Idiotor in Chief: Gigolo Joe Edition: July all de time man! 2021
Ass Idiotor: Amanda Jean Turncoat
Library Features
Independent Day
Independent Day II – Look Out For Covid 19
President Trumpet Visits the Border – by Hot Tamale
In the last week of June Buggy the southern border actually had a visit by a REAL President. He got together with Texas’s governor, Hay Abbot! Then that night, it was a Wednesday Adams type of night, they both went onto the FOX News network show [Sean] Hamnity. The show was shot where everybody was hangar-ing out at an airport. Mr. Hamnity was a chicken taco because he neglected to ask Governor Abbot why he does not deploy ALL of his National Guard to the border to do patrol and keep the people from coming across the border (they carry guns don’t they?)
This is what drives me nuts, if we really wanted the people to go home why not pick them up and bus them to the nearest airport where they are put on a direct flight to their country of origin? If the country refuses to let the planes land then we give everybody a parachute and say, “Adios to la caboose!” And we kick them out the airplane door. It could not be any more expensive to do this than the federal government’s secret flights flying these people into any state of their choice (that president Sippy Cup is charging the tax payers for). In the long run it would be a whole lot less expensive to fly them home than to fly them into our country. And if they are forced to go back home, maybe they will not have enough money to pay the cartels for a second or third journey to the good ol’ U.S. of A.? It’s time we get tough!
New Songs to Sing and Listen To – by Melody Tone
Here are some new song titles that I believe you may not have heard of yet.
Today’s Zodiac – by Astral Projection
If you were born in this month (and near the end of June) you are a Cancer, unless you were born towards the end of the month then you are a Lion. But you should never fib! You may be wondering, if you are a Cancer, why you are so crabby? Why do your claws have rubber bands around them? And why do you feel like you are constantly under water? Yes, I have a lot of questions and I have NO answers what so ever!
Cancer is a water sign, so most of them are wet! Ha! I know that is not true, but I don’t care! The sign of Cancer is actually that of two suns connected to two crescent sandwiches, I mean moons. So the symbol of Cancer sort of resembles the number 69 on its side. And 1969 is the year that Apollo 11 launched – on July 16th. So we look to Revelation 12, where the woman God-crowned has dominion over the moon because July 16th is the birthdate of the woman God-crowned. The woman has twelve stars in her crown and twelve astronauts have walked on (had dominion over) the moon. The bi-centennial of her birth date is this July 16th – under the sign of Cancer. This woman has power over Leo – see the Tarot card below if you do not believe me.
And now for your ridiculous fortune: You are hard on the outside and mushy on the inside – but most people are! Yet, think of how delicious your inners are after being boiled in a big pot of water! YUM! Where’s the melted butter at? You will be given a truckload of grief this month after you cut your hair too short with your Flowbee. So, a word of advice, do not cut your hair, just pay to have it done at a salon! Stop being so cheap! Support your local hair dresser; you no longer need that mask.
Haunted Hunted Biden – by Emma Skew Lenity
It seems like something new is always popping up where Hunted Biden is concerned. New pictures have surfaced of Hunted standing with his Mexican business partners and also in the picture is his then vice president dad (who claimed he knew nothing about his son’s business partners while he was out campaigning in 2020 – well, if he was telling us the truth then it means that the man really is senile and needs to be given the boot. I don’t care if it is the right boot or the left boot, just give him the boot!).
Scam Phone Calls – by I. M. Mad
Be careful when you answer your phone, the person on the other end may be a scammer! Recently I received one of these calls. The man was hard to understand because he was either from India or else he was pretending to be from India. He claimed to be with my local cable company. This, of course, made me mad from the beginning because the cable company is run by communists. He said that they were updating to a new format and they had to change my cable boxes. He explained that they would deprogram my box and then reprogram it. What? My box is now a white supremacist?
He told me that my cable bill would go down $40 per month, I was okay with that but then he says, “But there is a one-time service fee of $250 (plus) for doing what they were supposed to be doing to my cable boxes while I was on the phone with him. They never did anything because I did not lose any programming information. That is when I blew my top, which I am sure he was expecting. He eventually transferred me to some supervisor (I think it was the same man) who would explain things more clearly, but he still did not speak clear English and he did not make any more sense than the other man (or maybe the same man). So I gave him a bad time. Finally, after I copied everything down that he dictated to me he transferred me to Christine, his supervisor in Florida.
After a somewhat long wait, I should have just hung up the phone; I hear a man’s voice say, “This is Chris.” He was a little bit more understandable, yet he still was not as clear as I thought he should be if he lived in Florida. And unless he underwent a transsexual operation, I do not think he ever was a Christine. He went over everything again and again; all the while I am steaming mad that he threatened to turn off my service. Yet, he could not have done so anyway, so I was the fool. And I guess this is what really steams me – I was mad at myself for being fooled or taken in by him (or them). He told me the changes had been finally made to my cable boxes but that I had to promise to send the money to him the next day (by check) or else my service would be cut off and he would call back the next day at our agreed time. I promised I would do so, but I had no intention of keeping the promise until I authenticated that this was on the up and up.
After hanging up I had another problem, I was unable to get ahold of a live person at my crummy cable company! They would not answer their phones except with a computer menu system (talk about systemic racism)! After hours of fuming I finally did get ahold of a man, and he transferred me to their bunko squad. I talked to her, but she too was from a different country, I asked her if she was really with the company? She said she was. I told her, this is why the con worked so well, that they used people from Asia as their representatives. I told her that their company should only have United States citizens working for them. She finished with me and I told her I wanted a new customer account number, because the scammers happened to know the last four digits of my account number – how is that possible? Nobody can give me an answer. They just say, “Oh, it’s out there.” Out where? Is it on the Internet? Where is there? She told me that she would transfer me to the billing department to see about changing my customer number. I waited and the phone disconnected. So I found a billing phone number and called it. Again, their computer sentinel would not let me pass, but I finally somehow managed to get someone. This man was nice but he said there was nothing he could do about changing my account number. Then he transferred me to another man who eventually tried to upgrade me. If I got the upgrade they could change my customer number and lower my monthly fees. Their logic astounds me! I said, “No thank you.” Really? I have had a traumatic experience and he wants to give me a sales pitch?
The scammers gave me a phone number to call them back on, but it was only a voice mail phone number. They also gave me an address to send the check to – in Plano, Texas. No, not Piano, Texas, Plano, Texas! I gave this information twice to the cable company. Will anything come of it? I doubt it.
Did the scammers call me back the next day at the appointed time? No, but I did get a lot of phone calls that I let go to my answering machine. So if they did call, I did not answer. They did call back the following morning, before I headed off to the grocery store.
I had an Oreo cookie in my mouth and I answered weirdly (deeper tone). I told him that nobody by the name (my name) lived here and that they had never had lived here. I also told him that I did not have that cable company’s service; never have. I was tempted to really tell him this, “I’m her sister and she passed away Tuesday afternoon from a heart attack. We don’t know why, but she must have been put under some great stress. Perhaps it was after she received a weird phone call from some scammers?”
He said I was lying to him. I told him I was not. He said I was. I asked, “Why would I lie to you unless you had lied to me first? Good-by!” I hung up on him.
So be aware that the cable company never reaches out to their customers via the phone. Do not fall for their tricks. I hope by giving you this information that it will help you and keep you from falling into their trap. Also, people calling up collecting money for cops are also scammers – just a head up. I know this because an actual policeman I know told this to his parents and his mom told it to me.
I now screen all my calls because I do not want to pay my phone company an extra ten dollars per month for caller I.D.! And my blocking phones allow me to do this with no problem – sweet! (I just found out how to do this on Thursday afternoon.) But the blocking mechanism does not actually block any calls because, you guessed it, I do not have caller I.D.!
U.F.O. REPORT – by Thor Grey
At the end of June a report about Unidentified Flying Objects was released. It was not a very good report, however, something is better than nothing. They no longer call them U.F.O.’s anymore either. They now have some other sort of weird name to describe them. However, it is now hard to dismiss that these objects are in the sky above us (and below us in the water) because of sonar pictures and released video from military pilots. And as Fox Moldier would say, “The Truth Is Out There”. Okay, it is his poster that says it, but he would strongly agree with what the poster says.
Gihon Goose 