two of the characters were sent to a prison in Antarctica, but they escaped.  A nuclear submarine broke the ice, it reminded me of Starplate Special K:  Continuum.  Which made me wonder, how many times the submarine actually surfaced in order to get the shot just right?

            Well, I really do not want to spoil all the fun if you have not seen the movie yet.  But there is, like always, a lot of action, car stuff, and fighting.  I rate this movie:  X – for Elong Musket.

CARBON SUCKING FACTORIES – by FNN’s Victoria Nuze

            Joke Biden has another way to spend taxpayer’s money.  He wants to build factories with giant filters, that suck air threw them, in order to clean the carbon from the air.  I have to ask if these filters are using seaweed?  If so, there is a congressman’s wife making big money from this deal!  And think of all the people that may starve when this big sushi item is no longer available to make rolls from because it is all being used for the giant suckers!

            The only problem, besides these filtering systems using every bit of green energy that has ever been created (including nuclear), is that eventually the filters need to be replaced.  So what happens to the used dirty filters?  The plan is to bury them in the ground, which will cause the ground around it to be polluted and the carbon could get into our water supply.  This sort of reminds me of what happened to the ground in season 2 of Stranger Things, in dealing with the “upside down” stuff – making rotten and fly infested pumpkins.  And who caused that problem?  The government did!  It certainly seems that the real problems behind climate change is that our government causes most of the problems, more than Mother Nature does!  Just ask the surviving people from Maui.

            It will cost around $1,000 just to collect one ton of carbon.  This means it will cost $100,000 just to collect (or suck up) 100 tons of carbon from the air.  But if Biden put his mouth around a giant straw, perhaps he could suck up the carbon air at a cheaper cost?

            For once, I find myself in agreement with the United Nations!  During a May 2023 meeting, a panel said that the filter idea, or the sucker factory, is technologically and economically unproven and it poses unknown environmental developments and that there could be social risks.  But the Joke Biden Administration wants to do it at all costs.  And it will cost us; it will cost us all!

            So who does Joke Biden think are the real suckers?  USA citizens.  After all, many citizens were suckered into voting for the man in 2020.  Will they allow themselves to remain being the same suckers?  Will they vote for the guy again in 2024, because, he has locked up and thrown away the key to the cell of his political opponent?  Some people say this type of political warfare only happens in banana republics, but a wise woman said that it actually happens in communist countries.  And she is right.  It is time that we stop saying that our country is being run like a banana republic when our leaders are really leading us with communism and running us into communism.

            Remember the fake uproar over Russian conspiracy between Trumpet and Puttinonizclothes?  It turns out that FBI agent McGonagall (no relation to Professor McGonagall) is the one who accused Trumpet of conspiracy with Russia when McGonagall was the one conspiring and using dis-information and handing it over to H. R. Clinton, or rather, perhaps, doing her bidding and then handing it over to her (even though it was all lies and fake information).

THE FIVE LIES RECENTLY TOLD BY JOKE BIDEN – by Fiber McGee N. Molly

            Joke Biden recently was on stage somewhere talking to people who were actually listening to the dude.  I have to wonder if crowds like that really are listening to him or just pretending to listen to him?  What is going on in their minds if they are listening and thinking that what Biden says is remotely factual?

Lie #1 – Wages and salaries are rising for American workers

Lie #2 – Biden has created more jobs than any other modern president

Lie #3 – America is producing record amounts of oil and gas

Lie #4 – Biden reduced the budget deficit by $1.7 trillion

Lie #5 – Gas prices have fallen under Biden

            These lies only become true with the five following truths:

Truth #1 – Wages and salaries are rising for American workers slower than meal without leaven, slower than a sloth moving in a tree, slower than molasses pours out of a jar, well, you get the point.

Truth #2 – Biden has created more jobs than any other modern president, unfortunately those jobs are for arms dealers, the Mexican Cartels and Chinese chemical factories.

Truth #3 –America is not producing record amounts of oil and gas because of Biden; especially after his first day in the Oval Office, when he signed those executive orders.  Do any of the people, who were working on the pipeline, even have a job?

Truth #4 – Biden reduced the budget deficit by $1.7 trillion but simultaneously raised it over $4 trillion.

Truth #5 – Gas prices have fallen under Biden’s control, manipulation and power because of Truth #3.

            What does President Trumpet say to all of Biden’s false claims of economical success?  “We have the most corrupt and most incompetent president in U. S. history.”

VIVEK RAMASWAMYWAMY FOR PRESIDENT – by Amanda Jean Turncoat

            While at the Iowa Lottamoney State Fair a woman spoke to Vivek Ramaswamywamy about LRGBOUQT ideals.  He coined a new phrase during his conversation with the young woman.  He told her that he was against “tyranny of the minority” – in other words, he is against the LRGBOUQT society trying to use tyrannical methods against the majority of people in order to get their way, in order to get good, honest, hard working people fired from their jobs when they have done nothing wrong, about how they are trying to force little children to have sex changes when these children do not need sex changes.

            All kidding aside, on the sir name I gave Vivek, I really do like this man, and perhaps he would make a really good president?  He actually wants to put America first, while Joke Biden and the Dummycrats, as Mark Levine puts it, hate America.

            However, there are a lot of other good candidates running.  One of them is not Crisp Crispy.

EXTRA, EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT IT!  SAM BANKMAN FRAUD IS NO LONGER FREID!

            That’s right, Sam Bankman Fraud is no longer a free man, his bail was revoked because of his shenanigans that took place while he was on house arrest at his parent’s mansion.  He will have to remain in jail up until his trial and hopefully during his trial.

CAUSE AND EFFECT – by Skiff Finney

            Before the 2022 election the DOJ (short for Department of Jerks) was well aware of mysterious files taken from the White House and Senate skiffs by Joke Biden while he was a Senator and Vice President.  It was all kept hush-hush. 

            On August 8, 2022 the FBI raided Mara Large-O in order to recover files that President Trumpet had.  That same weekend Biden headed to South Carolina for a vacation, so that he would not have to make any comments about the raid. But what is of importance is that the people put in charge of Trumpet’s special council investigation were guests at the WH before the FBI raid took place – they were coordinating the raid with each other – the “Big Cheese Guy” as head honcho!

            Hunter Biden gets into some trouble with Congress’s Committee so Joke Biden has Trumpet arrested in NYC and indicted for a fake crime.  Then Joke goes to Rehoboth Beach (again, so he does not have to make any public comments).

            Devon Sagittarius Archer testifies to the same committee and his testimony proves that Joe Biden lied about not knowing about Hunted’s business deals, as Hunted made many phone calls to “Dad” while at dinner with his contacts and glasses of wine.  On August 1, 2023 Trumpet is indicted over January 6, 2021 by Jackass Smith.  That weekend Joke Biden goes to the beach again (again, no comments).

            Not long after, even though the fix is in, Athorney General Garlic Maryland assigns David Un Weise as special council head to investigate Hunted Biden, even though David Un Weise has already screwed up the job assigned to him by Athorney General Bill Bad Bar, when Trumpet was still president.  Get this, David Un Weise got his job by being nominated by two democrat politicians, yet the media complains that this lawyer is a Trumpet appointee without any mention of the two democrat politicians.  Too bad Trumpet let this one go through (Un Weise of Trumpet to do)!  David Un Weise LOVES to let the Statute of Limitations run out on Hunted Biden crimes.  Perhaps it is because he used to be friends to Hunted’s brother Beau Enarrow Biden (no wonder Devon Sagittarius Archer fit in well with this family)?

HUNTED FLIES ON AF-2 MORE THAN EIGHT TIMES – by Delta Southwest

            When Joke Biden was Vice President he flew on AF-2, the VP plane, more than eight times, could be up to thirteen.  He did his little business trips so that he could do his pay-for-play schemes with the “Big Banana Guy”.  He went to Germancake (2/2013), Japananplate (12/2013), Chinaware (12/2013), South Korningware and the Filipines.  When he was in Seoul he announced the Hunted Biden Chow-down of the Word Food Program (a humanitarian cover story).  He also journeyed to Italy in April 2016, such countries as Serbia (5/2016), and Madrid.  In 2016 he went to Mexico City where he met up with the president, Carlos Slimy.

            Hunted has flown on AF-1 to Ireland (July 2023) and other places.  None of these “business meetings” created one job and the “talking weather” is an international falsehood.  Where did the Biden family get all their money from – that went through hell, I mean, shell companies, and then into various family bank accounts, also off-Paulie-Shore accounts?  What did the foreign buyers get in return? 

            Sixty percent of USA people believe that Hunted and Joke Biden have been in business together.  You forty percent need to wake up!

NANCY PELONO’S JANUARY SIX COMMITTEE COVER UP – by May Baleen

            Now that President Donald J. Trumpet has subpoena power on voting information and January 6, 2021 guess who has, illegally I add, begun to destroy documents?  That’s right – the January Six Committee has been deleting and loosing or shredding two years of investigation of thousands and thousands of government documents, transcriptions and hours and hours of deposition videos.  The law would have required the Committee to hand over whatever President Trumpet’s legal team requested.  But as of August 9, 2023 the January Six Committee has destroyed almost 50% of their evidence, missing 2.5 terabytes of data.  Records of Capital Hill Security failures, e-mails, videos of Trumpet’s cabinet dispositions, text messages are just gone!  Who knows what else they have destroyed.  This evidence was to be warehoused and archived.  What they did is a crime, a felony.  Whoever is responsible, needs to be charged with felonies!  They do not want the truth to come out at all.  What they have done is OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE and it proves that the January 6th Committee was a farce, they were nothing but a kangaroo court.

            To make things worse for Trumpet, Jackass Smith has broke into Trumpet’s Twit (now “X”) account on the sly (secretly).  Once more, the FIX IS IN!!!  In the court case, both the play-tent and the defend-tent are supposed to have copies of all information – going to individuals with subpoenas.  What the Congressional Committee has done is a crime!  Whoever is behind this must be punished.

            In the meantime nothing ever happens to dirty, crooked, old-man Joke Biden!  THE FIX IS IN!!!  Garlic Maryland appoints a dirty athorney as special council and just this week another Hunted Biden statute of limitations has expired (smelling rancid like old milk).  Then Jackass claims that President Trumpet is a flight risk, just because he has sprouted wings (he loves to drink Red Bull)!  In the mean time, the man appointed as special council to Biden’s stolen security files case is no where to be found, all we hear from him is crickets and grasshoppers.

            Everything that the LEFT is doing to Trumpet, the indictments and court cases, is election interference.  They are the ones committing the crimes they have accused President Trumpet of committing! What with all four cases against Trumpet – they will have him in court most of 2024 – this is why it is election interference!

FLORIDA’S MONTY PYTHONS – by Snake N. DeGrass

            Right now, down in Florida, there is a contest or challenge.  Whoever locates and kills the largest python snake will win $10,000!  But be aware that these snakes are dangerous.  If they coil around your body they can strangle you to death after singing a lovely lullaby to you, “Trust in me!”  Those pythons must be Dummycrats!  HAH!!!

THE ANTI-LOPERS – by Joly Fence

            Joke Biden has done it again; he has made the border even more insecure.  What has he done this time?  He has had people weld open holes, calling them gates, in the border fence.  There are now 114 gates open so that antelopes can leave USA or return to USA with no problems.  Yet, the antelopes have turned out to be illegal people (non citizens of USA) crossing into our country.  So, Nancy Pilono, guess what?  Walls actually do work, for antelopes anyways, and until a bunch of gates are put into them.  Recently 42,000 illegal aliens have crossed into Aridzona through the open gates, there is little to no security at these gates (they are unmanned).  The truth is that the real antelopes don’t need to go to Mexico, only 200 miles of border wall exists, and the antelopes could easily run around the fence.

            Also, the fencing materials that Trumpet got to finish the fence that Biden canceled the first day in office, has been rusting away on rancher’s properties.  This fencing was bought and paid for by USA citizens (taxpayers).  What is Joke Biden doing now?  He is taking that fence material and selling it at auction for a real low price (compared to how much taxpayers paid for the steel)! No matter, Joke Biden is stealing our steel!

            Joke Biden is a CON ARTIST without any artistry involved.  He leaves the artistry up to his son, Hunted.

BIDEN TARGETS ELONG MUSKET – by Rocket D. Raccoon

            Some jerk, that has dual citizenship with Australia and Canadada, decided to complain about Cindy SpaceX’s hiring decisions.  Did this man have citizenship with USA?  NO.  Did he have a green card, yellow card, or blue card in USA?  NO.  But he complained anyway – stating that Musket would not hire anyone but USA citizens to work at Cindy SpaceX.

            Because of this, and because Biden and the Left now hate Elong Musket (because he bought Twitchy and exposed their sins and crimes), they decided to go after the man and his company, even though USA law requires at least a green card to be hired at Cindy SpaceX, as rockets are considered advanced weapons technology.  So Musket is following the law, but the Left law-breakers decided to amend the law a couple months ago and now are going to punish Musket for following the law going back years because he did not have the foresight to see that they would modify the law in order to trap him!  Who is really breaking the law if this law was modified to allow non-citizens of USA to work at a rocket producing company?  I think you know who is breaking the law!  Also, wouldn’t this modification to a good and proper law allow Chineseware spies to work at the company?  Who is looking out for our better interests?  Not Biden, the same man who sold out to the Chineseware back in 2013.

SIDE NOTE – A Sharp:  Elong Musket has given up the name of Twitchy and re-branded the company as X.

ODE TO BOB BARKER – by Cheyenne Squaw

            Bob Barker was a game show host on Truth or Consequences and The Price is Just Right.  Bob also popped up on The Match Game (not a dating show) from time to time.  He left this sad world on August 26th just short of 100 years.  Bob happened to be an Indian, you know what we are now forced to call Native American.

            As a child I had a mild crush on Bob.  He was so cute!  Perhaps I thought so because I was always on the side of the Indians in the old Western movies?  My uncle, who is half Indian, used to say he was a Blackfoot Indian because he had a black foot.  But I am pretty sure he is not a Blackfoot, because I saw his bare feet and they were not black.  Anyway, I use to watch Bob (spelled backwards, Bob) on TV and enjoy his jokes and his cute face.

            As Bob’s old friend Johnny Olson might say from heaven (if he is in heaven, I do not know that Johnny Olson is still not alive, but if he were in heaven, Johnny would most definitely say), “Bob Barker, COME ON UP!!!”


[1] It turns out that Joke has at least two other pseudonyms.  One of the pseudonyms happens to be Emperor Palpatine; the other is Lord Voldemort.  Just kidding!  His real pseudonyms are J. R. B. Ware (as in Beware) and Robin (as in thief) Ware.

[2] Is it not fortunate that Fanny Willis can get her coffee mug of Trumpet from Trumpet’s own line of products?

GIGOLO GANDER 2023

Idiotor:  Gigolo Joe                                                                 Edition: Post Elections and New Year

Assistant Idiotor:  Amanda Jean Turncoat

Idiotor’s note (B Sharp):  The following Gigolo Gander has a mixture of un-posted old articles with newer articles.

Scene from Monty Python’s Life of Brian

            The following lines are from the 1980’s movie Life of Brian, not to be confused with Let’s Go Byron.  It seems as if the comedy troop of Monty Python were ahead of their time, almost prophetic!  Three men and a woman sit in Jewish cloths from the time that Jesus was beginning his mission.  They are like a group of protesters in their day.  And then one of them says:

Eric Idol:  I want to be a woman.  From now on I want you all to call me Loretta.

Woman (sorry I do not know her name):  Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?

Eric Idol:  I want to have babies.

John Cleese:  You want to have babies?!

Eric Idol:  It’s every man’s right to have babies if he wants them.

John Cleese:  But, you can’t have babies!

Eric Idol:  Don’t you oppress me.

End scene.

            This could be a real conversation today; only Eric Idol would be a Leftist!

FACT:  Elong Musk, being a citizen of the United States of America, is an African American.  Think about it!

OUR TOP STORY THIS MONTH – by Poppy Boyington

            The first week of February 2023 had a Chinese spy balloon traveling over USA (pronounced OOSA).  It took a week or more before our military grew a pair and made the call to pop it like a pimple.  Below is a picture taken by our own photographer Phil “Blownup” Lazy.

            USA should have taken out the balloon when it was floating over the Pacific, like I and my Black Sheep took out those Japanese Zeros during the W. W. – Two!  Augh, those were the days, my glory days! 

            Oddly, the jet in the foreground has no pilot!  It must be on automatic pilot!

            To make everybody in their administration feel better about the very late takeout order of Chinese balloon, the Biden Administration decided to lie and say that there had been three different Chinese balloons floating over the States during the Trumpet Administration.  However, it turns out that no such accounts ever took place!  THEY LIE!!!  THEY LIE CONSTANTLY!!!  It is said, through the grapevine, that these three accounts were actually old UFO sightings that took place during the Trumpet years and they just changed the reports to switch out UFO with CWB (not for the network of Warner Brothers, but for Chinese Weather Balloon)!  To be honest, the only reason why the balloon was even taken out is because the whole country was mad about it not being destroyed and Biden needed to look good before his February 7th State of the Union Address.

            It could be, however, that China’s intentions were totally peaceful, that they were just looking over or scouting out potential farmland and ranch land that they want to purchase from USA.  This raises a question:  Should it not be illegal for foreign countries to buy land in USA?

UPDATE: On February 10, 2023, Biden gave the order to shoot down a UFO off the coast of Alasakatomorrahowitwent.

UPDATE AGAIN:  Two more UFO’s (smaller China aircraft?) have been shot down after February 10th.  One was over Canada’s Yukanpotatoes (2/11/23), and the other over Lake Hurontheair (2/12/23).  This is no laughing matter USA people need answers!

REPUBLICANS TAKE THE HOUSE OUT FOR DINNER!!! – by Betty Crackers

            Although it took fifteen votes to vote in Keven McCarthy, no relative to Andy or Charlie, they finally voted him in as Speaker, ruff, ruff, of the Dog House.  Matthew Water Gates and the congresswoman from Riflegun, Colorado, finally voted present.  They never did vote for McCarthy.

            The best news of the election is that Nancy Pilono is OUT!  She is still in Congress but she will not be the Dummycrat’s leader any more.  Rumor has it that she may take an ambassador and window placement in Italy, so she can be close to her Pope.  However, the man they are replacing her with (as head of the Dummycrats) is worse than she is, he’s a real Jeffry-Tube.  He is a far-far leftist; his dad likes Louis Fairy-con!  They don’t even try to hide their fascism/communism ways anymore.

            The bad news is that Kevin McCarthy House Speaker (of Wolf and Tweeter) is going to have a rough time getting things passed in the Senate (them being more than half dummycratic)..

            Right off the bat, one of the Republican committees announced that they were going to investigate Joe Biden and son and bros in their illegal business dealings with China, and other foreign nations.  But the DOJ is not going to cooperate, nor the FBI or the CIA.  Let’s just hope that the Republicans will actually do some good legal stuff while in office and stop doing what the Dummycrats want them to do!  Here is hoping, but I will not hold my breath that Mitchum Deodorant McConnell will stop sucking up to Biden and his socialistic/communistic ilk, I would pass out.

            More good news is that Adam Schiffty and Eric Swelledhead are now off of the intelligence committee do to the fact that they both are big liars (the seat of their pants are really hot).  Even though they are both leakers, it does not help cool their pants off any.  Not to mention, but I have to, that neither one of them are intelligent people!  They both cried like babies in front of the pressed hams and turkeys, saying that it was wrong to be thrown away and that McCarthy is a big fat dummy, even though they both know that Kevin is no relation to Charlie!  They also claimed that McCarthy did it all out of revenge because Nan-Nan took Jordan Almonds and his friend off the January sixth committee, but it was not revenge, it was due to the fact that both men are just dirty rotten scoundrels!

            Other good news is that Illham Omar is no longer on the international affairs committee.  This is because she is a hater of Jews and has never hidden this fact from John Q. Public.  You remember her; she is the one who married her own brother so that he could sneak into USA under false pretenses.  But her squad of congress female cats all stood up to protest her removal.  They too cried, they cried that it was all do to prejudice on the part of the GLOP, no it was all do to the prejudice on Illham’s part!

PRESIDENT TRUMPET THROWS HIS MAGA CAP INTO THE RING – by Earnest Hummingway

            On November 15, 2022, President Donald Trumpet announced that he was going to run for president, again, for 2024.  He did not even wait until after December’s Georgia runoff to announce.  The people present at Mar-A-Large-O were happy as clams.  But the Dummycrats were probably not happy, but they were not sweating bullets, because on November 18, 2022, Biden’s Athorney General Garlic Merryland, announced that he was appointing a special counsel to investigate President Trumpet.  The investigation will go into January 6, 2021 (they just can’t get enough of this one) and the “classified” documents stolen by the FBI from Mar-A-Large-O last summer.  Who was the man appointed as special counsel?  Well, he went after the Tea Party members to try and legally dig up dirt on them.  Why he wanted to go after our forefathers is another question!

            Although Merryland made it sound as if the special counsel investigation would be quick, we doubt that will be the way it goes, because the Dummycrats want to impede Trumpet’s run for president as much as possible.  It’s probably what Joe Biden wished for when he blew out his eighty birthday candles.

CAR-A-LARGO – by Dub L. Standard

            Since writing the above story we now have Joe Biden being pursued with a special counsel investigation.  When he was leaving office as Vice President in 2017 he took classified files from the White House.  He placed some of them, a whole year later, at his office at Penn State not far from some Chinese people (and no they were not running a restaurant, however, they were probably running a Chinese laundry for money and they may have been able to do take out of the files if they had wanted to).  The Chinese donated money to the college and that paid Biden his salary (coming from the college) that Sloppy Joe was not worth even getting (the salary).  This batch of classified material was found before the midterm election but it was kept silent by all those on Biden’s side, as they wanted to have a big win in the election.  And you still do not think that they did not cheat in 2020?   I have some swamp land in Florida you can buy off me if you want.

            Since the first batch it turns out that Biden also stole classified files or materials when he was still in the Senate!  Wow, yet they treat him with kitten gloves (pussy footin’ around the man) like he is a VIP (and I do not mean Vice President)! 

            Since that first November discovery by Biden’s lawyers, said to have been sent there to move stuff out (yes, I also have a Brooklynn Bridge you can buy off me for a small sum), more files were found in Biden’s Wilmington residence, in his garage and library.  They were safe, the ones in the garage because they were with his CAR-A-LARGO, locked up.  Yes, I am borrowing Jessy Watter’s catchy name for the whole affair.  It is a better name than “worse than Water Gate”, even though this really IS worse than Water Gate ever was!

            Speaking of Watergate, did you know that the only reason why Nixon lost his job is because the CIA set him up?  This is because Nixon knew that the CIA was behind Jack’s assassination and they did not want him to go off half-cocked blabbing about it.  And did you know that Bob Woodward was really a Naval officer (he inspected people’s belly buttons) at the Pentagon?  That’s right, but shortly before Watergate began Boob, I mean Bob, left his job at the Pentagon (where he worked with intelligence people) and then automatically got a job as a journalist (which he never was) at the WAPO (years before Jeff Bozos bought it).

            Even though Garlic Merryland set up a special counsel (a lawyer who is suspect to do a fair investigation) to investigate Sloppy Joe’s handling of classified material, the fix is already in and Biden knows it.  Yes, we have a two-tier justice system today.  Even more documents were found over the month of January.  What is worse, timeline wise, is that Garlic Merryland (the Athorney General?) knew about the Penn State situation before he appointed the Special Counsel to investigate Donald Trumpet’s MAR-A-LARGO event!  Talk about double standards (not to be confused with Standards on the corner watching all the cars drive by)!  The Left and State Media seem to neglect telling us that while Trumpet had the power to declassify material a Vice President does not have that power.  Of course, what is to stop Biden from declassifying the material now?  Would that count?  What also is very suspicious is that (remember the FBI raid on Mar-A-Largo?) there has not been an FBI raid on the Wilmington house or the Penn State office, or Biden’s beach house!  Instead, are you ready for this, Biden’s attorneys are the ones searching for the classified documents (and they probably do not have proper security clearance).  In fact, early on in the search the FBI is nowhere to be found at all. Flash forward two weeks after Biden has had fair warning and he’s had time to go to the scene of the crime and dispose of classified documents that FBI investigate, but only with the Biden lawyers present and the lawyers telling FBI where they are allowed to go!  This makes my Spidy sense go off big time.  These lawyers have become witnesses.  Does Garlic Merryland really know what he is doing?  Yes, he does, and that too frightens me.

Dear Crabby,

            My husband’s been walking around on all fours as of late.  What should I do?

                                                            –Puzzled

Dear Puzzled,

            Put a saddle on him, ride him around, and then feed him a lump of sugar.

STUDENT LOAN RECIPIENTS – by Loan Nongrata

            Even though Joe Biden broke the law (the Constitution forbids him from paying people for their debts, and this is why nobody has as yet received any money) in order to pander for young critter’s votes in the 2022 election, you will never believe what the recipients of these bogus loans would do with the money, if they do receive the money.

            These people said that they would go on vacation, use it gambling, dine out, and use it on drugs.  This means that they still would have the debt to pay back!  So would this not mean that the money should not be given to these irresponsible folk and instead be given directly to the banks or loan companies that these people owe the money to?

NUTSO FAMOOSE QUOTE:

“If you hear me screaming bloody murder there’s a good chance I’m enjoying myself.”—Wednesday Adams

NUTFLIX’S WEDNESDAY – by Friday S. Fish

            Well folks, the wokesters are at it again!  They are bad mouthing Tim Burpton over his Adams’ Family series Wednesday.  What’s their beef?  Bigotry and prejudice, is their beef, they are like an old record. 

            They have claimed that Tim Burpton has hired black actors to play the villains, or the bad guys!  The black girl is a bully!  Oh, how awful!  But if they would have stuck around for the whole series and really watched the shows they would have found out that the black students were not evil or bad people or even the villains!  In fact, they became friends of Wednesday Adams.  SNAP, SNAP!!!

            These wokesters also missed the actual bigotry and prejudice brought out in the show.  They totally glossed over the stereotypical white bully sport team at the beginning of the movie!  These male “jocks” were picking on Pugsley, Wednesday’s younger brother.  She got even with the swim team when she poured piranha fish into the swimming pool!  Well, she got expelled for that one, and that set the show up for her new academy, where her parents went when they were teenagers.

            This school happened to be for “outsiders”.  I suppose that name is better than “monsters”. So the whole movie had to do with prejudice against monsters.  But, you know, the school was full of werewolves, sirens, and other type of people. There were students there who also had no faces.  I am not sure what they were called, and I have no idea how they ate anything or how they saw where they were going.  The same question arises with Thing, after all, he is just a hand.  And how stereotypical is that – that a hand is a servant – “Give me a hand, will you, Thing?”

            It was the town’s people who were not happy with this school, especially the sheriff.  Who was in power as the town’s mayor?  A black man!  Only he got killed.    But it seems as if the prejudice, being that it began with an old white man in the days of the Salem Witch Trials, was all against witches and the “outsiders”.  Gee, this just went over the heads of those who seem to be woke Karens!

            So who did turn out to be the villains?  A white woman and a white boy, so much for stereotyping the villains; am I right?  The only problem I had with the show is that I knew who the villains were before Wednesday Adams did!  Way before!  Okay, I went back and forth on the two white boys, but I did know when they arrested one boy, who was an artist, that he was innocent, and that it was the other boy.

            I liked the eight part series, as there was a mystery to be solved by Wednesday (it did not matter which day of the week the mystery was solved on).  I loved a lot of her one line zingers!  The show was humorous, not too scary, and there may be a second season.  We can only hope.

WASTE OF TAX PAYER’S MONEY – by Spend Thrift

            Besides trying to waste money on student loans, Joe Biden has given money so that a Rhode Island town can have heated sidewalks in their downtown area, instead of giving them money that could really help the town out.

            Also, twenty-five million dollar is going towards building a bridge in the Arizona desert so that people can go watch the birds.  More like they get to watch as their tax money flies away.

            And then in the state of Washington, for Lummi Island, he is using fifty million dollars to build an electric fairy.  The gays will be happy about that, I suppose!  But, the citizens of Lummi Island think the whole idea is stupid (because it is).  Does Joe Biden even use his brain?  Remember that the electric cars exposed to salt water, after Hurricane Ian, began to explode and catch on fire?  What if salt water gets on the batteries for the Fairy boat?  (I know; it is really a ferryboat.)

FTX SCAM WITH BITCOIN – by Fooled Yew

            Young Scam Bankman-Fraud has embezzled millions of investors’ monies.  There is something wrong with the people who were fooled by this con man, I mean, his name is SCAM Bankman-FRAUD for Pete’s sake!  I’m not sure who Pete is, except that troop leader who got shot in the neck with an arrow, the guy on Ghosts.  But Pete aside, this man is said to have been living in the lap of a Bahaman-Carripion luxury apartment in the sky (moving on up!).  He was living there with his employees and even worse, he was having sex with his employees.  His girlfriend is so ugly…

            How ugly is she?

            She’s so ugly even Frankenstein’s monster swiped left!

            Scam claimed to be a vegetarian, but he has a lot of fat on his body to really be a vegetarian.  Maybe he’s eating “almost turkey”?  He also claimed to be worried about the environment (climate changes clothes in the broad daylight).  He also said he drove a hybrid Toyota Corolla instead of a gas-guzzler. 

            He sent money to the Uke-rang in order to have it laundered.  He donated loads of embezzled money (coming in second to George Soreass) to the Dummycratic Senatorial nominees for the 2022 election (and it seemed to have paid off), this may explain how John Fetterwoman actually won.  (Side Note:  In pictures taken on Fetterwoman’s first days in Washingaton of Clothes, his head was chopped off, but you could see his wife’s head!  What a nice wife!  Huh?)  Scammy also went to the White House – what was he doing there?  Let us not forget that these donations were embezzled.  What will happen to him?  Probably nothing; so far the Left has celebrated him at a New York Slimes get together and then George Stepsonallofus interviewed him.  I doubt General Athorney Merryland will have time to look into him with a special counsel, what with him already having two to deal with now. 

            After returning to the USA, Bankman-Fraud was released on millions of bail, two mysterious donors provided the hay.  But the judge refused to allow their identities to be known.  Is your Spidy sense going off?  On his first day to real boy’s court he was wearing a backpack.  When he left the courthouse the backpack was nowhere to be found!  What was in the pack?  Was there money in it to bribe his judge with?  Just who was he bribing that day?  And why is his trial not set until October 2023?

AIR MARSHALS GROUNDED – by Enchurito Burrito

            Joe Biden is once more – a retard!  He is now taking U.S. Air Marshals off of airplanes to stick them down on the border to help the border patrol out.  The Air Marshals are like birds out of the air, quite literally, they have no idea what they are doing, they have no border training, and they really do not want to do this type of duty, because they never get to sit down on the job!  They are so out of shape because they do sit down on the job that there is no way they are in good shape to take on migrant invaders!  Biden should send in the National Guard, but he does not want to do that because that would actually be doing something in the right direction.

            He is also hurting us by making flying in the air less safe and secure because the Air Marshals are no longer on board the airplanes so that they can deal with people who get into fights with each other over silly stuff (like masks). Biden does not seem to think, nothing new there, that terrorists (who have come cross the southern border) will not attack using our airplanes again.  So why not send in the National Guard?  Because, that would mean that Biden would need to declare a national emergency and he ain’t about to do that!  He would rather this country DIE (and he’s doing a pretty good job of it).  Maybe he figures he is short on years so why should our country continue to grow and prosper when he can’t?  What a maroon!

            It was right after New Years that the FAA was hacked; all flights were grounded until our government paid the ransome fee in Bit coin.  A similar hack took place in December in the Philippians and twenty-four hours after it happened in the U.S.A. then Canadahey had the same exact problem.  Yet, none of these countries are on the same computer system.  Stock in Bit coin currency went flying after our grounded flights were in the air again.

DEPARTMENT OF SINERGY’S DOG MASTER IN CHARGE OF SPENT FUEL RODS – FINALLY FIRED – by Nuke Fissyfist

            Sam Brinton, a sex pervert, was in charge of nuclear spent fuel rods.  How he got the job is a big mystery.  Sam loves to dress up in women’s clothing, but he should not wear anything above the knees, because there is something wrong with his left knee – just look at pictures of him and you’ll see what I mean!  Really, dude, just keep it all to yourself, wear below the knees clothing, please!

            During his sex time hours he loves to play with men who are pretending to be dogs (weird S & M).  But that’s not even the worst about him.  Sam is a thief, a lying thief at that.  While he was at the Saint Paul airport he was seen stealing a $20,000 bag* (full of woman’s clothing).  The man had not even checked a bag in before his flight.  He claimed later on that he realized he got the wrong bag (What he had one just like it? – Uh, no he did not)!  He then claimed that he left all the clothes from the bag in his motel room.  Again, uh, no he did not! 

            This dude was put in in charge of disposal of spent fuel rods by Sloppy Joe!  I would not even let his dad fix a sewing machine!

            Another weird thing about him is that he gave a seminar “Spanking:  From Calculus to Chemistry”.  He says, “Physics is a pivotal part of the kink experience.”  We cannot hold his looks against him, as he cannot help how he looks, but he has a strong resemblance to that scumbag lawyer – Avenaughty (who is going to jail).  Fortunate for all of us is that Sam was fired from his all-important job after stealing another bag of clothes at the LA-X.

*It seems to me that anyone who flies with a $20,000 suitcase is just asking to have it stolen!  Who does that?

LIST OF ACTUAL EXPLANATIONS FOR BIDEN’S LIES

Hunter’s laptop is Russian dressing disinformation.

Said he had not received a coronavirust vaccine before he was inaugurated as Acting-Puppet President, because he had two shots (not one).

There is a border crisis “every single solitary year” what he really meant is that under him there is a border crisis “every single second of the day”.

He inherited the border crisis situation from his parents (who were also Dummycrats).

The “vast majority of illegal migrants are sent back” to “GO” (Do not collect $200)

Border crisis is under birth control.

Border patrol agents whip creamed Haitians.

Georgia voting law is “Jim Eagle Scout 2.0”

Claimed his great grandfather was a coal miner, making him a coal miner’s daughter.

He never spoke to Hunted about his business dealings (with foreign countries) while in the shower.

He was “shot at” in Iraq by news cameras.

He was arrested trying to visit (sneak in to) Nelson Mandola’s bedroom.

We will get all Americans out of Afghanistan after I die.

Masks will not be mandatory on Halloween.

No new taxes for those making less than 400,000 pennies a year.

He was arrested during the civil rights movement for indecent exposure.

He had a plan to shut down the coronavirust but forgot what it was.

He used to drive a tractor trailer but always crashed it.

He was a professor at University of Pen-Pig. 

Inflation is expected and temporary for me because I’m eighty now.

President Trumpet lost the election…because we really cheated, A LOT!!!

Biden has said he has not taken a penny from any foreign source.  What he meant was that his son has taken loads of dollars (even more pennies) from foreign sources.

TWITTERER HELPS COVER UP HUNTED’S LAPTOP – by Count Basics

            Thanks to Elong Musk, the recent new owner of TWITTERER, the truth is finally coming out about the Biden campaign, along with the DNC, getting TWITTERER to cover up Hunted’s Laptop and calling it Russian disinformation before the 2020 presidential election.  There are actual e-mails between the Dummycrats and TWITTERER employees getting the company’s cooperation to shadow ban and cancel anyone who happened to mention Hunted’s laptop, especially the story printed in the New York Post Toasties.

            Bijaya Giddyup played a key role in the cover up; she was fired day one by Elong Musk.  Good riddance!  She went about canceling people who commented on the laptop before the 2020 election.  Jack Doorsee, the prior owner to TWITTERER, seems to have been left out in the cold; he was oblivious as to what was really going on.  But not really!

            Former FBI agent, Jim D. Baker of half-baked schemes – like the Steel Dossier stuff – was brought in to TWITTERER and he had a roll in the laptop cover-up.  The man really hates President Trumpet!

            One of TWITTERER’S victims was actor James Woods.  For six years they have made his life miserable, nobody in Hollywood wants to even hire him.  Is this the real reason why James Woods High School was named Adam West High School on The Family Guy?  I think so!  But now that the truth is coming out, about what the TWITTERER heads did, James is willing to sue the Federal government.  I hope he gets somewhere.  While commenting to Tuckered Out Carlson he said, “Scratch a Liberal [Dummycrat] and you will find a fascist every time.”

            The conspiring between the social media companies (TWITTERER is not alone in this stuff) and the Dummycrats, especially the Biden Administration, are these companies trying to take away “Freedom of Speech” our fundamental RIGHT! 

            Why is it that a white African American, like Elong Musk, understands the importance of free speech more than many born in America Americans do?

FACT:  You know how all the Dummycrats complain about our forefathers being “old white men”?  Well, when James Monroe, who later became a president, signed the Declaration of Independence he was only eighteen years old.  Many of the signers were young guys!  It just goes to show you that the Dummycrats paint history with brushes full of lie paint.

RAPHAEL WARLOCK WINS AGAIN?  – by Goe Figure

            December 6, 2022 was the runoff for Senator in the state of Georgiapeaches.  Raphael Warlock, a communist preacher man (who runs a rundown apartment building), won the election.  He got around 51% of the votes.  I can’t figure out why the people of Georgiapeaches want this man as their Senator – again?  He is an inside man for Joe Biden and does the Biden’s bidding. 

            Hershey Walker, who was a football player (not soccer), was the Republican candidate, and he lost.  I guess people do not like chocolate candy very much.  Maybe they believed all the lies that the Left spewed forth about the man and could not vote for him?  Maybe it was because President Trumpet tried to help him out that he lost?  Maybe it was because Mitcham Deodorant McConnell did not get him enough money for his campaign that he lost?   It is hard to say, no it’s not – It is McConnell’s fault.

            What this means is that the Senate is going to be run by the Dummycrats and Harris’s vote will probably not be needed anymore.  This also means that Georgiapeaches citizens are in drastic need of some enlightenment and counselling.  Mr. T’s words just ring in my head, “I pity the fool[s]!”

CONGRESS WILL BE INVESTIGATING A.O.C. – by Costa Rica

            News flash, come next year [2023] Congress will be investigating A.O.C.  You may be asking, “What for?”  Well, it is for her appearance at the Galla, just who paid for her to attend?  Remember the dress?  (See below.)  Congress should investigate the dress maker at the same time!  Hey, if AOC still has the dress below, maybe she could wear it when she gets married?

SAN FRAN’S SUICIDE NETTING – by Annett Funnycello

            It took four years to build San Francisco’s Golden State Bridge.  It opened on May 28, 1937 and it was under budget.  Things change.  In order to keep people from committing suicide, by jumping off the bridge, the idea was hatched that suicide netting should be installed.  The installation began in 2018 for seventy-six million dollars, to be completed in two years.  Somehow, it got caught up in litigation (better than netting).  After four years the cost has ballooned to four hundred million and will not be expected to be finished until the end of 2023.  If you adjust for inflation, the suicide netting will cost as much as the bridge itself did. 

FISHERMEN IN MAINE BEING CAGED IN – by Don Key Hote

            Ecologists (or Greeners, as they should really be called [meaning that they are really communists]) are making it impossible for fishermen in Maine to continue catching lobsters.  They are claiming (and it is all a lie) that the profession is endangering Right Whales.  Funny, it’s the first time that the Left has ever been concerned about something on the Right!  What makes it worse is that the Greeners, who are making the false claim, happen to know that the Right Whales do not migrate to the coastline or waters (or even Maximum Waters) of Maine.  These fishermen are the ones being endangered – they may go broke!  But the Left does not care.  Furthermore, it is going to make the price of lobster go up higher than it already is in today’s ballooning economy!

            Since writing this article, whales have been beaching themselves on the New Jersey coastline where there are Greeners trying to put windmills in the water!  These jerks are using sonar, using the same frequency that the whales use, and so the whales are getting confused and beaching themselves.  That is the theory anyway.  If you are someone like Penelope Smith, a psychic who speaks to animals, you might have a different theory.  She says that when dolphins and whales beach themselves it is to get man’s attention.  They are very intelligent beings.  So are the whales of New Jersey trying to get man’s attention – “Hey, Idiots, do not put windmills in the ocean!  It’s a really BAD idea!!!”  Perhaps all intelligent life in our oceans, like the whales and dolphins and porpoises will beam up into outer space and whistle to us, “So long and thanks for all the fish!”

            The group that is behind these wild claims (of Right Whales being in danger by the lobster fishermen) has financial ties to a windmill company.  And being able to use the Atlantic coastline for their business would be a windfall.  PUN intended.  But wait, they really do not seem to have the whale’s interests at heart, do they?  Especially if it is the same company behind the New Jersey windmills and the Maine windmills!

            The local fishermen say that they have been conservationists for decades and they are way ahead of the Greeners.  But I guess their conservation practices are too close to being conservatism, so the Greeners are against these particular conservationists.  And Green Peace – the organization that use to save the whales – well, they’re nowhere to be found.  They are being silent about the windmills.  They are just a bunch of fat cats now. If windmills are placed in the ocean much of the life on the ocean floors will be destroyed. Is this what we should be doing as ecologists? NO!

            In the meantime, Joe Biden served lobster during his shindig, called a State Dinner, while the French president was in Washingaton of Clothes.  It is possible that these lobsters did not come from Maine, but from the nearest Fred Lobster restaurant?  YUM!

DUMPS ABOUT THE SHADOW PUPPETS, a.k.a. TWITTERER FILES – by Charlie McCarthy

            On December 2, 2022, Elong Musk began to dump e-mails in Tweets.  Musk had Matt Tiehebejeebe send out some of the Tweets.  What he said was vastly ignored by the mainstream media, and then lied about by them, because they do not want to face the music, even though it was a lovely Waltz Disney.

            After this big dump of Tweets people were asking why there was no mention of the FBI in many of them.  So I guess the private eyes of Musk did some investigating and found out that their main lawyer, counseling Twitterer big wigs in 2020, happened to be X – FBI counsel Gym Baker.

            On December 6, 2022 Musk Tweeted, “In light of concerns about Baker’s possible dinner roll in suppression of information important to the public dialogue, he was exited from Twitterer today.”  In other words, he was canned.  And it is about time to, because Gym Baker is no good.  He is the one who took Hilary Rotten Clinton’s fake Steel Dossier and used it as a weapon against the Trumpet campaign and President Elect Trumpet and President Trumpet too (that’s three Trumpets)!  He is also the buddy of X head FBI man Gym Commie; why not?  They share the same first name of Games (they both like to play).

            Did Baker scramble eggs and Twitterer files before Matt Tiehebejeebe released them on December 2nd, perhaps keeping the FBI’s name out of everything?  Why was former FBI council a sensor for Twitterer-heads?  “It’s like having a fox doing your chicken coup head count,” said Greg Gutfelt of LOX News.

            On December 8, 2022 a new person began to do Musk’s Tweeting.  At 19:20 in the evening Bari Weissensmart Tweeted:  “1.  A new #Twitterer Files investigation reveals that teams of Twitterer employees build blacklists, prevent disfavored Tweets from trending, and actually limit the visibility of entire accounts or even trending topics—all in secret, without informing users.”  This means that the people running Twitterer were secretly working against those who they wanted to silence.

            Bari also said, “3.  Take for example, Stanford’s Dr. Jay Battenchair who argued that Coronavirust lockdowns would harm children.  Twitterer secretly placed him on a ‘Trends Blacklist,’ which prevented his Tweets from trending. 

            “4.  Or consider the Popular Mechanics Magazine right-winged talk show host, Dan Bongogino, who at one point was slapped silly with a ‘Search Blacklist.’”  Is it because he is a black man that he was put on a blacklist?

            “5.” Bari continued, “Twitterer set the account of conservative activist Charlie Kirk to ‘Do Not Amplify.’”  This is because Charlie Kirk likes to use a bullhorn.  But this is the first time that I ever heard that Charlie Kirk is an activist!  To be honest, I just thought he was a young honest Christian man who cares about the education of our children!  No, the real activists are the college professors!  Maybe Bari is not such a Weissensmart person after all!

            “6.  Twitterer denied that it does such things [as mentioned in steps 1-5 (not sure what was said in step “2”)].  In 2018, Twitterer’s Vijaya Gaddeup (then Head of Legal Polish Sausage and Crust) and Kavlon Beykpour (Head of Produce and Lettuce) said:  ‘We do not use shadow puppets.’  They added:  ‘And we certainly don’t shadow ban these puppets based on political viewpoints or ideology.’”

            And we skip right over step 7 (whatever it may be) and go to step 8.  “Think about visibility filtering [remember those who wear rose colored glasses should not throw stones] as being a way for us to suppress what people see on different levels.  It’s a very powerful tool,’ one senior Twitterer employee told us.”

            REAL journalists, and Mr. Musk, have released even more Twitterer information.  In fact, Gym Baker WAS doing evil things and ordering Twitterer employees to fulfill his evil commands.  So, yeah, conservatives and honest truth speaking people were silenced, which goes against the First Amendment of free speech.  Nobody at Twitterer should be banning “so-called” Hate Speech!  What is Hate Speech?  What one person considers Hate Speech may not be real Hate Speech or what others may consider as Hate Speech.  Like I doubt that when Joe Biden says really nasty things about MAGA people that he considers it to be Hate Speech (even though it is).  The honest, hardworking, everyday citizens of the MAGA people certainly feel like it is Hate Speech targeted at them.  And they are targeted.  Likewise, all the nasty lies put out about policemen has painted targets on the backs of all policemen!  The politicians who say these nasty things about our hard working policemen think that they are being clever and smart, but they are putting bad things into the public’s heads, and these people’s heads think that they can get away with disrespecting policemen and trying to kill them!

POP PORN – by Irrele Vant

            One thing that Elong Musk is trying to clean up at Twitterer is the porn trafficking on the site.  Children’s porn has been a problem for many years on the Internet.  According to a 2021 Cyber tip line report on electronic service providers for missing and exploited children Twitterer had 86,666 instances.  But that is low compared to Instagramma’s 3,393,654 instances and Twofacedbook’s 22,118,952 instances.

            Andrea Stopper Twittered on December 3, 2022 – “Twitterer updated its mechanism to detect content related to child sexual abuse/exploitation material.  [It is] faster, more efficient, and more aggressive.  No mercy for those who are involved in these illegal activities…The daily suspension bridge rate has ALMOST DOUBLED over the past few days.  It means that Twitterer is doing a capillary analysis of contents, especially those published in the past.  It doesn’t matter when illicit content has been published in the past [we will kill it dead].  Twitterer will find it and act accordingly…In the past twenty-four hours, Twitterer started to step up its efforts and took down 44,000 suspicious accounts, including over 1,300 profiles that tried to bypass detection using code words [like “hey you little kiddy, you!”] and text in images [like poop M. O. G.’s] to communicate.  Zero tolerance.”

            Back on October 1, 2022 the New York Post Toasties said, “[Before Musk] Twitterer refused to remove child porn because it didn’t “violate policies’: lawsuit”.  It took over a month for Twitterer to take down 57,000 accounts in India on child pop porn.  After Elong Musk took over, he’s done more to actually cancel children’s porn in one month than what has been done in the past ten years.  Yet, I doubt that the people on the Left are even grateful to Musk for his good deed!  And why should they be when their goal is to demoralize every single child in the world and teach them all about sex, make them believe they need a sex change (while providing the drugs for them to do so), and show them male cross-dressers at the libraries. 

CRISTEN CINNAMON GOES INDEPENDENT – by Noah Change

            After Senator Warlock won the Georgia runoff on December 6th, the Aridzonian Senator, Christen Cinnamon, renounced the Dummycratic Party, saying, “I really do not like attending parties at all, I am a regular home body.”

            She is now registered as an Independent.  However, there will not be much change in the Senate because of this, as she is still going to CA-CA-ASS with the Dummycrats.  In other words she will probably still vote their way.  She believes that this will help her get re-elected when she runs again, but if I were her I wouldn’t count my crocodiles before they’re hatched.  Also, if you really do not want to be a Dummycrat then why vote with them?  I say, renounce them ALL THE WAY!!!

            By the way, she is not really on the side of conservatism when she is spotted attending the Davos One World Order get together.  Also spotted and checked at the meeting was Joe Mansion.

MERRY CHRIST MASS AND A SAPPY NEW YEAR

            We wish(ed) you a merry Christmas (but did not get this published in time), Christ mass and all the humbug that goes with it.  We will be perspiring around our fireplace this year because there is not enough fuel or natural gas to go around, it is going to be too expensive to use!  HA!!  Grinch Biden has made sure that we all will have a rotten time, we’ll get less to eat, fewer gifts, and all that sort of stuff because inflation is so bad.  He won’t admit to it either, but you can bet that he’ll have plenty of ice cream to eat and plenty of gifts under his Christmas tree.  (Joe used classified documents to wrap all his gifts up.)  Too bad Santa is not real; he would give Biden enough lumps of coal in his stocking to supply our country’s energy needs for decades to come (that’s how bad Biden’s been)! 

            Don’t expect your new year to be any better, either.  It will get worse.  Not only that, now the IRS will come after you too, and if you don’t pay up they’ll hold their guns on you until you cough up the money they claim you owe them.

FACT:

A dozen eggs, in some stores and in parts of USA, now cost $10.00!!!  So some people have begun to rent chickens.  Are eggs so expensive because of the bird flu or is it because the Chinese are buying up all our chicken farms?

Today the word transparent means “a man who has a baby”.

The Dummycrat party is made up of weak men and angry women.

ANOTHER NUTSO FAMOOSE QUOTE:

“They claim that Joe Biden never worked in the private sector, but now you’re telling me he’s been running a Chinese laundry in Delaware for years!” – Brad Pittsburgh

MORE GOVERNMENT WASTE

Three million dollars spent to inject hamsters with steroids and then watching them fight – hence the idea for Disney’s new cartoon Hamster and Gretel.

Two million dollars spent dosing puppies with cocaine.  (Dr. Faust is probably behind this one, we all know how much he enjoys smelling dog butts.)

One million dollars used to turn mice into alcoholics (so that you cannot control your computer pointer and clicks). 

One half million dollars spent to teach mice about racist aggression.  Nobody knows how the scientists even accomplish this one – so it is probably a spoof on us.  Can you imagine a mouse calling a rat a racist?

Two hundred and ten million dollars spent on education in Jordan.  Why they want those children to be taught school in a river is beyond me!  Maybe it is because it is where Jesus was baptized by John?

The Department of Defense, Deports, and Defeet spent twenty-eight million dollars on new camouflage uniforms – the only problem is it’s the visible type of camo that you can see with your naked eyes.

One hundred twenty thousand dollars was spent to see if Marvel Comic’s Thanos can really snap his finger and eliminate half the world population while wearing his gauntlet.  This expense is true!  I only wish we had made it up!

Three and a half million dollars was spent on the Mike Obummer Hiking Trail in Georgiapeaches.

Nancy Pelono got a truck load of money for her name to be plastered on some federal building in San Francisco (not a treat).

Three million dollars was spent to create bee friendly highways.  We could not figure out what this one is even about!

Uke-rang got forty-seven billion for the war (this is before they were given ‘tanks’)  No, tank you!  No, tank you.  No, tank you!

The FBI was given eleven billion dollars and an additional four hundred million dollars for a new head quarters.  Why should we give them anything when they have made John Q. Public out to be enemy number one?

In 2010 we paid (in our hard earned tax money) sixty-one million dollars to the World Economic Forum (that thing held in Davos, Switzerlandwatch).  We pay them every year loads of money and what do we get in return?  A bunch of idiots getting together to plot out their dastardly deeds in taking away our freedom and doing really bad things to us!  The State Department gives $7 billion tax dollars to the United Nations; $583 million to the World Health Organization, $250 million to the International Atomic Energy Agency, $26 million to the World Trade Organization.  For U.S. defense we give $4 billion to the European Deterrence Initiative (with another $4.2 billion requested in the fiscal year of 2023) and $817 billion on our own military , much of which is stationed in Europe in accordance with the NATO agreement, and we pay more than any other country does to these one world order groups.

It is our tax money that is being used for all of these things, plus the burn – our money is being used to help illegals stay in our country (millions of dollars). 

UNGRATEFUL ILLEGALS REFUSE TO VACATE NEW YORKSO MOTEL – by Carne Assada y Dos Tamales

            New Yorkso Mayor Black Adams placed illegal aliens into some mighty high classed motels in the city.  These rooms cost New Yorkso citizens five hundred dollars a night to stay in.  That’s right, the New Yorkso tax payers were paying the bill for these ungrateful illegals.  They were having wild parties, trashing the rooms, and the free food that they were given they tossed into trashcans.   The homeless people living on the streets of New Yorkso City could only dream of having a free meal!

            When asked to move to a place in Long Island Tea, they refused.  They repeated lies about the place to the news reporters (lies they probably heard from left-winged activists) and they refused to move to clear up rooms for new incoming illegals being bused into the city.  So they are camping out in front of the motel now (in tents) making it difficult for the homeless to know where their tents are at. 

            If Mayor Black Adams really was a true Black Adam then he would tell these rowdy illegals, “Either you go to Long Islandtea’s facility or else you get a one way plane ticket back to the country you originally came from.  And we will finger print you so that we know who you are and you will never be able to come back into our country!”  By the way, that plane ride would not land, they would strap a parachute on the illegal’s back and push him out the plane door saying, “Ass to loo egg yolks!” But we are dreaming if we think that something like this would ever happen.

            To prove to the illegal men that the Long Islandtea facility was comfortable he spent a night there in one of the cots.  Then he went on TV to announce how pleasant of a time he had, especially since he had his security blanket with him.  Security blanket is code for his security team! 

The following chart proves that white people cannot win where real bigots and prejudice people exist (mostly they exist on the Left). 

AL BOAR FLIES TO DAVOS – by Green Acres (soon to be owned by China)

            Not only did Al Boar fly to Davos for the World Economic Forum in his jet plane, but so did everybody else who was there!  Talk about carbon footprints!  But they don’t care, because they are ABOVE THEIR LAWS!!! Mostly because they fly above them in their jets.

            Al Boar has made $330 million with his climate alarmist business.  His “green” investment firm is now worth $36 billion and they pay him $2 million per month.

            The bad thing about Boar and his “comrade” friends is that they LIE to each other while patting themselves on the back, but even worse, they lie to everybody in the world.  Mr. Ketchup, John Kerry, was also at the meeting.  Wow, if they knew how to tell the truth the world would be a whole lot better off.

MIKE TENSE ALSO CAUGHT WITH CLASSIFIED DOCTORS – by Me Too

            Former Vice President to President Donald Trumpet, Mike Tense, was feeling left out, after his old boss and the VEEP before him were given special counsels by Garlic Merryland, so he called up somebody and copped to having a team of unclassified doctors on his staff.  

            What’s that you are saying?  He did not have classified doctors but classified documents, as in paper files?  My bad!  The question then is this:  Is Tense in deep state do-do?  Could be, after all, he is a Republican.

JANUARY SIXTH SCAM – by Knot Fare

            It turns out that the January six committee (put into place by Nancy Pelono) neglected to place true evidence into their report and findings and their little kangaroo court TV show.  It turns out that the Capitol police chief, Paul Irving Berlin, after finding out about “not so good” intentions meant for that day, asked for Nancy Pelono to okay the bringing in of the National Guard.  She, of course, refused, just like she did when President Trumpet asked her to allow them to come in for January 6, 2021.  They knew right away that Nancy would not like the optics of a National Guard presence or a Right Guard deodorant.  There was evidence of something bad happening that day and she totally ignored it and refused a bigger presence of police and/or guard.  Also, the FBI are not innocent in the goings on of that day, as they instigated riots (with planted potheads). 

            Yet, one man who was present outside the Capitol that day, who never went inside the Capitol that day, has been arrested and tortured by Nazi, I mean, naughty interrogators!  He has been called a domestic terrorist and he lost his job.  He has also basically been canceled, and he continues to be on a bank blacklist (he cannot get a loan or an account).  Yet Scam Bankman Fraud gets a “get out of jail” card so he can live with mommy and daddy until October!   When will the USA government begin to treat criminals like criminals and honest citizens like USA citizens?  When will the USA government stop destroying USA and begin to build it back up again?

STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS – by Nutso Goode

            On February 7, 2023 Sloppy Joe Biden gave his State of the Union Address, which is different from his Wilmington and beach house addresses.  This confused Joe.  He did not understand why he had to memorize a whole new different address.  He was relieved when he found out that he did not need to memorize anything; that he just had to read from the teleprompter.

            Our top notch staff refused to listen to his speech because we all knew it would be chalk full of lies and false innuendos.  And it was. Not only that, he plagiarized Republicans (like Trumpet, De Santisclaus, etc.) in order to trick people into thinking he will change his evil ways!  We did hear some of the audio and video clips and were glad to hear the Republicans object to Biden’s lies.  We also give praise to House Leader Kevin McCarthy for looking so stern for so long.  If I had been sitting up there I would have been rolling my eyes every second, and trying not to laugh out loud at Joe’s insane comments.

            There was a breath of fresh air, however, when the Governor of Little Rock, ARCH, Sarah Huckleberry Hound Colonel Saunders, gave her rebuttal.  We did watch a big portion of her speech.  I praise her for distinguishing between the Left’s insanity (or craziness) and the Right’s normalcy; however, she should have defined what being normal really is.  One definition is “occurring naturally” – like a normal immunity which has been accepted by normal people but disregarded and ignored by the crazy people in regards to the coronavirust!  Another definition is “sane”!  And sane is the opposite of crazy.  To be normal means that you are square, or perpendicular in nature; and I have always said I was a square!  Yeah, man, I don’t want to be a beatnik at all!  But this is what I like the best about the word, it means “according with, constituting [as in the American Constitution?], or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle”.  That pretty much sums it up for me!

            My favorite part of her speech was when she said that she is the youngest governor in USA at the age of forty, not only that, she is the FIRST WOMAN to be governor of Archensaw while Biden, being an 80 year old white man (is he really president or puppet?), belongs to a party that has no idea how to define what a woman is!  HA!!!  Good one, Sarah!

            Some news commentators thought perhaps Joe would speak about his old friend Pop Corn (not to be confused with Pop Porn).  That he would, you know, tell a good ol’ story to the country.  If he did that I would not know, remember, I did not watch the speech.  But Biden did promise Uke-Rang full support hose so long as the war lasts and there is a Russian dressing in the coal Slaw factory.  None of us understood that comment either!  Now I’m laughing like Camel Ian Harris, not a pretty sound!  Be glad you can’t hear me.